u/Fantastic-Wafer-4692

I’m supposed to go to Great Wolf Lodge this weekend with my best friend, her husband, and our kids. Originally it was:
Me + my 4-year-old son

My friend + her two sons (7 and 16)

We’re all sharing one suite-style room, though my son and I have our own bedroom/bathroom inside it. It’s only a 24-hour trip for her younger son’s birthday, so while shared space isn’t my favorite, I agreed because it felt manageable and the boys usually do okay together.
Then two days before the trip, my friend called and said another mom asked if her 8-year-old son could come too, and my friend wants to bring him because her son would have more fun with someone closer to his age.
Here’s why I got upset:
My son is 4 and has a speech delay. He’s caught up developmentally in basically every other area, but socially the age gap can already make things harder for him. When it’s just him and the 7-year-old, they usually play fine. But when this particular 8-year-old joins, my son tends to become “the baby” and gets left out/talked over. I’m not blaming the kids for that — it’s just the dynamic.
So now instead of this feeling like a fun group trip, I feel like I’m going to spend the entire time trying to help my son navigate feeling excluded while the older boys naturally pair off together.
I’m also more anxious because

the plans changed last minute,

we’re all sharing overnight space,

I talked to my friend honestly this morning and told her I’m disappointed and sad for my son because I know how the social dynamic usually goes. She said she understands, but understandably still wants to do it because it’s her son’s birthday trip.
Now I feel stuck because I don’t really want to go anymore, but canceling this late would probably create major friendship tension and waste money since the trip is already paid for.
AIO for feeling upset/anxious about this?

I’m supposed to go to Great Wolf Lodge this weekend with my best friend, her husband, and our kids. Originally it was:
Me + my 4-year-old son

My friend + her two sons (7 and 16)

We’re all sharing one suite-style room, though my son and I have our own bedroom/bathroom inside it. It’s only a 24-hour trip for her younger son’s birthday, so while shared space isn’t my favorite, I agreed because it felt manageable and the boys usually do okay together.
Then two days before the trip, my friend called and said another mom asked if her 8-year-old son could come too, and my friend wants to bring him because her son would have more fun with someone closer to his age.
Here’s why I got upset:
My son is 4 and has a speech delay. He’s caught up developmentally in basically every other area, but socially the age gap can already make things harder for him. When it’s just him and the 7-year-old, they usually play fine. But when this particular 8-year-old joins, my son tends to become “the baby” and gets left out/talked over. I’m not blaming the kids for that — it’s just the dynamic.
So now instead of this feeling like a fun group trip, I feel like I’m going to spend the entire time trying to help my son navigate feeling excluded while the older boys naturally pair off together.
I’m also more anxious because

the plans changed last minute,

we’re all sharing overnight space,

I talked to my friend honestly this morning and told her I’m disappointed and sad for my son because I know how the social dynamic usually goes. She said she understands, but understandably still wants to do it because it’s her son’s birthday trip.
Now I feel stuck because I don’t really want to go anymore, but canceling this late would probably create major friendship tension and waste money since the trip is already paid for.
AITA for feeling upset/anxious about this?

I see a lot of people have heard about their application… I’m still waiting! Anyone else?

I’m supposed to go to Great Wolf Lodge this weekend with my best friend, her husband, and our kids. It was originally going to be:
Me + my 4-year-old son

My friend + her two boys (7 and 16)

We’re all sharing one suite-style room, but my son and I have our own bedroom/bathroom within it. It’s only about a 24-hour trip for her younger son’s birthday, so while the setup wasn’t ideal, I agreed because it felt manageable and the boys generally do okay together.
Then two days before the trip, my friend called and said another mom asked if her 8-year-old son could come too, and my friend wants to bring him because her son would have more fun with a kid closer to his age.
Here’s why I got upset:
My son is 4 and has a speech delay. Developmentally he’s caught up in basically every other way, but socially, age gaps already make things harder for him. When it’s just him and the 7-year-old, they usually play fine. But when this other 8-year-old joins, my son immediately becomes “the baby” and gets left out or talked over. I’ve seen the dynamic before.
So now instead of feeling like a fun shared trip where the kids entertain each other and the adults can relax a little, I feel like I’m going to spend the entire time emotionally managing my son while the older boys run around together.
I also feel frustrated because:
the trip dynamic changed last minute,

nobody really considered how adding another child affects everyone sharing the space,

and now I feel guilty for even being upset because “it’s for the birthday boy.”

I understand why my friend said yes. I know she wants her son to have the best birthday possible and another 7–8-year-old probably DOES make it more fun for him.
But I’ve honestly been crying over this because I just feel sad for my son already, and sad that what I thought would be a fun friend trip now feels emotionally stressful.
AITA for being upset about this?