​
Hi im 47F and I've been with my husband 46M for 24 years, married for 20. Generally, we're very happy, and he's a good husband and a great dad to our daughter 22. However, I've noticed he's been increasingly stressed lately, and it's starting to worry me and affect our relationship.
He's always been the type to keep his feelings bottled up, which I know is often a societal thing for men. I've tried to create a safe space for him to be vulnerable, and I've communicated this to him. Recently, I woke up to him crying due to stress. He gets a bit mad when i see him cry, although never abusive, and often hides away in his office, i think working from home hasn't helped and he's not eating until after midnight, which is unhealthy. Our daughter has also noticed and is worried about him. He's become more snappy, which isn't like him at all. Whenever I try to talk to him about it, he either says I'm overreacting or that I don't understand. Maybe I am overreacting, but I'm genuinely concerned. When he's not stressed, we're a loving couple, but those times are becoming less frequent, and it's starting to affect me too. There are so many things we should be doing together, but he seems consumed by work. I think he's taken on too much.
I suspect a big part of it is his job, but I'm not sure how to approach the situation without him getting defensive. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to help him open up, manage his stress, and bring back the joy into our relationship? I really love him and want to support him, but I'm feeling lost on how to do that right now.