u/Famous_Woodpecker_78

Initially I told them I wanted some time for myself and that I don’t wanna come over for my mothers birthday. Christmas was the last time I had seen them. My father called me after the holidays and asked what had happened on Christmas eve that I wanted to leave so fast. I had told him that I didn’t wanna talk about it, because I knew that my mother was sitting right next to him.

This is something that happens a lot. My mother will tell my father everything she thinks and feels and my father will just soak it up and tell her that she is right and it will all be okay soon. It’s like she speaks to me through him. She brainwashes him so he is no longer a person but a clone to her.

Anyway, I was talking to them today for the first time since Christmas. I wanted to tell them why I needed time and what kind of relationship I want with them in the future. Essentially I want to be able to casually ask them how they are and get a coffee with them of something. The mood was not good from the beginning. My mother was quiet and my father did all the talking, which was okay, because he is able to listen without judgment and allegations.

When I explained myself and we kinda talked about what happened the last few months my mother was quiet all the time and I pointed it out by asking if she wanted to say something about her situation. She followed up by playing the victim. Of course. She said that she is obviously the bad one and she can’t understand how I could take such an extensive break because she is really feeling awful about it and she cannot see our relationship going anywhere if I need breaks like that. She cannot change.
She also said I should just get a grip and i was too soft. And I responded by telling her that I am just learning how to set boundaries and I am becoming stronger when I take breaks like that and set some boundaries.

The talk was about an hour long and she never listened, because she was busy being the victim. And every time I tried to calmly explain what I want and what I need she kinda flipped it by saying I wasn’t listening to her needs and that’s the reason why she handled things like she did. So she blamed everything on me.

I just feel like going no contact again, because I don’t feel like she would ever listen without blaming me for what has happened to me. I don’t feel like she would ever stop judging me for who I am. I can never escape being the black sheep.

The saddest part is, that I would loose my father to her, because he takes her side. He was never really there anyway but we got a little closer over the last years. Today I felt like he was not really here, only the version of him tainted by her. Thank you for reading and sorry if I sound strange, English is not my native language.

TL;DR my mother plays the victim, blames me for everything she did to me and my father is somehow used as a reflection of her

My piercing is exactly one month old

They have implant grade titanium captive bead rings in them

Not downsized

For aftercare I let water from the shower run over the piercings for a couple minutes in the morning and evening. After that I spray saline solution and pat the excess moisture off

Events: I had the problem that the beads fell off so I went to a different piercing shop (due to my piercer being too far away) to get them fixed. The piercer tried to bend my ring and the ring snapped and pulled my piercing really much, so it bled a lot and I know one of the piercings is pissed because of that, but the other one was not affected.

What can I do to make the bumps be better? I have to walk around when I work and it’s so painful because I cannot close my legs. I feel like I developed some malposition of my body due to walking funny and my feet and knees and back hurt because of it