u/Iamgonnatodieoneday

I'm 20. Whenever some discussion takes in my family.I clearly state that I'm not gonna to marry and have kids.

But they are like okay we will see in future.

You definitely will. Like what the man I'm damm serious why you all are saying you are too small to think about it.I'm thinking because sometimes I fear what if mind changes in future.

Like I'm trying to explain them what I feel i don't like this concept of kids why they are always say we will see later.

When I say I Will definitely not .At last they say you will have to not today but 10 years later.

Why mann why people don't understand.

You can bear pain .

I can't.

I really can't.

I'm serious.accept me what I'm. if today you don't accept me .Tommorow all people will interfere in my life.

From the birth I was never happy what in whole year most of time I feel like disgusting.

Somhow This concept of being cf helped me to regain calmness in my life thinking that I'm not gonna to put my child into this shit hole.

Decided to become CF.

So I'm 20 . I decided to be cf .It was long back when I thought about it but now i know I'm not gonna to have kids ever.

But i have fucked up my life.

My background- from where I'm you cannot deny to marriage and kids .

If you decided not to marriage and kids your life will be hell.literally I'm not joking. But I know I can't marry and have kids. Now I'm stuck with my family because of college. I'm in local college so I cannot move ever . placement is zero like wtf i have to live rest of my life here sometimes I think I can convince but I know .I will have to face hell if I don't move from here .Now I'm clueless don't know what to do .

I'm confused because of so many reasons.

I wanted to prepare for civil services but if I choose that path then I have to live rest of life here if I fail .and moving somewhere else then I have to choose another path literally I'm thinking i have messed up everything.