u/LastSignal

I prefer to wear my hair in a wash and go. In the other natural hair sub it seems like everyone is against wash and go's because it doesn't retain length specifically for type 4 hair. I beg to differ. It also rubs me the wrong way that it seems like our hair needs to be hidden away. I want to be able to see my coils in all their glory.

I completely shaved my hair off 2 years ago and managed to grow it to bra strap length by only doing wash and go's. I would get protective styles 1-2x a year (e.g., knotless braids, soft locs).

This sudden discourse about wash and go's being bad has gotten to me a bit. I just wanted to share my routine and see if there's anything I can improve ot change to maximum my hair growth

Currently I wash my hair every 7-10 days. On wash day, I will detangle first with african pride pre-poo. I'll either use the felicia leatherwood brush or a wide tooth comb. I'll let it sit for about 30 mins. Then I'll wash it out and shampoo with shea moisture manuka honey shampoo. During the whole wash process, I keep my hair in 4 twists. For my deep conditioner, at the moment, I use the african pride moisture miracle chocolate, honey, and coconut oil conditioner. I leave it on for 30 mins.

After washing it out, I'll go in with rizos curls multivitamin leave-in, african Ppride curl cream, and miche gel to set mousse. I finish it all off by applying Indian hemp grease to the lower half of my hair and ends.

I used to let my hair air dry but recently started diffusing. I think its made a difference for me as far as my wash and go's looking defined and lasting. Between wash days, I spray water or leave-in on my palms and fluff out my hair in the mornings. Before bed, I will divide my hair into 4 sections and add scrunchies to stretch it.

I want to experiment with washing my hair every 5 days, but we'll see.

I've been together about 4 years at this point. I want to say 2 years into the relationship I noticed he had this terrible outlook on people in our city. Mind you we live in a big, major city. He's convinced himself that everyone hates him and is basically praying on his downfall.

He's convinced himself that his phone is tapped. He's accused me of doing the tapping many times just because I studied CS back in college. There are times if I say something that triggers him, he'll tell me to hush because people are listening from his phone.

Its gotten to the point where he won't want to go to places we normally would frequent because he got a bad vibe from the random people we encountered.

I told him recently if he really thinks his phone is tapped then get a new one and change his number. His response to that is that they'll still find a way to get to him again.

He's so critical of random strangers. If they appear unfriendly, he takes it to hurt. I am a pretty observant person, so I think he'd notice if someone was specifically targeting him.

There was a point in time in our relationship, his paranoia really got to me. It was making me fearful of others. I realize now, that everything is truly in his head. I try to be neutral when he vents to me but nothing he says ever sounds factual or reasonable.

He's not always caught up in his head which makes me feel like he may be bipolar. He didn't have the best upbringing during his childhood. I believe his parents were not there emotionally and there may have been abusive. His parents are very religious and he is the only one in his family to not be. I get the sense that he has always felt like the "black sheep" of his family.

I'm finding it hard to convince him that everything is okay. If someone was really out to harm him, they're doing a terrible job. He has a stable job, he's healthy, and has never gotten caught up in things in the duration of our relationship.

I noticed he fixates specifically on this idea that people envy him, especially men. He's into fitness and will tell me encounters he's had where he claims other men give him dirty looks, etc.

Most recently, he told me he thinks he needs to move to another city to start fresh and get away from people. I didn't say this to him but I thought you can't get away from what's in your head.

I truly think he may have some sort of mental illness. I want him to try and seek therapy but I don't know how to communicate this. I've never met someone so stubborn and convinced that they are right.

TL:DR my boyfriend is convinced people hate him and want to see him fail. Its caused him to be paranoid and avoid doing things we'd normally do.