u/East_Support5675

In Morocco we still have this weird cultural tradition of a woman briefly taking off her headscarf for her fiance. For example entering the salon with a tray of tea and cookies without her headscarf on, or some expose their arms and even some décolleté depending on how religious the families are. I am glad that the majority of guys today are really sensible and accomodating and don't demand such weird things.

I am not hating on people who still practise this, but for me personally it's just such a weird custom. I don't really see the point of it, bcs I don't understand what difference it makes, knowing how her hair looks like.

Men, do you ever think about your bride's hair? Or is it just, yeah whatever I like her face and personality so anything else is just an extra. Or do you imagine what her hair looks like?

Salamaleikum, I am in my mid20s and the brother is in his late20s. Both of us are Arabs living in the west and we go to the same institute. I can feel we both have an interest in marriage however both of us are very shy and reserved and we avoid any interaction.

I have told my mother about him and we both agree he would make a good match. However, in our culture the women do not approach. This has to come from the man's side and I cannot go against these social norms even if islamically I am allowed to send my Wali. Reality is often more complex than that.

Men of reddit, what do you think is stopping your fellow brother from approaching me? Is there anything halal and respectable I can do to facilitate the way for him?

Context: All my older siblings got married this way, for example my brother comes across a woman he likes so he sends me to her. I talk to her and find out whether she had an interest in him or not. He kept sending me to different women until we found sb he was compatible with and who also liked him back and they got married. That is the norm in our family.

So for me, if he is not approaching then that means he cannot get married at the moment. For example maybe he is not financially ready yet? Or is simply not looking for a wife. What other reason would there be?

I hope this is not too vague, barakahAllahufeekum for your patience and I hope you can understand my position.

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EDIT

Everyone thank you sm jazakumAllahukhairan, such helpful responses!!

Salamaleikum, I am in my mid20s and the brother is in his late20s. Both of us are Arabs living in the west and we go to the same institute. I can feel we both have an interest in marriage however both of us are very shy and reserved and we avoid any interaction.

I have told my mother about him and we both agree he would make a good match. However, in our culture the women do not approach. This has to come from the man's side and I cannot go against these social norms even if islamically I am allowed to send my Wali. Reality is often more complex than that.

Men of reddit, what do you think is stopping your fellow brother from approaching me? Is there anything halal and respectable I can do to facilitate the way for him?

Context: All my older siblings got married this way, for example my brother comes across a woman he likes so he sends me to her. I talk to her and find out whether she had an interest in him or not. He kept sending me to different women until we found sb he was compatible with and who also liked him back and they got married. That is the norm in our family.

So for me, if he is not approaching then that means he cannot get married at the moment. For example maybe he is not financially ready yet? Or is simply not looking for a wife. What other reason would there be?

I hope this is not too vague, barakahAllahufeekum for your patience and I hope you can understand my position.

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EDIT

Everyone thanks for all the replies, jazakumAllahukhairan ☺️. My account is too new so all my comments need to be approved (thank you sm MODS 🌷)

To the guy who said I am arrogant for assuming every man is attracted to me. This has nothing to do with me thinking I am attractive. This is also not about "every guy", but rather about one single man that I have "known" for almost 7 months now, so I am talking based on compatibility and human connection.

Salamaleikum, I am in my mid20s and the brother is in his late20s. Both of us are Arabs living in the west and we go to the same institute. I can feel there is an interest in marriage from both of our sides, however both of us are very shy and reserved and we avoid any unnecessary interaction.

I have told my mother about him and we both agree he would make a good match. However, in our culture the women do not approach. This has to come from the man's side and I cannot go against these social norms even if islamically I am allowed to send my Wali. But reality is often more complex than that.

How come, the brother hasn't asked for my hand, yet? Can sb share insights with me, bcs my mom and I have been waiting for him to approach me.

I hope this is not too vague, barakahAllahufeekum for your patience and I hope you can understand my position.