u/Gh0stGirl0013

I (29f) live in an upstairs apartment in a no smoking community. For further reference, on the main door to the building is a no-smoking sign with a number to call for violations. I also had to sign to no-smoking clause in my lease that states you can be evicted for smoking in your apartment.

My down stairs neighbor (40s-50s m) very clearly smokes inside. You can clearly smell it when walking past his door, which is impossible not to do as his door us right next to the only staircase. It even comes up into my apartment through the pipes and through the cabinets. I cannot have my windows open either or I will get whiffs of cigarette smoke that lingers for 10-15mins. Both me and my boyfriend are getting tired of our apartment smelling like cigarettes despite neither of us being smokers. I believe he has been reported before, as the complex has sent out multiple community-wide texts stating that smoking inside is a direct violation of the lease.

So... would I be the ahole if I reported him to the landlord or calling the number on the no-smoking sign?

I (29f) had knee surgery in March due to an injury that occurred at work. I stayed with my mom for a week after surgery to get settled in with figuring out my new medical devices and everything else associated with the surgery. When I returned home, initially we swapped sides of the bed due to fear that my partner (33m), who is a VERY active sleeper (and NEEDS to be tested for sleep apnea, which I have a suspicion is the reason for all the wild activities while he is asleep), would accidentally kick me in his sleep. In our normal sleeping arrangement, my injured side is right in the “kick zone.” As I healed, we switched back and that fear quickly became reality because he will unintentionally kick my injured side on a nightly basis. I kind of put up with it for awhile since he works nights and I typically only have to put up with it for a few hours since I typically wake up a few hours after he goes to bed. However, lately this has been severely impacting my sleep because once he gets home and goes to bed, I toss and turn with anxiety that he will kick my injured leg again so I have been getting about half of the good sleep that my body needs to heal. So this morning, I suggested we switch sides again. He got kind of bent out of shape, but not angry, saying he doesn't understand why we need to do this, that he doesn't mean to be violent in his sleep, and that if we do this we should switch all the items to the opposite nightstands as well (lamp, phone chargers, etc.). I told him this was not necessary since both sides have the exact same charger and while our clocks are different brands, they work the same and I typically have been waking him up for work anyway. He kind of shut down after that and seemed upset, but walked away to work on his laptop before bed and let me go back to sleep. We did switch sides today, but haven't switched any of the nightstand contents, and I got the best sleep I have in weeks.

I feel like I may have overreacted a bit in asking him to switch sides of the bed because of my knee surgery, but I am very tired of sitting awake anxious that I will get my already injured leg kicked while he is sleeping and I don't see why he wants to switch the contents of our nightstands since they are basically the same and it would only be for a few more weeks to maybe a month.

Side Note: we had this conversation while he was tired, and he is the type of person where he absolutely cannot process anything while tired and completely shuts down. So, maybe I need to revisit this while he is more awake?

Edit to mention: During the process of surgery/post op, I finished a year-long taper of coming off of my anxiety meds (generally didn't need them anymore, but the tapering process causes h3lla increased anxiety whether you need them or not), so I am legitimately not sure if I'm truly overreacting or if its just meds withdrawal making me nutty.

I (29f) had knee surgery in March following a dislocation injury right after Valentines Day. I have a decent amount of bend back and am mostly weight-bearing, but it gets tired very quickly. The lack of sex due to my injury has been rough on my partner and I's relationship. Masturbating is fine, but I am anxious about having sex again. I know I am probably able to "Do the do" again, but I am very anxious about it due to fear of repeating the injury.

Anyone have any advise for getting back at it after surgery? Obviously, any position with me on my knees or where my knee could get hit is 100% off limits.