I want to apologize for how bad this all reads. It is getting late and I am stressed out.
I am gonna include a ton of details and leave it to you guys to determine if it’s relevant. So to start off I(25m) split up with my soon to be ex-wife(26f) back in 2020. We have remained married since. Together we have a 7 year old daughter. Whom up until 2025 I saw every other weekend or at least tried to. When we split our daughter stayed with her as I was trying to get my life together and I also moved around a lot for work. I willingly on my own accord paid child support to her without a court order. Between 2020 and 2023 she birthed 2 more children from a different man. Over past couple of years leading up to 2024 I tried to divorce from her 2 times however I kept getting push back from her and it never went through. At some point in late 2022 she was misinformed on how much I got paid per month and demanded more money and I denied her the extra money. She then decided to sue for child support. That was back around September of 2023. December of 2023 my family reported that she was neglecting her children including my daughter and abusing drugs(meth). This started to make sense during the times I saw my daughter on the weekends as there were signs. My now girlfriend is a mandated reporter and we decided to submit a cps report. Didn’t hear anything back from it. While our daughter was in kindergarten she missed almost a full month of school spread across the school semester. Hearing this I was devastated. At this point it was April 2024 and I decided to get a lawyer that was recommended by a friend of a friend. I was in fear of my daughter’s safety and wanted to ensure her safety. We had our first emergency hearing not too soon after that. Judge dismissed it stating that “if it was an emergency it should have been brought up in December “. At this time as well we found out that she had been investigated from December to April by cps and they started regular drug testing(which she failed for meth 2 times). A month out from the emergency hearing we had a regular hearing where the court got to hear all the facts of the case. The judge at this time ruled that I would have temporary physical custody. Shortly after that a Guardian was appointed to the case as well. The Guardian did their investigation and we had another hearing a few months later. The guardian’s recommendation was in my favor for continuing the temporary physical custody. My daughter has since been with me and my girlfriend and has been prospering. When my daughter came to our house at the beginning of the school year she was very behind and struggling. We have since then improved her academics and gotten her enrolled in extracurricular activities. There were some other issues when she came to us such as self confidence issues, slight obesity, and trauma as you might expect. We have tackled a bunch of that.
So here is the real what do I do: My lawyer is about $450 an hour. I don’t make a ton and what I do make goes directly towards bills. Since this custody battle I have gained roughly 60k in debt from loans to pay my lawyer. If it matters I make 75k a year. So my debt to income ratio wasn’t great to start off with due to being upside down on a car and still upside down on it. We are nearing the last hearing. My past due amount is about 2k and I have an evergreen trust with her where each month the account needs to have 5k in it. So I owe her an extra 5k on top of the 2k. I have multiple loans that I have opened with different lenders(not the smartest move I know… I just didn’t know how much I would need going into all this). I have asked family to cosign and even with a cosigner I am not able to get another loan to pay for this upcoming hearing legal representation. I have talked to my lawyer about payment plans and just in general my financial situation. However sympathy or understanding seems to be lacking. Of course my lawyer also advises against not having legal representation despite the guardian still feeling like my home is the best place for my daughter to be. I am just not sure how to wrap this up and ensure the best outcome for my daughter and I. Please feel free to ask follow up questions as I know I left out details. I just don’t know what to say anymore.