I recently found out my ex went back to his ex before me, and I’m having a hard time making sense of it.
I came across messages between them (kind of self induced scenario as I receive some of his messages on my iPad) and it’s pretty clear now that he was never fully over her. While we were together, he was telling her things like he never stopped thinking about her, that no one made him feel the same way, and that he’d been miserable trying to move on.
What’s really messing with me is how things ended between us. It felt like he just kind of… threw me away. No real explanation, no proper conversation, no closure. And now seeing all of this, it feels like I was part of something I didn’t even understand at the time.
I keep coming back to, what was I then? I do think he cared about me on some level, but it’s hard not to feel like I was just filling a space while he was still emotionally attached to someone else. And now that he’s gone back, it makes everything feel almost inevitable.
I’m struggling with a few things:
Do you think someone in that position is actually capable of loving someone new?
Has anyone else realized after the fact that they were basically a rebound or placeholder?
How do you move on when you never got closure, and then later find out there was more going on behind the scenes? I feel like I’m never going to get over this guy. :/
Logically I know this probably says more about him than me, but emotionally it’s been hard not to compare myself or feel like I wasn’t enough.
Would really appreciate hearing from people who’ve been through something similar.