1st Mother’s Day NC with Mother
I am almost 60 years old, an only child and had a good relationship with my mother until last November 2025 when she decided she couldn’t deal with the stress and anxiety of the chronic illness that has become my life since January 2025.
She is married and even though she is older, and other than typical age related aches and pains, she is well ie no illnesses or conditions that keep her from doing the things she enjoys, walking, seeing friends, dining out, driving.
I was diagnosed with a chronic illness and have been mostly bedridden for over one year. I have been hospitalized 4 times in 5 months. My mother did not visit or call any of those times. The last time we spoke was on the phone in November at which time she yelled at me and hung up.
She then proceeded to go away for 6 months during the winter and has now returned for good. I reached out to her numerous times by email over the last few months and most of my emails were ignored. The last one was a couple of weeks ago wherein I expressed how hurt I am for her to completely disengage from my life, especially during what has been the most terrifying time of my life being ill every day and not knowing when or if I will get better.
I am also a mother of two loving children whom have stood by my side during this illness, and I know that I could never turn my back on either of them if they were suffering.
I am divorced and live alone and my daughter has been staying with me for the last few months following one of my hospitalizations.
How does one process these feelings and the reality of the situation. My mother and I were always close and shared everything. I never would have imagined our relationship would become no contact. This is something I never chose but then again neither was my illness. I have never received an explanation from her or apology for just stopping all communication except to say she hopes I feel better and she is unable to see me as she isn’t doing well physically or emotionally.
I truly empathize that as parents age and they become limited in mobility and mentally, I can’t condone just cutting a child out because their illness is too stressful. My heart is literally broken and I’m trying to come to terms with it.