I’m dating a really nice, but not so well groomed man who doesn’t own so many clothes and is overweight. When we hug I can smell his sweat. I wish he would shower and change clothes more often but I feel weird for bringing it up. We’ve known each other less than a month. He’s an amazing person and we have so much in common. What should I do??
I struggle with mental health and was suggested the keto diet as a potential thing that could make depression and anxiety a bit less pronounced, does anyone here have any experience on going on keto for mental health?
I have started going to bed 1-2 hours later than I’d usually do.
-I feel miserable, sad, anxious, with a lot of thoughts about not being good enough and not belonging.
-I fear this could be the start of an episode. I’ve also started drinking more.
-And I have a romantic interest who go to bed super early and is not keeping me up.
Why am I keeping myself up? I don’t get it.
My life is kind of stressful lately, I’m in a squeeze at work, they tell me that I need to do better or quit.
-How do I pull myself together?
My love interest is in a good place in life and love themselves. That stresses me out a lot. I don’t feel that way and haven’t felt that way since I was very little.
-Why am I not able to make myself feel good about myself and my life?
Am I getting manic? For not falling to sleep early enough?
They say you’re first ready to date when you love yourself and your life. I feel struggling with BPD, trauma and depression makes that statement difficult because the threshold for good is so extreme: either I’m managing everything a 100% being successful in the mainstream way or I’m a failure. I know I have a lot of mind traps like that.
This is my life: I work as an artist part time, as well as keeping a busy social life perusing hobbies and being physically active.
Still I don’t feel like my life is successful aka lovable in the sense of me loving life.
And when it comes to me: I’m well liked and extremely self critical. People say they feel warm and cosy and comfortable around me. I’m rarely angry and I am very supportive. Do I love myself? No. Do I show up for my self every day as best as I can, YES! (Mostly)
I can’t say with my hand on my heart that I
a) love my life
b) love me
It’s been like that since I was very young. I’m at a point where I believe that this is as good as it gets. I’ve been single for a long while and I really want to be a good partner for someone.
Would it be wrong to keep shut about feeling shitty about a) and b) and just work it out paralelly?
Lately I’ve started drinking alone and it makes me feel better. I’m ashamed that I’m doing it. I know that I should just not do it. It makes me forget to binge eat. It makes me forget about myself for a bit. I don’t want to to it but I feel alone and like I have no one to turn to
I just got home from a group hangout with people I know a bit but not a lot. They’re including but seem to know and relate to eachother more than what I can/do. I always feel different/off. They like girls and I like personalities. I feel like I’m not gay enough. I often feel like I’m not enough. How do I have good relationships with others when I don’t know how to be comfortable about myself?
I’ve been at the same job for two years now and something is not working. I feel like I’m stagnating and I’m feeling strong resistance on starting on projects and the fact that it doesn’t pay. I’m on welfare. I’m dreading going to work, I’m constantly feeling that I’m not doing a good enough work. I feel pressured to do better and a lot of shame. I feel I’m not structured enough.
What’s stopping me from leaving is that there’s not guarantee that another job will make adaptations or that my new colleagues will understand. Maybe I won’t be able to keep a normal job, maybe the company won’t understand. Will I be able to be open about my situation? I’m sensitive when it comes to stress and can’t work more than 30-40%.
I feel very stuck in the work I do, I work as an artist and it’s expected of me to be selfdriven and self motivated. I struggle with constant low self worth, anxiety, depression. I’m told to get my act together or to leave. The workplace is specifically made for people who struggle with mental health and who’s on social benefits. The main idea is that it’s supposed to give safety, structure, belonging, the uppertunety to grow as an artist, stability, continuity.
I’m dreading going to work and I get so stressed that I sit on the phone most of the time, getting things done some of the time. I’m told that it is what it is and I have it a fair shot, I should move on. But the workplace is tailored to be good, but at the same time it isn’t.
My ADD is really making it hard to function. Can I thrive somewhere else??? I have this loose idea that it would be cool to become a female barber. 💈 I want to stay, I don’t want to stay, I want to be able to feel like I’m doing a good job and to be social in the same time. Should I stay or should I go?
I’m 4 dates in and we’ve been to my place twice already, I get the feedback that my dates really like me and he wants me to meet his friends and has told his parents about us. He expresses that he trusts me a lot and that he’s in love with me.
Me on the other hand need time to build trust and before that happens I’m not comfortable with meeting friends and hanging out at either of our places. I am depressed, extremely self critical, anxious and a bit traumatised from earlier experiences. I don’t know how going slow looks, or how to tell him in a good way that we need to slow down.
