u/Dry_Preparation3639

I recently found out from my dad(M,50) that I have a brother and I honestly do not know how to process it or what my next move should be. Apparently, when my dad was 14 years old, he had a son. Because of this, his family kicked him out and he spiraled into drug and alcohol abuse. He tried to be a father for about a year, but the mother’s family eventually told him to leave and never contact them again. He hasn’t seen or spoken to them in nearly 30 years.

My half-brother is now in his 30s, lives in a different country, and just had his first child with his wife. My dad has zero social media and my mom doesn’t use his surname, so there is practically no way for them to find us. My dad has expressed that he’d love to get into contact, especially now he’s a grandfather and I’ve managed to find a way to contact my brother and his wife on fb.

I am 21 and I have a sister, but I am almost certain my brother has no idea we exist. I am torn because I really want to know him, but I am also terrified. Does a man with a new baby even want or need a 21yr old sister popping up out of nowhere? I am scared of being rejected and I am scared of the drama this might stir up for his mother, who probably hasn’t thought about my dad in decades.

I feel like I am carrying this massive secret and I have no one to ask for advice since I don't know anyone who has gone through this. Should I even reach out or is it better to leave his life alone? If I do contact him, what on earth do I say? How do I lead with the news that I'm his sister without sounding like a scammer or a burden? Please help.

I was also told this on New Year’s Eve after having drank many glasses of wine.

Also it was found out that he had a son because my mom found his social media.

TLDR: My dad had a kid at 14 and was forced out of his life. That son is now in his 30s with a new baby and lives abroad. I just found out he exists and I want to contact him, but I am afraid of rejection and disrupting his new family life.

I recently found out from my dad that I have a brother and I honestly do not know how to process it or what my next move should be. Apparently, when my dad was 14 years old, he fathered a son. Because of this, his family kicked him out and he spiraled into drug and alcohol abuse. He tried to be a father for about a year, but the mother’s family eventually told him to leave and never contact them again. He hasn’t seen or spoken to them in nearly 30 years.

My half-brother is now in his early 30s, lives in a different country, and just had his first child with his wife. My dad has zero social media and my mom doesn’t use his surname, so there is practically no way for them to find us. My dad has expressed that he’d love to get into contact, especially now he’s a grandfather and I’ve managed to find a way to contact my brother and his wife on fb.

I am 21 and I have a sister, but I am almost certain my brother has no idea we exist. I am torn because I really want to know him, but I am also terrified. Does a 30yr old man with a new baby even want or need a 21yr old sister popping up out of nowhere? I am scared of being rejected and I am scared of the drama this might stir up for his mother, who probably hasn’t thought about my dad in decades.

I feel like I am carrying this massive secret and I have no one to ask for advice since I don't know anyone who has gone through this. Should I even reach out or is it better to leave his life alone? If I do contact him, what on earth do I say? How do I lead with the news that I'm his sister without sounding like a scammer or a burden? Please help.

I was also told this on New Year’s Eve after having drank many glasses of wine.

TLDR: My dad had a kid at 14 and was forced out of his life. That son is now 30 with a new baby and lives abroad. I just found out he exists and I want to contact him, but I am afraid of rejection and disrupting his new family life.

I recently found out from my dad that I have a brother and I honestly do not know how to process it or what my next move should be. Apparently, when my dad was 14 years old, he fathered a son. Because of this, his family kicked him out and he spiraled into drug and alcohol abuse. He tried to be a father for about a year, but the mother’s family eventually told him to leave and never contact them again. He hasn’t seen or spoken to them in nearly 30 years.

My half-brother is now in his early 30s, lives in a different country, and just had his first child with his wife. My dad has zero social media and my mom doesn’t use his surname, so there is practically no way for them to find us. My dad has expressed that he’d love to get into contact, especially now he’s a grandfather and I’ve managed to find a way to contact my brother and his wife on fb.

I am 21 and I have a sister, but I am almost certain my brother has no idea we exist. I am torn because I really want to know him, but I am also terrified. Does a 30yr old man with a new baby even want or need a 21yr old sister popping up out of nowhere? I am scared of being rejected and I am scared of the drama this might stir up for his mother, who probably hasn’t thought about my dad in decades.

I feel like I am carrying this massive secret and I have no one to ask for advice since I don't know anyone who has gone through this. Should I even reach out or is it better to leave his life alone? If I do contact him, what on earth do I say? How do I lead with the news that I'm his sister without sounding like a scammer or a burden? Please help.

I was also told this on New Year’s Eve after having drank many glasses of wine.

TLDR: My dad had a kid at 14 and was forced out of his life. That son is now 30 with a new baby and lives abroad. I just found out he exists and I want to contact him, but I am afraid of rejection and disrupting his new family life.