u/Due-Pear-6619

Genuinely wondering. I became a Christian a decade ago, I haven’t dated since then and I have been in celibacy. However, before I became a Christian I did have a high sex drive and I had lots of sex with my boyfriends and casual partners. I do feel now that I am a new creation and I don’t want to sleep with anyone unless it is my husband, but I don’t understand how Christian couples abstain from sex for years before they marry. Do you not sleep together at all, and just kiss and make out before getting married? Or do people actually sleep together but keep it a secret between them?

In my country, and among my fellow young (20-35) Christians, it is not talked about how couples do. But it might be insinuated that some people do sleep together before marriage, but they do get married and have children anyway.

I’m just trying to understand how people can abstain. Perhaps it’s easier if you haven‘t boyfriends/girlfriends before?

såg i natt att mina bevakningar samt köpoäng på Boplats helt försvunnit. panikar lätt då jag nästan har elva års kötid på Boplats Väst. 🫠

nån annan med problem?

I started a new job in January and there is this cute 30 year old guy there. I am 43 and I have been single for many a years, due to not many guys wanting anything serious.

Anyway, this guy has been flirting and giving me compliments since day one. I have been neutral and NOT reciprocated at all, and when the compliments get a bit too much I’ve changed the subject and deflect. The problem is that he told me after a month that he has a girlfriend for the last year and a half ”but that their relationship has been very rocky for a while now”, but since then I’ve very much kept my distance. But he has also been a very good and trustworthy friend at work that always has my back. And he is a good person. I’m now trying to figure out if he’s done that from the goodness of his heart or if he just wants to get in my pants.

A few weeks ago I had to jump in and work due to a colleague being sick, so me and him had an entire evening working alone together, and he ended up saying that he’s always wanted to kiss me and other things. He ended upp kissing me, and unfortunately we have great chemistry. But I told him that we cant ever do that again, that he has a girlfriend and that I don’t mess with taken men (true).

We worked together this past weekend again and he talked about how hes been thinking about me and he kissed me again. I said no and have maintained that boundary. I feel bad for his girlfriend and I wonder how many times he’s done that before to his girlfriend, since he had been pursuing for three months before he kissed me.

Now thankfully our schedules don’t coincide, and in June he will be moving to a different department. But now I just feel sad, because I did see him as one of my closest coworkers and was always very helpful when I was new to things. Also, the kiss has made me feel things about him I didnt feel before. This is not something I shall ever pursue, and I told him that I don’t do casual sex, and ABSOLUTELY not any mistress situation, so these are only fleeting feelings that will disappear after a while. I just have never been in this type of situation before, and I feel like an idiot! Nobody at work knows, but I suspect that some of my coworkers have eagle eyes and have noticed something.

What do you men think about this situation?

I have been in celibacy for a bit more than ten years, since I became a born again Christian. Before that, I was in my early 30s, single and ready to mingle lol. Now I am confused. Yes, I’d like to get married. No, Christian online dating isnt great where I live. No, all the people my age at church are already married and with at least one child. I am sure that if I will meet someone, it will be in a different environment outside of church. Perhaps at work, perhaps at the gym, perhaps outside somewhere.

Since I have only dated when I was not a Christian, this is a whole new territory I am entering. What was something that I understood before, now I feel like a complete beginner. I don’t know how to navigate these foreign seas lol. Now when guys flirt or show interest in me, I am neutral and I don’t ”give in” or reciprocate anything. Of course, it is a boost to get the attention, but its not anything I seek out or anything, I’m just courteous and friendly, or deflect if it is too much.

My question is for my fellow single Christians, how do you navigate singlehood when you’re looking for love? Do you get crushes or infatuations on people? And if so, how do you handle those emotions? Do you give in to your emotions or do you try to give those feelings to Jesus and you turn to Him every time?

How do you do when you date? Do you date with the goal of marriage? Do you date with other goals?

i started taking about around 5 grams of spirulina last fall, as a way to boost my immune system. I worked at a preschool and it was the only thing that could stop a cold in the tracks if I took it as soon as I felt a scratch in my throat.

Ive continued to take it every day since September last year, and I am not sure what it does for me lol. It PERHAPS makes me smell less when I sweat but Im not sure. It has made my hair grow more, which I didn’t expect. But thats about it.

Anyone else that have noticed any changes when they take spirulina every day? Both positive and/or negative changes?

I discovered a black mole on my right foot sole a few years ago. It was a tiny, tiny dot that has gotten a bit bigger since then. And today I discovered a tiny brown mole on left foot sole that has never been there before. I am 43, of African descent living in Scandinavia, if that is of any importance. Weather here don’t allow for that much sun bathing, and that happens like five times every three years lol.

I don’t have any other issues with my skin and health in general, and I use sunscreen for days where the UV index isn’t 0.

I will have my moles checked by a private dermatologist, but I wonder if moles on feet soles and palms get more common with age.

Hey yall!

I used to wax my intimate parts at home in my 20s. I am 43 now and I’m thinking of starting doing it again at home, but I don’t know if skin is too sensitive now with age. Perhaps a silly question, but I have no one to ask this IRL😆

So I wonder if there are any women over the age of 40 who on the regular wax their labia, and if you feel like it’s the same as when you did it when you were younger.

Thanx

There is a clinic with a powerful laser machine for hair removal, Ive done my bikini line there before with great results. Now I am thinking about doing the whole shebang, laser my whole nether regions into smithereens, remove it all.

However, I am in my early 40s and i do have a salt and pepper situation going on on my labia. So there would be some white hairs that aren’t affected by the laser. I figured I could shave or wax the white hairs whenever I feel like it (I only shave completely when I have a sexual partner, which isnt that often).

But are there any downsides to removing all the hair on the labia and between butt cheeks? I know that no hair around the butthole equals louder farts, but that’s about it. But what are the pros and cons of a complete Brazilian laser hair removal?

thanks

Just wondering how others are living their lives. I live in a very secular and atheist country in Europe, where there aren’t many active Christians at all. I have been a born again for 10 years, and now I am 43 and I am longing for a relationship with a man that God will choose for me.

But looking around, there aren’t many singles around my age in my church. I have men flirting and hitting on me, but I haven’t found anyone that I feel would take my views on sexuality seriously, or anyone that would want to abstain from sex until matrimony.

Also, I have been a bit cynical when it comes to men hitting on me, as quite a few of them have been taken, in a relationship, married, etc. while hitting on me. It’s been like this since I was young, and it has always pissed me off. I do not dress ”skimpy”, I don’t give out sexual energy, I always deflect and retract when they mention that they’re in a relationship.

I have been living in celibacy since I became a Christian, and I am honestly so confused about how to find a man now lol. I am not going back to my earlier single days but I really yearn for a relationship with a man. I have prayed about it and put it in God’s hands, but I am just hoping that I will have my eyes and ears open if God would send me a partner.