u/Funny-Shopping5035

Hi everyone, I really need some perspective.

I have been in a long-distance relationship for a few years now. I live in the UK, and my partner lives abroad. We are planning for me to move and join him in a couple of months. For a long time, I told him I hoped he would propose before we moved so I would be a fiancée and not just a girlfriend when I decide to travel halfway across the world for him.

Recently, he has been confusing me by saying the proposal could be in December, and I think he’s been trying to throw me off. I always thought that was too far off, and I joked about it with him. But today, when I spoke to his mom, she mentioned that he told her he would propose soon and bring me back as his fiancée. She then said, “You know this, right?” and “Or have I ruined this?” I told her I didn’t know anything, and then she tried to downplay it afterward, but I can’t help but feel like now I know too much.

I am a very organized person, so I always had a little hope in my mind that it might happen sooner in London, and I did express this to him a few times in the past, but it was never confirmed.

My partner is not the best planner. He is very last minute, so I don’t know if he already set anything up. I really don’t want his effort to go to waste if I tell him his mom said this and he then changes things up to keep me surprised. He also loves the surprise element, and knowing would mean he’d probably have to change everything, so I am torn.

On one hand, I would love the proposal now, and I don’t want him to lose any time or money if he planned something, but it also means I won’t really be surprised because now I know.

On the other hand, if I say something, it probably means I won’t get proposed to now because he’ll want to keep the surprise element.

Part of me wants to tell him so he can put his mother in her place, but another part of me feels like if I don’t say anything, she just gets away with ruining the surprise element for me. At the same time, if I stay quiet, my partner still gets to do what he originally planned, and it won’t be ruined for him.

So WIBTAH if I told him his mom accidentally spoiled the proposal plans for me?

Hi everyone, I (27F) have been in a long-distance relationship with my partner (28M) for a few years now. I live in the UK, and he lives abroad. We are planning for me to move and join him in a couple of months. For a long time, I told him I hoped he would propose before we moved so I would be a fiancée and not just a girlfriend when I decide to travel halfway across the world for him.
Recently, he has been confusing me by saying the proposal could be in December, and I think he’s been trying to throw me off. I always thought that was too far off, and I joked about it with him. But today, when I spoke to his mom, she mentioned that he told her he would propose soon and bring me back as his fiancée. She then said, “You know this, right?” and “Or have I ruined this?” I told her I didn’t know anything, and then she tried to downplay it afterward, but I can’t help but feel like now I know too much.
I am a very organized person, so I always had a little hope in my mind that it might happen sooner in London, and I did express this to him a few times in the past, but it was never confirmed.
My partner is not the best planner. He is very last minute, so I don’t know if he already set anything up. I really don’t want his effort to go to waste if I tell him his mom said this and he then changes things up to keep me surprised. He also loves the surprise element, and knowing would probably mean he’d have to change everything he originally planned.
At the same time, now that I know, I feel like part of the surprise element has already been taken away for me. If I stay quiet, he still gets to go ahead with whatever he originally wanted to do, but I’ll probably spend the next few months expecting it. If I tell him, I feel like he’ll completely change the timing or plans to make it unexpected again, which probably means it won’t happen in London like I had hoped.
Part of me also feels frustrated with his mom because I genuinely think she let something slip that she shouldn’t have. But I also don’t want to create unnecessary drama between them if saying nothing is the better option.
For people who have had a surprise spoiled before, how did you handle it without ruining the moment for your partner? Would you bring it up now, or just let the proposal happen the way it was originally planned?

Hi everyone, I (27F) have been in a long-distance relationship with my partner (28M) for a few years now. I live in the UK, and he lives abroad. We are planning for me to move and join him in a couple of months. For a long time, I told him I hoped he would propose before we moved so I would be a fiancée and not just a girlfriend when I decide to travel halfway across the world for him.
Recently, he has been confusing me by saying the proposal could be in December, and I think he’s been trying to throw me off. I always thought that was too far off, and I joked about it with him. But today, when I spoke to his mom, she mentioned that he told her he would propose soon and bring me back as his fiancée. She then said, “You know this, right?” and “Or have I ruined this?” I told her I didn’t know anything, and then she tried to downplay it afterward, but I can’t help but feel like now I know too much.
I am a very organized person, so I always had a little hope in my mind that it might happen sooner in London, and I did express this to him a few times in the past, but it was never confirmed.
My partner is not the best planner. He is very last minute, so I don’t know if he already set anything up. I really don’t want his effort to go to waste if I tell him his mom said this and he then changes things up to keep me surprised. He also loves the surprise element, and knowing would probably mean he’d have to change everything he originally planned.
At the same time, now that I know, I feel like part of the surprise element has already been taken away for me. If I stay quiet, he still gets to go ahead with whatever he originally wanted to do, but I’ll probably spend the next few months expecting it. If I tell him, I feel like he’ll completely change the timing or plans to make it unexpected again, which probably means it won’t happen in London like I had hoped.
Part of me also feels frustrated with his mom because I genuinely think she let something slip that she shouldn’t have. But I also don’t want to create unnecessary drama between them if saying nothing is the better option.
For people who have had a surprise spoiled before, how did you handle it without ruining the moment for your partner? Would you bring it up now, or just let the proposal happen the way it was originally planned?