Like i said
(pls dont comment until you see the last paragraphs)!!!
Assalamu alaykum. Hope everyone doing great. So straight to the point. Ive been lately serious about marriage after now the end of education is near. But im not sure how to chose exactly thats why i posted to get opinions from older muslims who has more knowledge and experience
Ive never really developped feelings for any girl. As my feelings and energy were directed towards improving myself mentally and physically and skills. So i knew some like 5 girls who like i know well from different places (uni, gym, quran events)
Two of them are very attractive. One of em kind of seems to have big ego. She talks about other girls like she s better than them all and she s one of a kind (but tbh she has the looks. She doesnt really seem like she has foundation of islam. She is born muslim. But her religious part i dont really have informations on). The other one have looks and have great foundation of islam. But has a little of manipulative charactere . Tbh they both give that excitement and fun atmosphere
The other one i know has the looks and has that atmosphere of peace and calmness around her (i dont really know her very well. As she is not a yapper)
The last two i knew in a quran event. Are the only hijabis. They have great foundation of islam tbh. But i don't have alot of informations about .
So idk how to chose really and i dont wanna rush anything. I mean this is a lifetime thing.
Or should i just marry them all and make the 4th and 5th play rock paper scisoros for the 4th place (lol joking. Chill)
Like i said i didnt develop anyfeeling for any of them. I can like someone but clearly i dont love any girl outside marriage. Bcs in my personall opinion you cant love anyone yet if you dont live under the same roof as them. And see the real faces
I was never a fan of apps or arranged marriaged. As i never wanted to marry someone idk or someone to chose a spouse for me. (thats just a personal opinion)
Yes i know some would say why are you scounting them like they re champions league midfielders.
And some say there is a chance they wouldnt accept you. Is brother superman or what ?. Im aware. In fact no one even know if he going to live next day so why think alot (that words i got from brothers who work at funerals) . And like i said i can like someone but i dont love anyone. As i dont think love isnt something until you live under the same walls. And live in the thin and thick (that was just my personal analyze. I dont know anyone 100% and allah knows best)
I really want to hear from older muslims who got married. Or in general i would love advices and different point of views. Jazzakumu allahu khayran
Namima/ghiba is the worst thing.
Alot of muslims do it and make it like no big deal. From my own experience. My family parted because of it. Like would u care or talk about someone else. Just mind your buisness and talk about yourself and your family. That person u going to namima or ghiba on. If u are a decent man or women go to him and talk and resolve conflicts like decent people.
Literally my family hates me for always telling this i tell them dont speak about people. If u have something talk to him in person. I dont and no one want to hear about a person isnt with us.
And i go and call the person they targeting on phone (not to tell him. But to ask about him and greating him)
A huge red flag and deal breaker for me as a guy if i wanted to marry is like a women that likes to know and get informations on other people and talk about them in their absence. Thats a huge insecurity and u show urself as no decent person.
My whole family is seperated bcs of this
"oh the wife of fulan came to me as a guest and didnt help me in kitchen and acting arrogant like showing that this house belongs to her son or brother"
"oh she didnt help in kitchen either when i was there"
Oh the husband of fulan is rich and doesnt spend on his wife. His mother hates his wife
"oh he did this he did that. She did this. She did that"
MIND YOUR OWN BUISNESS AND FAMILY. THIS IS A HUGE SIN.
IF ITS SOMETHING HARMING YOU. GO TALK TO THE PERSON. IF YOU CANT THEN CLOSE YOUR MOUTH.
Also another important point. Dont be like oh this person didnt help me why would i. Oh he is bad. Why would i be good.
U do not do good for the sake of him. Do it for the sake of allah. And im sure allah will reward you big.
He didnt help you. Then help him/her
He talked bad about you. Talk good about him/her
He dont visit you. Then visit him /her.
This dunya is just a station. Pls do better. And forgive me if i talked rough. May allah guide and help us all