Hello,
I’ve never posted anything on anywhere before so I’m just going to give this a go! I broke up with my girlfriend of 1 year a couple days ago and it’s been really hard. She is 21 and I am 20, and this is both of our first times being in a relationship. We started our relationship really well, and over time I had slowly drifted away. I know I did a horrible job communicating with her and I feel really guilty. I spoke to her today for 2 hours discussing what’s next. I had set in my mind we were done, and I had told my close circle that we had broken up. She spoke to me for 2 hours talking about why I had done this to her (it was relatively out of the blue for her) and what we could do to fix it. As I said I had been thinking about this for months. I love her and she loves me and my reason for the breakup was differences I didn’t think she could change. I have strong ambitions and motivations, which she does not have the same, and she does things constantly that annoy me. In saying that, I do love spending time with her most of the time and we usually got along very well. She was my best friend and I was hers. My other rationale was that we are still young and that we could both find others that give us more of what we want. After our breakup, I’ve been looking for similar stories. But I can’t find any that really align with mine. I have few real issues with her, I.e. I want to have kids, so did she, she was dating to marry etc. I don’t know if I’ve made a mistake. Some of my family don’t particularly like her, and I’m beginning to realize I had based a lot of my decision on them. I made a list of Pros v Cons before I had the talk with her. It was as follows:
Pro: Have fun with her most of the time, Relationship things (is she unique in this way? Probably not) she does genuinely care about me
Cons: Annoys me sometimes, Constantly complains, Addicted to phone (this one really frustrates me and she would struggle to change), Worries about everything, Lack of Motivation, Lack of Decisiveness.
She went through some difficult times recently, and I did everything I could to support her. I spent months doing so and I waited months to ensure I was correct in my decision. I have great aspirations to become a successful businessman, and she has no similar aspirations. We rarely fought about real things, as we got along well.
I am worried I made a mistake, but I don't know if it is just the effects of a breakup. If anyone could give me some advice or some of their experience that would be greatly appreciated.