u/GuitarZealousideal71

A few years ago my B12 levels were 83pg/ml and vitamin D was 4.2. I was lethargic the whole time, depressed, could not do anything for months. I could not wake up and study, I could not make myself do anything, could not do any household chores and I didn’t even work.

My family used to get really angry, used to call me lazy and all that. They used to say you are just wasting your time, but the thing is I did not feel like doing anything. I was just existing.

Were my deficiencies making me act this way or was I just dramatic and lazy?

I wanna know so cause I got diagnosed recently and my mind is a mess.

It hangs a lot. Sometimes audio will keep repeating, then other times, camera will hang. Phone in general hangs a LOT.

I still have lots of space left and I am not even a heavy user, like I don’t play games or anything but still this happens.

Camera also sucks. The picture quality is so bad. My oneplus phone had a better camera than this. I am so disappointed.

Everyone around me is doing really well at 25. I don’t see any one of my friends struggling and so I don’t know who to talk to. My own partner is doing extremely well and we are of the same age. I’m just struggling and suffering.

I recently got diagnosed with adhd and depression and I am unmedicated cause my psychiatrist thought I can manage as long as I’m not thinking of killing myself. Makes no sense.

I see everyone around me joining good govt jobs, big4 firms, making 20lpa, settling abroad and what not. I used to be a very hard working and ambitious person but I don’t know what happened in the last few years.

I’m unemployed and the only thing I could manage in the these years is clearing NET JRF. I don’t know if even getting a PhD is going to work out for me.

I feel so lost while I see everyone around me living a good life. I can’t even share all of this with my husband because I don’t want to burden him. He loves me a lot and I don’t want him to see me like this.

I’m scared of applying for jobs, scared of going for interviews( because in my mind, I always assume I will be rejected), scared of working, scared of running a home and I’m even scared of sitting for PhD interviews despite clearing UGC NETJRF.

I used to be scared of driving that I never learnt it until now. Now I find it so easy and I love doing it also.

I’m scared of interacting with people, I fear going dor family gathering because I will they see me like a failure. I feel that my fear, procrastination and laziness has made me a failure. I had never imagined myself in this state cause I was a very motivated and ambitious person. I used to be top of class in school and college. Cleared net in masters itself. I used to be a much better person but suddenly, at 25 I find myself way behind everyone else in life.

I recently got diagnosed and despite diagnosis I am unmedicated cause the psychiatrist I went to refused to prescribe me meds.

I am falling apart everday ever since college ended.