u/Interesting_Cow1810

bc like, I was snatched last year and now I'm 40+ pounds overweight and look way more and my dad keeps being an asshole about it and I don't feel good in my body but I don't really have time for the gym so I guess I have to go to other methods and please no body positivity bs, people don't wanna look at me anymore and I'm sick of being ugly and I wanna be able to wear skirts without my ass hanging out or low rise jeans without looking obese as fuck I'm sick of it I don't care how unsafe or unhealthy it is I need to loose like 40-50 pounds of fat because I don't like getting lectured by my dad for being fat, he thinks it's not okay because I'm a young girl but he's like way bigger than I've ever been both of my parents are big and they call ME fat like wtf bro stfu anyways whatever helps

Okay I'm not 16 yet but I will be in like 3 weeks if that helps, I just need a summer job at the least. Preferribly not in green run because living there twice a month with my dad sucks enough. I guess I can look into Hot Topic or Box Lunch because I look like I work there but I have a versitile enough style I could work anywhere. I just need cash so I can hopefully pay for college at some point. Idk I don't wanna work in a high-crime area but at this rate that's gonna be impossible. I really like music and I surf so that has some oppertunities. I would prefer a retail job but I don't care. I'm not super picky, just not McDonalds, my friend worked there and hated it so much same with old navy, I don't wanna get harassed by old women all day like my other friend. My "standards" are optional, I'll take what I can get. My dad knows the manager at afk records so that's a solid option bc they're pretty tight since they've known eachother forever so that's cool. But yeah I'll take anywhere that'll give me money and time away from home.

I feel like shit all the time. My grades are slipping, my mom hates me, I'm unmotivated and tired all the time. I can't sleep, and I feel like I'm not good enough.

I was gonna have a sweet 16 in a month and was gonna start planning it, but my friends don't want to go, very few showed interest. The people I hang out with and talk to every single day for the last 2 years don't want to show up for me. After all the times I've showed up for them and been there for them. I've gone to every birthday, every performance, everything they have ever invited me too if I'm able to. But they don't wanna show up for me, not even once, not even for a milestone. One that I wasn't even supposed to achieve but I held on for almost 3 long years for my "friends".

And they always go out of their way to outshine me.

I've always adored the ocean and the life inside, my friend C knows more tham me and flexes it so much it annoys me so bad.

I've been acting since I was 11 and worked so hard to become a Jr. Thespian and now a full-fleged Thespian. I worked so hard every single day, and came to every single rehearsal, listened to every lecture from my directors, and took every bit of advice to make progress. I invited some of my friends to come to theater last fall and they loved doing tech, but they set foot on the stage for the first time (one a few months back, the rest 2-ish months ago) and they were all so much better than I've ever been. I've been an artist my whole life, C is better than me at that too. Their better singers and dancers than I am too. I've always dreamt of performing on Broadway and have worked hard towards that goal and they've told me I'll never go and then act like they will without putting in the effort. They havn't put in the years, the sweat, the tears, the late rehearsals, and all the daily hours of work. They don't even shw up to all the rehearsals because "oh I don't feel like it today", I have chronic pain and still go like come on dude.

And the audacity they have to brag about all the fun things the group did without me. They don't hardly invite me to anything fun anymore. And according to our friend E they talk shit about me when I'm not around.

My friend H (who is supposed to be one of my 2 best friends mind you) uninvited me from her brthday party like 3 days before after I helped plan it 3 months prior because "oh I invited too many people and you are already doing other stuff this weekend" because I was going to support my swim team at districts the day after the party. They don't go to any of my swim meets or anything I try to plan. They expected me to plan my birthday guest list around them because they don't like one of my friends.

They're all so fucking selfish and I can't do this shit anymore honestly. I have like 3 good friends and one of them is an exchange student who's moving back to Italy in a few weeks (June 15th).

My self proclaimed two best friends M and H (we're a trio) exclude me, ignore me, and are honestly just a duo at this point. They shunned me for over a week because I politely asked them to stop distracting me during a geometry test, they know I struggle with math and focusing (they know I have ADHD).

I was crying in the scene shop (thats connected to the hall and stage btw,it's a very open space that everyone passes through) before a show because my directors were laying into me about how my performance the night before was lacking a bit, even though they know I've been having really bad family struggles recently and it ha gotten really bad the night prior to that show and that morning. And they walked past and didn't even care. There were 4 castmates that actually cared and I didn't even hang out with two of them often proir to that.

They never ask how I am but treat me like a therapy dog. They know I'll listen and give advice but I feel like they're just using me. Every time one of my friends seems even slightly off I check up on them. But when I'm visibly miserable they rarely even act llike they care.

What do I even do at this point? I don't wanna just cut them off but I don't want to keep getting treated this way.

I'm burnt out and stressed all the time and I just need a break for a while. School is so overwhelming, my mom is getting more and more awful by the day. I just need a do-over, a second chance. I'm so unmotivated to do anything in school, my grades are slipping. If I got a second chance, I know I'll do better. I won't mess it up this time. It's getting difficult to balence being an actor with being a student. I'm starting to loose my spark that I've had all my live, my love for performing because of my jerk directors and castmates that hate me for litterally no reason. I don't want to be in this reality, I want to be free. I don't get to do anything (because of my mom), everyone always hyped up high school but it's the worst years of my life.

I'm getting ready to pierce my septum in a few weeks. I'm really looking forward to it. but I do have a few questions.

1. How do I clean it?

2. How long should I wait to change my jewelry?

3. How do I hide it? (some of my family won't be too pleased lol)

4. What is the best type of metal for starter jewelry? (ex. surgical steel, stainless steel, etc.)

5. Is there anything else I need to know?

Thank you so much for any answers!!!!!