u/Flat_Grocery_3843

my partner of 2 years [25M] broke up with me [23F] about a week ago and i completely lost it. i went into full panic mode, cried, sent a million texts promising i would change... basically did everything i wasnt supposed to do.

now i feel like absolute garbage because i showed him i have zero self esteem. im trying to go ghost now and give him the space he asked for, but i feel like the damage is already done. i looked like a crazy person.

has anyone ever acted like this (begging/pleading) and still managed to get their ex to reach out later? or did i just reinforce his decision to leave? i feel so embarrassed. how do i even start to get my dignity back after this??

tl;dr: I begged and acted desperate after my 2-year relationship ended. Now I'm starting No Contact but I’m worried I permanently ruined my chances and my dignity.

im currently on day 15 of NC and honestly, some moments i feel like a boss, but most of the time im just a panicked mess.

ive watched like 100 youtube videos saying "if you go ghost, they will realize your value and come crawling back" but then i see other people saying "if you dont reach out, you’re just making it easy for them to move on."

its so confusing. like, if they were the ones who dumped me, arent they just happy im finally out of their hair? if i dont text them, arent I just proving that i dont care either? but then if i DO text them, i know i’ll look desperate and probably get a cold 1-word reply that will destroy my self-esteem even more.

my brain is constantly screaming "text them now before they find someone else!" while my heart is trying to stay strong.

has anyone here actually had an ex reach out first after weeks or months of total silence? like, a real "i missed you" text, not just a "hey i found your socks" text? or is No Contact just a psychological trick to force us to move on while we wait for a miracle that isn't coming?

share your real stories pls. i need to know if im doing the right thing or just wasting my time waiting for a ghost.

EDIT: Wow, didn't expect this much support. Thanks everyone for sharing ur stories, it makes me feel way less alone. A lot of u mentioned the same anxiety during NC... honestly, I’m trying to put together a little 'survival guide' for myself with all the tips and tricks u guys r giving me, just so I don’t break silence and lose my dignity. If anyone has a specific routine or something that actually helped u survive the first 30 days without spiraling, please DM me. I’d love to chat more and add it to my plan. We got this!

im on day 20 of NC and the panic is real today. i keep reading all these success stories but i dont know what to believe anymore. my ex requested space so im giving it to them... but it feels like im just disappearing from their life.

wont they just get used to life without me? what if they think i dont care anymore and that makes them move on faster? i havent stalked their socials (its so hard omg) but the urge to just send a quick "hey" to see if they miss me is killing me.

if you did NC and it actually worked (like they reached out first), how long did it take? i need some real logic right now because my emotions are all over the place. dont want to ruin my progress if im doing the right thing.