u/Fancy_Clown_88

I’ve been so split on this since my teen years, as a kid I was sure I wouldn’t want kids and all the things that come with them. I’ll start off with my main concerns I guess, my main concern is the drastic change my life would take, I love where my life is going and I feel like I’m close to being happy with what I have as kids would kill all my expendable income, I’m also a smoker, I smoke cigarettes and weed and I love to smoke (I would absolutely quit if I got pregnant) I’m just not sure I want to intentionally give up smoking right now. Kids also take so much of your time and I always feel like I have no time, that said I usually feel like that because of work and my boyfriend is very happy to make me a stay at home mom (and yes we can afford it, just less expendable income) I also want to clarify we are in a long term relationship I’m positive this is who I’ll be spending my life with I just have no interest in marriage, so for anyone who’s gonna tell us to wait for marriage please don’t bother. I’m also such an angry person though and I’m easily bothered by small annoying sounds like chewing or teeth grinding which kids obviously do, I just don’t know if I could handle it.

Okay and now for the reasons I do want kids, I really do love kids and they’re so cute and I’d love to have my own to raise and teach I also already have names picked out :) but it’s so much to commit to. I feel like I’m running out of time because if I’m going to be a mom I want to have my kids relatively young, I also want like up to four of them if I do decide on having kids. I will say I know I’m not actually running out of time because I’m only 20 but that’s how it feels.

I’ve been so split on this since my teen years, as a kid I was sure I wouldn’t want kids and all the things that come with them. I’ll start off with my main concerns I guess, my main concern is the drastic change my life would take, I love where my life is going and I feel like I’m close to being happy with what I have as kids would kill all my expendable income, I’m also a smoker, I smoke cigarettes and weed and I love to smoke (I would absolutely quit if I got pregnant) I’m just not sure I want to intentionally give up smoking right now. Kids also take so much of your time and I always feel like I have no time, that said I usually feel like that because of work and my boyfriend is very happy to make me a stay at home mom (and yes we can afford it, just less expendable income) I also want to clarify we are in a long term relationship I’m positive this is who I’ll be spending my life with I just have no interest in marriage, so for anyone who’s gonna tell us to wait for marriage please don’t bother. I’m also such an angry person though and I’m easily bothered by small annoying sounds like chewing or teeth grinding which kids obviously do, I just don’t know if I could handle it.

Okay and now for the reasons I do want kids, I really do love kids and they’re so cute and I’d love to have my own to raise and teach I also already have names picked out :) but it’s so much to commit to. I feel like I’m running out of time because if I’m going to be a mom I want to have my kids relatively young, I also want like up to four of them if I do decide on having kids. I will say I know I’m not actually running out of time because I’m only 20 but that’s how it feels.

Alright man or woman I don’t care I’m a woman who has absolutely asked men on dates and I’ve payed when I’m the one who invites them out so I don’t want this to turn into a gender war. I point blank think it’s rude to invite someone out to buy themselves dinner… like just say it out loud, to me in common sense but do you not also want to give off a good impression? I’ve never been asked to split a bill but I can’t even fathom it, if you can’t afford dinner for two don’t invite someone out to dinner, why should I pay to come get to know you when it was your idea to go out for food?

Again my main issue here is just… go somewhere else? There’s so many options for first dates that don’t cost money yet people pick the easiest, laziest date and then ask to split.. like did you just want to try this restaurant be so for real.

Also to clarify, making plans together and inviting someone somewhere are different. If you make the plans together sure split the bill or do whatever.

I think it would solve a lot of problems, and my main concern is for the child, I think it’s best for a parent to be able to sign away their responsibilities rather than being stuck taking care of a kid they don’t want… kids can feel that.

I also think it would help with the issue of women lying about being on birth control or otherwise “baby-trapping” men.

Of course I don’t think you should be able to sign your responsibilities away after the child is born, just like a woman can’t abort after the child is born.