u/Infamous-Vanilla-886

Hi folks, sorry if I’m missing out any information, a lot is going on and this is a bit shocking.

A relative of mine passed away last week and sorted their wills with solicitors who are handling their affairs. I’ve received some news a significant portion of the estate is going to me, it’s enough to get me on the property ladder.

I’ve been looking into getting a property as I’m becoming estranged from family (don’t want to go into reasons). I have two options:

A) buy a 2-bedroom leasehold flat outright. Service charges are £1,500.00 with the flat I’m looking at, and I’ve looked at the balance left over - it would give me about 3-4 years worth of an average salary, which means I could take 3-4 years out to work on my mental health as it’s been deteriorating due to family issues and I’m feeling burnt out.

B) Buy a 2-bedroom house. The inheritance isn’t enough to cover the full cost of a 2-bedroom house, but upon calculation the deposit would cover 48% of the deposit and the left over mortgage would be £120k. I have an idea to bring in a roommate to cover the mortgage and I’ll cover the bills. But, I won’t be able to completely quit work (I’m 25 btw), but I could potentially go part-time, but I’d still be burnt out.

In all honesty, part of me wants to go for A, but I know it’s difficult to sell leasehold flats. Many flats in my area have been on real estate websites for 1 year +. Just kind of seeking confirmation on what would be the best option and if you have any other ideas/suggestions. TIA.

So, I’m from a non-academic background and didn’t take my GCSEs or A-levels due to caring responsibilities at a young age. I got into university after the passing of my mother, by completing an access course. My family members aren’t supportive, even though I’m in my third out of final year and call me things like a dumb ass/stupid idiot and more nasty names I can’t mention on Reddit.

I’m looking for a career change, I would like to get into law but I have to be very academic in this industry. I’m self-teaching myself GCSEs and A-levels, but I find it hard to retain information. How did you become an academic? I’m not just talking about job descriptions, but like get a 1st and fall in love with academia.

To clarify, I’m not doing this to prove to my family I’m not dumb, but I’m doing this to myself to prove I’m not dumb as I started name calling myself and stopped believing. Any advice is appreciated.

I (25F) switched to a dumb phone two months ago and it has changed my life. I got my smart phone just before my GCSEs in 2017 and I became addicted and depressed. I’m now falling in love again with learning, I use my MacBook to learn and write notes. I’m self-teaching myself 5 GCSEs and 3 A-levels , I wondered if anyone had a recommended screen time limit?

I’m from the UK and was born into a dysfunctional family on both sides. My father’s side of the family mostly have a criminal background, they’re regularly arrested and are well-known to the police. My mother’s side of the family has had an ongoing feud since the death of my biological grandmother in 1994, even though my parents are both deceased.

I got into university via an access course and picked a degree I regret doing. I want to become a lawyer and was regretful and resentful towards my past as I didn’t stick around in school to do GCSEs and A-levels. I’m at university now, I’ve got a full-time job offer, self-teaching myself GCSEs and A-levels so I can take exams next summer, I’m also accepted into a law conversion degree.

After years of living with regret, I’m no longer feeling depressed about the future, I’m excited for the future. I’m changing myself and I can’t wait.

Hi,

Not sure if this makes sense or not.

I’m a mature student looking to teach myself some GCSEs and A-levels, I’m looking to teach myself maths (foundation first, higher if I get along with maths), history, politics, chemistry, biology and physics. For A-levels, English literature, English Language, History, Politics, Chemistry and Physics.

I’m not signing up to courses online as I feel the price tag is usually ridiculous, hence looking to self-teach. Im struggling on finding the requirements and specifications for each subject, I’m planning on taking it with the AQA exam board. If someone could point me in the right direction, I’d be grateful.

I (25F) have contamination OCD. I used to be scared of water and other things, I grew up with bad BO because I couldn’t stand things like toothpaste and stuff like that as it’s creamy and I couldn’t stop thinking about the amount of bacteria in there, even if I had my own washing kit I knew bacteria could multiply if I didn’t do certain rituals like hand washing.

I now have great hygiene, I wash twice a day and clean my teeth twice a day - you wouldn’t be able to tell I had bad BO in the past. But, I’m still scared of stuff like makeup and lotions. My family tell me I need to moisturise more and wear makeup, but I can’t be near that stuff. They once tried to force me to put on lotion and I had a massive freak out, they chased me round the room, tried to pin me down and I almost passed out from the stress and the thought of lotion being put on me.

Is having a fear of lotion and makeup normal? Is any of what I said normal? Or would some people consider this extreme OCD side?

I was diagnosed with dyslexia in January 2024 and my university paid for the assessment. I remember hating every single subject at school and left with no GCSEs or A-levels, I was 21 when I was bored and fell in love with academia again. I started uni at 22, diagnosed with dyslexia at 23.

Recently, I’ve been self-teaching myself GCSEs and A-levels and realised I may be a visual learner. Here’s what I don’t understand, I always hated maths as a teenager, but as an adult now. Since starting self-teaching myself maths, I’m instantly remembering every formula in my head, this is the same for physics, chemistry and biology. Has anyone experienced this?

I thought prose and poetry was my strength but apparently I was wrong. Has anyone else experienced this?

TL;DR: I made a difficult realisation yesterday that my family only makes contact with me when they need to “borrow” money or need something else from me, I’ve closed the bank of me for good, but I’m wondering if I should confront them and how I should deal with this situation.

This isn’t an easy one for me.

I (25F) am a full-time university student who also works full-time shift pattern, I have a job role not many people want to do and earn just over £30k a year, I’ve been working this job since before I started university and have never taken out a student loan. I commute too and from university as well as work, and I pay my tuition fees, after all this is paid, I’m left with 15kish a year, which is enough to pay my rent, bills and have enough money to live on for the month.

Since I started my job four-ish years ago, my family have been requesting to “borrow” money and say they’ll pay it back but never will, I’ve chased them up and they make excuses as to why they can’t pay it back or ignore me. I estimate I’ve lent them £3k-£4k since I started my job. I feel they only come to me because I have a decent salary and don’t have children.

Every morning, I wake up and whilst turning my phone on I always think “who needs to “borrow” money today?”, I didn’t realise it was a bad habit until yesterday, something just clicked in my head. I started scrolling through conversations I have with my relatives and it’s constantly “Can I borrow x amount and I’ll “pay” you back x date?”, they never do. It’s never “hey, how are you? Do you fancy a catch up?”, if I see it, it’s from my end trying to make a form of conversation with them.

I turned my phone on yesterday and my oldest sister messaged me asking me to “borrow” £50 and my middle sister requested to borrow £30. I only have £100.00 left until payday, more than enough to last me for the next two weeks, but they both said separately “I need the money”. I decided to ignore them and every hour since I get “are you transferring it?”, baring in mind I’ve told them I need to make money last and would only be left with £30.00.

I work full-time, I attend university full-time, doing 80 hours a week and other stuff in between, I maintain good grades and have put myself through university without relying on the government (nothing wrong with that). I’ve only got myself to rely on, whereas most people have parents who pay for their tuition fees. I’m trying my hardest to please my f@cking family but I’m failing. I’m so disappointed that I’m a human ATM.

To add, I have officially closed the bank of me, but I’m struggling with this realisation. I’m no longer allowing anyone to borrow money and will just ignore them until they go away, I fear this may make me an outcast from the family. I’m just unsure what to do with this situation, should I confront my relatives, or should I let this go? What would you recommend?

Signed,

An upset 25 year old who is trying her hardest at life.