u/DysphoricDumbass

White pre-everything trans man here. I highly prefer trans women & transfems reply to this post, I need to properly hear their personal experiences and thoughts about this topic.

Aside from the bioessentialist malgendering and name calling (theyfab, birthdayboy etc) that's being directed to trans men recently, there's been a lot of general hostility towards transmascs from just about anybody in the queer community, at least from what I've seen on Twitter. And as much as Twitter is a cesspool on its own, there are still real human users who still carry over their beliefs into real life, so I believe this discussion is still worth having. And don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy to complain about the many problems within the transmasc side (primarily within white transmascs) such as the masculinizing demonization of trans women and the questionable artistic depiction of transfems, but I feel the discourse has come to the point of outright denying any oppression trans men still face in the real world. Still, it's making me question a lot of things about the transmasc identity and if I'm missing a lot of things.

I was always under the impression that trans men and trans women were of different but equal oppression under the white cismasc system, but there are so many who argue that trans men inherently have more power over trans women, no matter if they're of color or non-passing or poor or disabled. An example I've seen is that they're more capable of securing housing thanks to "AFAB only" spaces whether they're passing or not, and that AMAB housing is completely awful in comparison. Aside from this, I genuinely can't tell if there's something else I'm ignoring or missing from the transmasc side, especially because, for as long as I don't pass and for as long as the government and my doctors know my birth sex, I will still be a victim of systemic misogyny and be at a great risk of femicide and sexist abuse, so that shapes a lot of how I go about my life.

Is it also that stealth cismasc-passing trans men have more social privilege over trans women - even when keeping intersectionality into account (race, disability, economic class etc) - that makes the entire transmasc identity inherently more privileged than the transfem identity? I genuinely do want to keep holding myself and my peers accountable for any remaining transmisogynistic biases we express, but I have to be honest in that it's becoming disheartening because of how much our transmasc struggles are becoming silenced yet again, even if it wasn't intended. I don't know what to feel other than I'm lost and overwhelmed, and I really need a proper discussion about this.

Once again, I highly prefer the input of trans women & transfems. If any transmasc is to reply, then I expect zero infighting or belittling from either side in the comments.

Edit: I'm at awe of the responses I already got, and I'm genuinely starting to realize I've been getting too used to an environment that's even more toxic than I thought it already was (no duh), I thought I was taking the proper precautions but I actually wasn't. I have a lot to think about regarding my beliefs, and I'm genuinely very thankful for the reminders I've been given. Holy shit.

I use the website version of Discord because it chugs my computer way less, but it prevents me from seeing phone users turn on their cameras. I can see desktop webcams, desktop streams, iPad/tablet streams and phone streams perfectly, but every time a phone user turns on their camera I end up needing to open the desktop client just to be able to see what they're filming. I ended up finding out that the problem could be the fact that I use Firefox, a Manifest v2 browser, because the problem persists on LibreWolf while phone cameras work perfectly on Chrome. What could this mean, and can it be fixed? No I'm not switching to Chrome, I need my uBlock.

General NSFW warning and a warning for going into issues with personal queer sexuality.

I (22 FtM) have a deep debilitating fear of intimacy involving women - the feminine genitalia/sex characteristics, cisfem passing voices and the entire feminine side of the gender spectrum. I can't be with cis women, trans women/transfems, demigirls or anyone of the sort. Aside from cis men, I can only tolerate transmascs/trans men who are post-phallo or have bottom dysphoria aside from being post-T. To be clear, this did not impact my gender identity and I know this for certain.

I used to consider myself bi when I was a young teen, but ever since I started realizing more of what my mother did to me, my fear of women developed to such a point that I can't consider myself attracted anymore. I don't even know if that's psychologically possible, nor do I want to perpetuate that idea because it's deeply dangerous against queer people. But any time I'm interacted with by a woman, my brain chemically reacts as though it's my mother and I start to feel like I'm in danger. I tense up, feel panic and want to cry and escape. My future intimate life feels like it's gonna have so many issues because of this. I need to know if there's anyone in a similar position as me.

General NSFW warning and a warning for going into issues with personal queer sexuality.

I (22 FtM) have a deep debilitating fear of intimacy involving women - the feminine genitalia/sex characteristics, cisfem passing voices and the entire feminine side of the gender spectrum. I can't be with cis women, trans women/transfems, demigirls or anyone of the sort. Aside from cis men, I can only tolerate transmascs/trans men who are post-phallo or have bottom dysphoria aside from being post-T. To be clear, this did not impact my gender identity and I know this for certain.

I used to consider myself bi when I was a young teen, but ever since I started realizing more of what my mother did to me, my fear of women developed to such a point that I can't consider myself attracted anymore. I don't even know if that's psychologically possible, nor do I want to perpetuate that idea because it's deeply dangerous against queer people. But any time I'm interacted with by a woman, my brain chemically reacts as though it's my mother and I start to feel like I'm in danger. I tense up, feel panic and want to cry and escape. My future intimate life feels like it's gonna have so many issues because of this. I need to know if there's anyone in a similar position as me.

This has been an issue for me since the Winter update. But considering other Roblox games experience this exact same issue outside of DTI, it's absolutely Roblox's fault. But it's about to be May now, and the textures still blur. Have any DTI content creators come out with any sort of hack or workaround? How are they even holding up? My gaming laptop isn't even that low quality.

This has been an issue for me since the Winter update. But considering other Roblox games experience this exact same issue outside of DTI, it's absolutely Roblox's fault. But it's about to be May now, and the textures still blur. Have any DTI content creators come out with any sort of hack or workaround? How are they even holding up? My gaming laptop isn't even that low quality.