u/ImpossibleSafety9323

If you know all those characters you’ll probably immediately get the dynamic I’m looking for :) If not though.. I’m basically a stubborn girl, looking for a guy who can soften my hardness (now that I’m typing that it sounds sus wtf 😭).

When not forcing myself to socialise like a rehabilitated cat, I like to spend a lot of my time alone (doing my hobbies and talking to myself like a lunatic) but if we do get close, I’ll probably psycho-analyse you, and rant about patriarchy and idk frogs maybe?? AND maybe I’ll do all this over the phone at 3am when we should both be sleeping? 😇
I think modern dating has killed romance, because wtf is a situationship? worship me or die 💀 no but like seriously.. what ever happened to 90s love? Enemies to lovers? Standing outside the window with a boombox? I’m literally just looking for a guy I can lovingly shove into a bush smh ❤️‍🩹
I do also want a friendship with you, where we can let our inner kids play and be silly and goofy (bridge to terabithia vibes without the sad ending thank youuu)
Wow I reference a lot of movies… anyone got letterboxd?
Nerdy, quiet and shy guys are my type, please don’t bother messaging if you’re emotionally unstable, fresh out of a relationship or seeking someone to fix you.
I’ve done a lot of self-reflection, I’m in therapy and I’m continuing to grow and I need someone who takes responsibility for themselves and actions too. Lets grow together 🌱

**My personal and possible dealbreakers:**
•I don’t want kids. I adore kids, I just think the world is too fucked up tbh and would only ever end up adopting, if that. Marriage is trickier, maybe one day if I trusted someone enough.
•I don’t work. I have chronic pain conditions and whilst I can physically do everything other people do, I have flare-ups and sometimes need to rest. This combined with my mental health and neurodivergence, means I cannot work. I get disability benefits (enough to support myself in life) and will probably never be able to work again. Its okay though, I am happy going about my usual daily things and working on my passions ✌️

**I’m looking for:**
•Someone who doesn’t get triggered over the word ‘feminism’. I’m big into activism (BLM, lgbtq+, human rights etc). Please be a kind person with actual morals, and if you ever say ‘not all men’ just don’t bother.
•Someone emotionally grounded and self-aware.
•Someone who is kind and honest (yes give me all the truth, things you’re ashamed of, secrets you have, dreams you’ve never spoken allowed 🙂‍↕️)
•Bonus points if you have facial hair, a dad bod or glasses 🫠

**About me:**
•Blonde (it is dyed, I am a retired ‘blue hair girl’) 😭
•5’7? I think??
•Plus size, bbw, fat ⚠️ I understand not everyone likes this body type and thats okay 🫶
•grey-ish eyes with glasses
•piercings and tattoos ⚠️
I have **a lot** of hobbies and interests! I love nerdy things, anything horror, Gaming, reading, photography, music, arts n crafts, makeup, writing, editing, music, history, herbology, collecting things! (It’s hard not going into a huge yap sesh here 😅).
👾📚📸🎶🎨💋📝🌿🌊🥀✨

Personality wise, I’ve been told I’m funny (it’s probably the trauma). I also love being whimsical and finding joy in the small things and moments. People have said I’m weird A LOT (I think this is the autism lol) I’m stubborn at times and 100% will call you out if I feel something is unfair, but I also can admit when I’m wrong and apologise. I care a lot, have a lot of empathy and am either very social and bubbly or in a corner being a wallflower and people-watching. Sometimes sarcastic, will definitely bully you as banter/flirting.
Try as a might to deny it, I am a hopeless romantic. I write poetry about love and love letters, I cry at the heartbreak movie scenes and I love cheesy stuff, even if I pretend to hate it. If I fall in love, it is deeply and painfully so. I’m not sure the gentle and pure kind of love even exists anymore, prove me wrong? 🙃

I know a lot of this post is serious, but I’ve been through a lot (trust takes time to delve deeper into this, don’t expect me to trauma dump, but also know I come with a lot of it) and so I’m learning to create bounderies and prioritise my mental health.
I hope we talk soon, I’m happy to exchange photos early on, and if maybe I’m not your cup of tea, good luck on your quest ✨

If you know all those characters you’ll probably immediately get the dynamic I’m looking for :) If not though.. I’m basically a stubborn girl, looking for a guy who can soften my hardness (now that I’m typing that it sounds sus wtf 😭).

When not forcing myself to socialise like a rehabilitated cat, I like to spend a lot of my time alone (doing my hobbies and talking to myself like a lunatic) but if we do get close, I’ll probably psycho-analyse you, and rant about patriarchy and idk frogs maybe?? AND maybe I’ll do all this over the phone at 3am when we should both be sleeping? 😇
I think modern dating has killed romance, because wtf is a situationship? worship me or die 💀 no but like seriously.. what ever happened to 90s love? Enemies to lovers? Standing outside the window with a boombox? I’m literally just looking for a guy I can lovingly shove into a bush smh ❤️‍🩹
I do also want a friendship with you, where we can let our inner kids play and be silly and goofy (bridge to terabithia vibes without the sad ending thank youuu)
Wow I reference a lot of movies… anyone got letterboxd?
Nerdy, quiet and shy guys are my type, please don’t bother messaging if you’re emotionally unstable, fresh out of a relationship or seeking someone to fix you.
I’ve done a lot of self-reflection, I’m in therapy and I’m continuing to grow and I need someone who takes responsibility for themselves and actions too. Lets grow together 🌱

