u/Heavy-Bench-5378

Been a rough ride for a few weeks now. Last Thursday, I had to literally pull my son out of a fistfight in a practice with his 2nd team (has a guest spot on a 13u roster for another club). He's not yet 13, is going through puberty, but has now become way too confrontation. Like he loses control once practice or a game gets heated. 2 weeks ago, he called out a 14 year old from another team for petty comments he made against my son when he missed a shot at warm ups. Other kids would have let their game do the talking, whereas my son is ready to duke it out.

He's been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD.

Could it be the kids we're around? We're in Southern California and as my son has moved up the ranks playing for more competitive clubs/circuits, he's around a lot more Black kids (we live in a majority white neighborhood), we have to drive out of town for both his clubs, as we get to know the families, we learned that some of these kids' Dad's are not around, others have Dads that are pretty confrontational themselves. Doesn't excuse my son's lack of emotional regulation, but can it be that basketball is this way? Race is not the issue but maybe culture is? My wife is has a Black mom and White dad, I'm Mexican, so we're a diverse family, but my wife was the first to point out that some of these kids come from the hood or their families are ghetto, her Dad told her... do not take Sebastian back to the team out in Perris, those kids are ghetto, that's why he got punched, he doesn't know how to behave around them.

I have zero experience as a hooper, despite being 6'3", I had no vertical so I stuck with football back in the 90's when I played HS ball.

I am a 43 year old American, live in Southern California. Blessed with 2 amazing kids, and have another adult child that got into some pretty messed up things: drugs, alcohol, and got mixed up with some bad people. My youngest daughter is going places, attends Church every Sunday, with me, and just always seems to overachieve. My Son, well he has a huge heart, gifted athlete, but quite impulsive, hadn't been to Church in a while, but today, he did join my daughter and I.

I have a very attractive and sweet wife. However, perimenopause has hit her very hard. We've been together since we were both young, but now at 43, she's like a different person. Cries a lot, seems depressed at times, takes meds for the symptoms but nothing seems to really fix her issues.

My elderly mom has issues, when she got off her anti depressant, she got worse. I feel bad fro my Dad, he's had to carry that cross for 5 decades.

I must celebrate my two healthy kids while I mourn the lost kid that torched her life and mental health. I also must decide if my marriage is worth saving or if I should cut my losses. My wife and I have become roommates, it happened over the course of 5 years, very gradually.

Just wanted to share my story. Some areas are great, some are not... such as finances, I am quite well-off, real estate, other assets, my business... all booming, plus I am tall (6'3"), and athletic, but also very very stuck in my family life/ at home, I'm not in a good place at all.

I’m struggling after a brief, painful encounter with my 19-year-old daughter. Her life has been marked by early trauma—she only learned I was her father at 14 after being raised in an abusive household. She lived with me for two years, making great progress and even joining the Catholic faith, but things spiraled when she met a troubled/drug addicted, underaged boy deep into satanic occult and in a death metal band.

After a volatile exit from my home, where she called 911 and accused me of hitting her, admitted to police she made it up for a fast police response, she went no-contact and asked me, in writing, not to find her. Since then, I’ve watched from a distance as she fell into drug use, lost her savings, and became even more isolated after her bf dumped her.

This past Sunday, I saw her a few pews back at Mass. She looked unwell—gaunt and unkempt—and slipped out before it ended. My heart is shattered. I am praying constantly, but as a father, the feeling of helplessness is overwhelming.

Have any other parents navigated these waters? Can a child who has fallen this far find their way back on their own? I’m looking for hope and perspective from those who have been through the "prodigal child" journey.

I've posted here about her a few times, some folks here have also prayed for her. She's troubled and left home at 18 to date a satanist boy (minor) and get high/drunk. Had completely cut off Church, and everyone else, from family to friends. Catechists, Parish Staff, my family, family friends all have prayed for her. My youngest daughter and I were at Mass yesterday evening where I glanced a few Pews behind us and there was my 19 year old daughter attending Mass. My little one didn't spot her, she gets really into Mass and tunes everything out. She did not look the same as I remembered her, unhealthy, hair dyed in a weird pattern and unkept. She did not walk up to receive communion despite having completed her Catholic initiation last year, when I glanced back when I came back from Communion, she had her head down as she kneeled, not sure if she did so to avoid being seen by my little one and I or if she was praying. I'd like to think she was speaking with God. I know she has a long and difficult road ahead to turn her life around, but if she can head to the confessional one day, and continue to seek out God, maybe she can break the cycle her mom and grandma never could. It is in God's hands.

What I found surprising is that she chose the Church we always attend, she did not head to the Catholic church closest to where she stays (I know the general area), which would have been much closer. All I can offer her is continued prayers, last time we spoke, she nearly had me arrested, I am fortunate the police got the truth out of her, but she's too unwell for me to risk being around. God will need to care for her, he's the only one that can as she's gone no contact with any positive influences she had.

I wanted to post this to maybe inspire others whom have lost hope to continue praying. For my daughter, the only one that can help her get clean, sober, and on the right path is Christ.