u/I_am_evil_homer911

I don't know who anyone is anyone more, and I'm not going through all that effort again to read it and track

I read all this shit again, assumed anything bad that applied to me was for me. Internalized what I knew was about me.

I just want y'all to know,

This was mild compared to the second half of any holiday party my family had growing up.

Thank you for all loathing and hate it feels good to be in the presence of humans again.

As for anything else, I'm sorry my head hurts I can decipher shit

I don't take compliments well and it could be my person and I wouldn't know because I start reading it and go nope not enough chaos and hate to be talking about me

Because everyone that loves me hates me they just happen to love me a more and then scale tips

I'm sorry for that I'm only human but choices are choices we will see what my choices show

Instead of breaking promises and being told they were empty

💌💌

I wish you all nothing but healing and growth.

I won't take this opportunity to speak in my defense or tell the whole story that so many conveniently have misplaced or left out.

I hold no grudges and do not seek retribution for anything addressed.

Do me a favor, or don't it's not a demand.

It would be nice if you didn't conveniently leave out any positive impact or any way I contributed value to your life.

Tell the whole story, not to stroke my ego but to give yourself credibility and give the heaviness of the negative real weight.

I don't need to speak on it because it doesn't need validation. I've done some bogus fucked up shut, and I don't need to make excuses. That doesn't mean the positive contributions just never happened.

They may have crossed each other out in the moral equation.

That doesn't change what I've done for those who have grievances.

It doesn't change most those people at some point had to be apart of my life and benefit or how would their grievances even exist? How would they be close enough to me for interaction?

Regardless of what they say it happened and I'm not avoiding rather letting them heal and embrace their truth. I respect that

If they don't want to remember that's fine it's doesn't change the past.

Good or bad. It all happened regardless of validation or perception.

I am at my house, I am in my yard with my dogs. I am being present and if anyone has anything they want to discuss I am open to dialogue and a conversation.

Don't worry, I don't take anything here personal. I can actually laugh at myself.

I want to make sure I make it clear that I'm in no danger to myself or anyone else.

I have no Ill intent and I absolutely will not in any way shape or form resort to violence.

I would appreciate anything you have to say get it off your chest.

Say it behind the mask as disrespectful as possible and I would ask if no one tried to come to my defense.

I am sure I deserve harsh words, and after all they are only words.

I've said worse to myself in my best moments.

I have a lot of positive things to say about alot of people who have had major impact on my life. I'll share with them in the same space I share my negative thoughts and just as openly.

I will make sure to the tell them in person so they know it's how I feel and they can hear the emotion and conviction in my voice when I speak.

Call it avoidance but I call it embracing the bond and I call it also saving myself a case.

After all ask yourself, if it came down to it wouldn't you be lining up to testify against me?

I love the ones I love.

I hate the ones I hate.

Doesn't matter which side of the fence your on I respect your right to speak your truth and say what you have to say.

Enjoy the day, be present.

Enjoy the weather after all we don't get much spring and summer.

Enjoy your time here with your family friends pets and children.

Life is a gift and nothing can guarantee it's a gift you get tomorrow and we can't live it twice.

I'm here, I don't plan on going any where and. For once no ones going to have to shut me up but if you don't like me living well kill me.

Don't call me, don't try to speak anonymously here. After all I have everyone's mask pinned it only took me a couple months.

You want a discussion it doesn't have to be a debate it can be a conversation but it will be direct or it's not communication.

Otherwise avoid me or love me.

(And the fake pages and pretending to be me actually was pretty funny. I needed that laugh thank you fr)

Hey this is door dash, do I have the right address? Where do I go I don't want to disrupt the wrong house .

Thanks for always showing love. I mean that fr THANK YOU.

You've probably thrown me more life lines than anyone I know.

Thank you for keeping a roof over my head and feeding me even when I dont need food on my plate. You ain't forcing me to take it but you make it clear not to let opportunities go to waste.

I appreciate every time you threw me a life line or kept me afloat with nothing to gain.

You're one of the few people who check on me instead of checking for me.

Not many people know the difference..

Appreciate you never switching or treating me differently no matter what type of BS and still not switching sides

Appreciate you always defending my name, hearing me out then laughing and telling me FUUIUUCK THEM but also telling me when I'm wrong

you're one of the few who can and I listen

I appreciate you being like a big brother to me even tho youre not my brother you always treated me like one

Naw fuck that you are family and always have been it's like you signed yourself up on day 1 and adopted me

I won't go on a rant like I tend to because I know you'll tell me it's all good or it's nothing..

plus your like me you don't take praise well because to us it's just us and that's what we do

Just had to let you know that naw it's not nothing and yes it's major to me because you never had to do shit for me but you do

Appreciate you

Edit wasn't talking down on anyone was saying thank you but here you can't say thank you without others taking it personal like you aren't thankful for them because you said thank you to someone else yeah I won't be saying shit else here 🫨🫨🫨

It should have ended at ..

"Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems. And when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on. Remember that. Money isn't real, {name}. Doesn't matter. It only seems like it does "

I promised my self I'd never let that ending be my own, fuck no. That's worse than death, that's worse hell on earth. That's no way to live. You know? Well you might not know but you could imagine.

No, I am not speaking to you.

I swear you don’t know me.

I don’t need a mask here; they separate identity and thought.

This is a place of infinite plots.

No, this is where the shadow people live, but they are not those lurking shadows.

They are harmless, just like them, except these shadows speak.

They’ll tell you whatever you want to hear

and still destroy your nerves. We all take pit stops there, but it’s all in our own minds that’s the real destination.

It can also make you lose your mind when you visit the void.

And if you scream into it loud enough, it answers.