My personal and possible dealbreakers:
•I don’t want kids. I adore kids, I just think the world is too fucked up tbh and would only ever end up adopting, if that. Marriage is trickier, maybe one day if I trusted someone enough.
•I don’t work. I have chronic pain conditions and whilst I can physically do everything other people do, I have flare-ups and sometimes need to rest. This combined with my mental health and neurodivergence, means I cannot work. I get disability benefits (enough to support myself in life) and will probably never be able to work again. Its okay though, I am happy going about my usual daily things and working on my passions ✌️

I’m looking for:
•Someone who doesn’t get triggered over the word ‘feminism’. I’m big into activism (BLM, lgbtq+, human rights etc). Please be a kind person with actual morals, and if you ever say ‘not all men’ just don’t bother.
•Someone emotionally grounded and self-aware.
•Someone who is kind and honest (yes give me all the truth, things you’re ashamed of, secrets you have, dreams you’ve never spoken allowed 🙂‍↕️)
•Bonus points if you have facial hair, a dad bod or glasses 🫠

About me:
•Blonde (it is dyed, I am a retired ‘blue hair girl’) 😭
•5’7? I think??
•Plus size, bbw, fat ⚠️ I understand not everyone likes this body type and thats okay 🫶
•grey-ish eyes with glasses
•piercings and tattoos ⚠️
I have a lot of hobbies and interests! I love nerdy things, anything horror, Gaming, reading, photography, music, arts n crafts, makeup, writing, editing, music, history, herbology, collecting things! (It’s hard not going into a huge yap sesh here 😅).
👾📚📸🎶🎨💋📝🌿🌊🥀✨

Personality wise, I’ve been told I’m funny (it’s probably the trauma). I also love being whimsical and finding joy in the small things and moments. People have said I’m weird A LOT (I think this is the autism lol) I’m stubborn at times and 100% will call you out if I feel something is unfair, but I also can admit when I’m wrong and apologise. I care a lot, have a lot of empathy and am either very social and bubbly or in a corner being a wallflower and people-watching. Sometimes sarcastic, will definitely bully you as banter/flirting.
Try as a might to deny it, I am a hopeless romantic. I write poetry about love and love letters, I cry at the heartbreak movie scenes and I love cheesy stuff, even if I pretend to hate it. If I fall in love, it is deeply and painfully so. I’m not sure the gentle and pure kind of love even exists anymore, prove me wrong? 🙃

I know a lot of this post is serious, but I’ve been through a lot (trust takes time to delve deeper into this, don’t expect me to trauma dump, but also know I come with a lot of it) and so I’m learning to create bounderies and prioritise my mental health.
I hope we talk soon, I’m happy to exchange photos early on, and if maybe I’m not your cup of tea, good luck on your quest ✨

I watched stand by me at the end of last year and boyyy did it make me sob. I don’t have a best friend or someone to talk to like I used to. Maybe it hurts more because I did have a best friend and no longer have them in my life. You know that saying ‘better to have it than lose it, than never to have it at all’ yeah its bullshit. I miss her, even if she fucked me over, I miss her.
I’m making friends again with new people, or trying to. But I tend to keep a distance, push away if needed. Its weird.. to desperately want connection but also being terrified of it because vulnerability means well.. being vulnerable.
I’ve been thinking about dating again recently, its almost been a year since I broke up with my ex. Feels weird to think there was a time I considered him not only a partner but a friend, even when he was actively abusing me. I’ve been healing a lot, going no contact with family members. But god its lonely. Its lonelyyyyy. Sitting and staring at the ceiling at almost 4am..
I felt lonely with him. I felt lonely with my best friend, and old friend group. I felt lonely in a room with my family. I’ve felt lonely my whole life.
But now they are all gone. And it’s bittersweet. Less active pain but more emptiness. It’s like this shadow following me around constantly. And the ache for connection grows but everytime I get close to someone I know they’ll leave. I start wondering when, its only a matter of time right? And in the meantime I pull away.. slowly..
The one who loves wins, because being alive and experiencing connection is always a win.
But what do you do when it goes? You have all these memories of nights and moments where the world was spinning because you were laughing so hard. And now the memories seem tainted because those people arent in your life anymore.
And they’ll probably fade too as I get older, slip away slowly. I wonder if the memory surgery in ‘eternal sunshine of a spotless mind’ existed, I would erase them. I don’t think I ever could. Even if now I know better, that they werent kind like friends should be, I still know that the version of me who believed they were always gonna be there for me, she’d want me to hold onto them. And now every time I go to make a new friend I brace for the aftershocks of the earthquake from before, I wonder if I’ll ever trust people again. I like having my own time, spending my time solitarily doing my hobbies. But sometimes this loneliness feels like running out of oxygen, so maybe one day I’ll just have to trust that good people exist.