u/HappyMarriageHusband

I’ve been working hard on not being defensive when my wife brings up chores, but man, sometimes my face reacts before my brain does. She caught me 'eye-rolling' a couple of days ago even though I didn't think I did it.

I understand that most of the time my subconscious is just reacting to the interruption of my train of thought, not the actual ask, so I'm trying to understand which tactic could work to handle that split-second physical reaction when you're frustrated so you don't accidentally start a fight over nothing.

I’ve been working hard on not being defensive when my wife brings up chores, but man, sometimes my face reacts before my brain does. She caught me 'eye-rolling' a couple of days ago even though I didn't think I did it.

I understand that most of the time my subconscious is just reacting to the interruption of my train of thought, not the actual ask, so I'm trying to understand which tactic could work to handle that split-second physical reaction when you're frustrated so you don't accidentally start a fight over nothing.

TL;DR: Working on not being defensive about chores with my wife, but my face betrays me before my brain catches up. Looking for tips to control that split-second physical reaction before it starts an unnecessary fight.

Work gets 100% of me, and by the time I'm home with her, I’m just a ghost on the couch. The kids are grown and mostly doing their own thing, so it’s just me and my wife at home in the evenings. You’d think that would be easier, but honestly, I’ve been coming home like a total zombie. I don't want her getting the leftovers of my energy for the next 20 years.

I’ve been working hard on not being defensive when my wife brings up chores, but man, sometimes my face reacts before my brain does. She caught me 'eye-rolling' yesterday even though I didn't think I did it.

How do you guys handle that split-second physical reaction when you're frustrated so you don't accidentally start a fight over nothing?