u/GothMoleRat

Long story short, I didn’t grow up around my half brother and don’t really even know who he was until he moved in with our mom when he was 17 and I was 13, from there he’d start to sexually abuse me until the age of 18 due to him being extremely physically violent (chasing me with knives, strangling me almost unconscious, pointing guns at me, etc.) to keep me from speaking out, but that’s besides the point.

My curiously is how common is it that a sibling sexually abuses another sibling? Is sibling sexual abuse treated any differently from other sexual abuse cases? How would I even begin to have this conversation with a therapist?

So my friend (20F) is currently on her second year of college and is already going through it rough. She was already the person to struggle throughout high school and I too fell in that same boat. Both of us were the people to barely pass with a 3.0 on a good day and both of us came from backgrounds of which we struggled in schools due to rough home lives and constant moving. So when she originally came out about how she’s going to college for Radiology I gave a bunch of benefit of the doubt, since she always mentioned how I’m doing pre law and have an easy 3.95 GPA, so it isn’t impossible for someone to struggle in high school and then succeed in college.

Well here’s the thing, she’s failed basically all of her classes to this point and although on her second year, she has gotten almost nowhere. Here’s just a basic list so far…

-She failed the basic intro to college class because she refused to do the work and argued with the professor about how useless it is and how she doesn’t want to think that far ahead about her future.
-She’s failed Chemistry twice now and is on her third time since she refused to listen to her guidance counselor and even argue with them until they kicked her out of their office since the counselor mentioned she needed a B in Chemistry to pass with her major, not a D-
-She barely passed English because she don’t want to do the final project since she doesn’t like writing scientific essays
-She failed human biology and couldn’t even barely name basic bones in the body like the femur and then argued with the professor about them being bias towards her since she has dyslexia and can’t be expected to remember bones.
-The literal only 3 classes she’s passed with A’s were all Welding classes, that’s it.

I do care about her, but watching her sit there and kick and scream about how she’s going to go to medical school and be a doctor when she can’t handle any form of authority or pressure has been a dumpster fire. So a couple of nights ago I flat out told her I really think she should just do welding, she seems to like it, it’s a good paying job, it’s high demand, etc. her response? “No, I’m going to be a doctor and make good money and have nobody tell me what to do again”. At this point I finally got so fed up with this happening again and again I flat out told her, “No, you aren’t. You’re failing all of your classes, being a doctor doesn’t mean you can do whatever, it’s years of education and being told what to do for the rest of your life, if you can’t even follow basic instructions now then there’s no way you’re being a doctor. It won’t kill you to maybe do something easier”. From here she blew up about my degree choices and how I’ll never get into law, etc, etc. For the last few days she’s doubled down a lot more on how she’s going to be a doctor and prove everyone wrong, particularly me. So AITA for telling her she shouldn’t be a doctor?

I know I should hate my brother, he started raping me when I was 13 and he was 18, having just moved in from his bio dads house into our moms house. This would continue for years, years until I was 18 and he finally got kicked out of our moms house for refusing to get a job or an education and laying around the house all day drinking and playing video games.

I should hate him, he was an extremely physically violent and manipulative person who tormented me for years. But that’s the thing, I can’t even be mad at him. I have to see him at every family reunion, I have to hear his voice whenever I call my parents since he now lives with our moms house again, I honestly have accepted the fact that he’ll never leave my life and I’ll always be made to deal with him and play pretend like everything is normal. I can’t even hate him, just feel a deep sense of sadness whenever I think of him, and can only blame myself for years of never telling anyone about what he’s done to me and still to this day being too afraid to do anything legally about him out of fear of hurting the lives of my other family members in the process.