u/Forsaken-Water6243

My boyfriend masturbates a lot to porn but doesn’t really have sex with me unless I ask for it. Throughout our relationship it’s been a cycle of me telling him I want to have sex and things will start up again but it always dies out. I don’t feel like he has much desire for sex and it’s making me question if this is a relationship I want to be in. I wish I had a bf that would like to have sex. I feel like my bf forces himself to do it with me which is not good.

I’m starting to feel really disrespected in my relationship. I had a situation with my boyfriend today that didn’t sit right with me at all and the more I think about it the more angry I get. We were hanging out at his place cuddling on the couch while he watched TV. Then he suggested we go upstairs so we did and had sex for a bit. Then he pulls out his phone and starts watching porn and masturbating while I’m literally right there next to him. I felt completely pushed aside and kind of disrespected. After that we had sex again but then he completely shut off. No talking, no affection nothing. He just got up sat in his chair and started watching videos on his phone ignoring me. So I got the message and started getting dressed to leave. As I was walking out all he said was “close the door.” Then later he calls me upset that I didn’t tell him I was leaving?? Like… what was I supposed to think? He was ignoring me didn’t say anything to me and clearly seemed done with me being there. What really bothers me is this isn’t even a one time thing. When we stayed together for a week before he would literally go into another room to watch porn and masturbate while I was there. And in general, he masturbates a lot. It’s not even the masturbation that really bothers me it’s the porn. It feels like he’d rather do that than actually be present with me. I’m starting to feel like I’m competing with his phone and porn for attention and it’s making me feel unwanted and disrespected. At this point I don’t even want to have sex with him anymore because the whole situation has started to make me feel uncomfortable and kind of turned off by the way he acts. I don’t know. I feel so frustrated.

I had weird experience with my boyfriend today and now I’m confused about whether I handled it wrong.

We were hanging out at his place. At first we just cuddled on the couch while he watched TV, which was fine. Then he said he wanted to go upstairs (aka let’s have sex) so we went upstairs and had sex for a little bit. Then he pulls out his phone and started watching porn and masturbating while I was literally right there next to him which made me feel pushed aside, but I didn’t say anything in the moment.

Then we had sex again, and after that he just stopped engaging. He got up, went to his chair, and started watching videos on his phone. No conversation, no attention, nothing. So I took that as a sign that he was done hanging out. So I got dressed, and as I was leaving he said “close the door.”

So I left.

Then after I got home, he called me and was upset that I didn’t tell him I was leaving. That’s the part that’s really confusing me. From my perspective, it felt like he had already checked out and didn’t want to spend time with me anymore. But now he’s acting like I did something wrong by leaving without saying anything.

I don’t know if I misread the situation or if his behavior was actually as dismissive as it felt. I also can’t shake the feeling that he seemed more interested in his phone than spending time with me.

That is the post.