u/Fearless-Okra-8970

I moved in with a family member because I felt it’s what I needed to do, though I didn’t expect these things.

So the first incident I was very distressed about it as I’ve never experienced that before, and since they’re more experienced I was looking to them about what to do. We were close to danger. I was really scared and nervous and I know it was showing. I fell asleep and woke up, but still half asleep, and woke up to hear them talking to someone about me. Kind of annoyed. Like it wasn’t valid for me to freak out. Or they were annoyed by it.

And then after their partner took me to go to the doctors, their partner wanted them to pay. Though their partner was the one that brought it up, which I’m thankful for. I heard the family member say, “You’re not about to inconvenience me.” Which is crazy to me. I’m an inconvenience? And they had a mini argument which I guess was about helping me or the money. And I hate even more if people are fighting over me. I don’t mean to burden anyone.

I never ask for much, rarely anything, and I try not to be a burden. I try to do things and buy things for myself when I can. And if I don’t have the money I don’t ask for anything. I only accept stuff, mainly food, when they buy it. When they buy me stuff to eat I don’t even get much.

I think they’re just being nice to me because everyone sees me as sweet and innocent, not being able to take care of herself and a bit gullible. But maybe that’s where they dislike me? But when you get to know me I’m much smarter. I can be clueless sometimes and slower to catch on to things though but that’s normal. I know how to do a lot that people don’t seem to think I’m capable of. That isn’t my fault! I’ve seen an impatient side of them one time when I didn’t hear what they said, and I was continually trying to help with something and they said annoyingly, “You don’t have to help.”

I try to stay out of the way, be quiet, I’m nice and kind, I try not to be a burden, I’m independent in money and life. Why does it seem like people don’t like me? Including family, when I barely talk to them and when I try to put in some effort. Like I don’t need people to like me. I know I’m worth more than another person’s opinion. It just confuses me so bad. And it hurts when I don’t even think I did anything.

I don’t want to settle, even in familiar relationships, but what the heck do I do? I live with them. I don’t think I should go back where I came from, but how do I handle this in the meantime?

I’ve already distanced myself away from them after I heard them talking about me. Should I focus on making money to get my own place?

I honestly want to offer them their money back. I never said they had to take care of me when I moved in, and I’m grateful. But I think if I were to offer it back, they would tell me no. So like, if this were someone else, I’d tell them to just keep the money if they don’t want it and make a to-go plan. Which is probably what I need to do. Any other advice?

Td;rl Feel like family member doesn’t like me or is tired of me, what do I do? (It’d really help if you read the whole post, thanks.)

Idk who needs to hear this, but don’t settle. If you have a list, don’t shorten it. If you’re getting advice from everyone on the internet, remember not everyone has your best interest at heart.

I’m so passionate about this subject, and I came across a post recently that a person was asking people was her list for what she wanted for a future husband too long, and a lot of people told her yes. Which was crazy. My list is like 4x that. And she wasn’t asking for much. But people were convincing her she was and I’m worried that she shortened it and settled. I don’t know her but I feel bad and upset when people settle for relationships in their lives.

Someone will wonder if being with a man/woman or talks about how good looking another person is, even for 30 seconds, is okay. A person will tell them “that’s just what they do”. I’m not coming for men, but since I’m a woman and like men, then I know they especially say that for men. And I’m like, that’s the same things they say for men who rape, “that boys will be boys”. Doesn’t make it right. What reason do you have to be talking about another woman/man other than your partner? Even for 30 seconds. Call me jealous or insecure, it’s just disrespectful to me. And for the people who’s partner is doing that, if you’re answer is not, “I 100% want a partner who’s does that”, and not “I’m fine with it” or “it’s just what men do”, then you’re settling. Or you’ve settled. I’m not saying this to be harsh, I’m just passionate about this truth.

If someone says “Oh people lie, nobody tells the truth”, DO NOT LISTEN. If you don’t want someone who lies, don’t settle for someone who lies. Not everyone in this world lies, no matter what anyone tells you. Whether it’s the internet or a family member. There are people out there, and if you have someone then someone for you, that won’t lie.

Last thing, not everyone has your best interests at heart. Especially on the internet. The people who tell you to settle have either settled, or are the type of person who someone has settled for. And some of them know this, but they don’t want you setting your standards high up because they want a chance. Or they want their friends and fellow men/women to have a chance, knowing a person wouldn’t otherwise if they didn’t settle. No one’s perfect, and you don’t need a perfect person and you won’t get one, but some of the people know that they don’t live up to the standards you have, so they want you to lower them to make themselves feel better.

DO NOT SETTLE👏🏾