He knows about my diagnosis but does not know that dating can trigger me. Every time I open up about something difficult (a total of 2 times) I get extremely self critical and triggered to the point of shutting down emotionally. He’s good with emotions and is a therapist and a singer. We have a lot in common and when we’re together I feel like the me I was before I got sick. Same humor, same vibe, we enjoy each other’s company a lot. I just don’t want to be dependent on him emotionally or risk a uneven power dynamic.
I like this person and I want to see how it goes. It scears me that he is coming on so strongly. I feel like saying: hi boo, we’re moving a bit too fast for me right now, let’s brainstorm how to take things slower. I really like you and appreciate our time together and I want to make sure that the pace we have is sustainable. You’re an absolute gem and I’m so happy that we’ve met. Could something like that work?
I’ve been dating this person for 4 times and they’re all green flags. Happy and content, loving and trusting. Has worked on themselves and isn’t lonely and hurting like I am. They don’t need somebody to help and support them. They’re in a good place and they’re dating me, I’m the opposite. I have a long list of partners to tried and failed. I’m probably the last thing they need right now, but for now they’re happy and joyful telling everyone about us including their parents. They’re expressing feelings of love. I’m terrified of going into something because I know too well how much it hurts when it doesn’t work out. My dating cv is long and every time it’s over I get severe SI. How can I talk to my partner about this? They want to support and help. (Which triggers me, I don’t need another fake hero/ rescuer) I’m sceared and triggered and traumatised. I’m struggling to not tell my sob stories to them, I don’t want for my partner to pity me, but that has ultimately been the result of opening up.
Hi x I’m experiencing lots of anxiety considering opening up and I feel guilty fôr talking about difficult stuff.
Reply: I’m here for you, I want to support you any way I can.
Inner dialogue: you’re so stupidly for opening up. Why did you do it? You can never take it back.
Fear: nobody can love you when you’re so unhappy about you life, you should break this off and continue living miserably alone so you don’t bother anyone. My friends are bothered. I am a bother. Nobody can stand you and that’s why you’re alone. You deserve loneliness, it’s the only wayz
Them: I’m very in love with you. You’re amazing. I can’t stop thinking about you.
Me internally: this will change when they know. I am a burden. I can’t use other people to substitute comfort, inner validation. I’m worthless. People suffer because of me. I can never be my true self. It’s not safe here. I don’t want to hurt other people. But seriously when my potential partner knows how much I lean onto other people they’ll wish they’ve known earlier.
Conclusion: make partner leave. Make partner understand how big of a burden I really am. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Don’t say anything. Stay calm and smiling and «cute»
If I stay silent I’ll suffer. If I tell this the wrong way I’ll make a fool out of myself.
Can I say:
Hi x, I really struggle to find comfort and meaning in my life and it makes me worried about how that might affect you. I’m working on myself in many ways but I haven’t fully found out how to properly function and thrive in my life. It is making me unsure about our relationship because I don’t want there to be an unbalance there. (Staying silent might prevent that? Or…)
I really want a partner and now I have this amazing person who’s expressing strong interest. I’m hurting and being really insecure. I’m not sure if I’m in the right mindspace.
I used to go for partners to outsource selflove and support, hoped I’d find a sulution, a cure, a remedy for my inner wounds. I ended up with hurting people and them feeling used.
How do I find a way to love myself and lead a meaningful life?
I have no plans, it’s a long weekend and I have the day off tomorrow. Lately I’ve started experimenting how tipsy I can possibly get. I’m thinking about going home from work and drink my mind blank. I usually don’t drink and it’s against my core values but I feel so lonely and desperate to feel connected. If I knew how to get a hand of something stronger I would. I fucking hate my life. Sorry for posting this.
Let’s trauma dump they said and I could feel myself getting a bit stressed out. Here’s the in, I have to disclose now, I felt. After many rounds of this where not disclosing early has proven to be bad and keeping it all inside has proven too stressful, I told them «I have bipolar» and they listened. Then my brain went to the time my new friend (another scenario) told everyone about their late friend who had died and who had bipolar. I don’t feel safe. I don’t feel comfortable. I’m not happy about my life. I don’t know how to be happy by myself. I feel I need someone. It makes me feel not good enough to have friends or a partner. The anxiety is so intense. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me, but I feel really sad about how life has been and still is so hard :(
I have some new friends through a girl I went on one date with. I’ve met them 2-3 times and I don’t feel comfortable yet to have them visiting my flat. I haven’t been open with them and they make lots of jokes about mental health and have their issues there. The deep connection isn’t there, it’s all surface and I don’t want to open up to them. I want as few people as possible to know, and when I have opened up in the past I didn’t feel okay with it. It’s a lot of tell me your whole story, mine is 16 years old and filled with broken friendships and some that lasts because I don’t talk about it.
I crave connection but I also value my privacy. And I don’t feel safe. I feel really bad about myself. I don’t know how to proceed.