u/Flimsy-Shift-9079

I (23F) started a new job a couple weeks ago and so far it’s going well! My colleagues are quite nice even though I can tell I’m being a bit excluded but it’s okay, as an nd person it is to be expected, fitting in can be hard, especially so soon. I try to analyze what makes it so that I’m always the odd one out, the one left behind and I’ve identified some stuff. I struggle to read a room, I talk a lot, especially when nervous and mostly say a bunch of bullshit that doesn’t make sense to anyone but me and the constantly moving around, singing, dancing can get on people’s nerves. I analyze both my behavior and theirs and their reactions so I know what to work on so that I can be less annoying to people around me and so that everything goes well and I can fit in better in my next job.

In my “analysis”, I’ve noticed a colleague of mine (21M) and I are quite similar and he has ADHD too. All the things I’ve noticed I do that either leave people indifferent or cringe them a little, he does them too but when it comes to him I’ve heard people say he’s “so funny” or “endearing” or “golden retriever type”. We’re not that different in behavior or jokes or intensity… We also have the same job and get the same results. Both hyperactive awkward yappers but somehow, he’s charming and I’m a bit weird.

Before you say people have known him longer and I’m just the new kid, I’m not. The place I work at just opened so we’re all new. I swear I keep analyzing and it’s crazy how gender is the only thing differentiating us. Is it something other people have observed?

My contract finishes in 5 months so there is plenty of time to feel more included and tbh given how nice my colleagues have been so far I’m not really worried but I’m just curious as to if I’m the only one who has noticed that double standard

I (23F) suspect I met my twin flame at 18. We had a tumultuous love-hate year and a half long situationship that cut short because of health issues of mine. So alike yet so different, we both felt something stronger we never thought we could and agreed we hated in the other what we hated about ourselves and loved in the other what we loved about ourselves. The connection was out of this world.

We haven’t been in contact for over 3 years yet I haven’t spent a single day without thinking about him once. A week or so ago, I started to wonder if I should reach out so that we could meet and I could move on. See how he’s grown and the person I love does not exist anymore and tat the connection isn’t there anymore. I haven’t told anyone that. A few days ago, I started a new job and my coworker is his actual doppelgänger, appearance, charisma and personality, they are the absolute same and it’s creepy. Thank god he’s gay. I also don’t feel that connection at all despite them being complete twins. Yesterday, my sister told me she randomly found a photo of us from 2021 and felt « zapped » by this sad feeling and knowledge that he was The One and that he got away. She spent the whole day thinking about it. That night, what she said got to my head and I couldn’t sleep all night, I just missed him like he was vital, like I had lost a limb. This morning I posted a selfie on my story and e liked it and I’m freaking out.

All those unrelated events linked to him in such a short amount of time and the fact that all my feelings are flowing back when I thoughtit was all in the past, does it mean something? I’m not well versed in twin flames or spirituality or universe stuff but is our thing back on? I was afraid he’d moved on but he would never like my story if he did, he knows how tense things are between us and he’s quite smart and even more sensitive and delulu than me so I know he thought about what it would mean. I’m sorry, I just miss him so much, does anyone know if I should reach out or if it’s meaningless and I should definitely try to leave it alone?

I (23F) struggle a lot with abandonment and I have BPD. I go to therapy for it etc because I know how unbearable and irrational I can become whenever I feel abandoned, which is why I’m asking here before confronting a friend, I’m just trying to know if it’s my issues acting up or if I’m valid in my anger and disappointment.

I went away for two months for work and I’m back in town for 6 days before leaving again for 5 to 6 months. The last 10 days before I came back, my friend would call me every day to ask me to come home earlier because she missed me and and wanted to spend time before I left again. I couldn’t, as it was work.

When I did, she happened to have just left town with her boyfriend and didn’t know when she’d be back. She comes home today but I’m leaving the day after tomorrow and I’m really busy, so we’ll see each other tonight but not late because she has an important interview tomorrow morning which is fine.

When she told me, I felt myself become angry and started being mad at her, which I stopped right away and apologized. I told her it’s not her, I’m just frustrated and that I apparently still can’t handle my emotions correctly and that I was sorry.

It doesn’t help that my parents left on holiday for the whole duration of the time I’m here and my sister basically kicked me out to another apartment so that she could have parties in my parents’ place. It doesn’t seem like much but to a person with BPD that’s 3 hardcore rejections that realling trigger that abandonment fear which may lead me to be less rational, so I have to be careful about not letting it rule my actions.

I just feel angry and sort of decieved having someone expecting me everyday for 10 days only for them to not be here and go on a trip with her boyfriend whom she sees all the time while I won’t be there often. I asked why would she ask me to come home for 10 days only to not be there and she said it was for organization purposes but clearly she’s misorganized then. I wouldn’t have minded as much if she wasn’t here because she had plans but why make me feel so wanted for so long only not to show up? Idk, I feel angry and like she made a fool of me so I want to confront her but idk if it’s my issues acting up and making me think irrationally and that it’s objectively not that bad or if I’m valid in telling her I felt hurt. WIBTA if I do that?