Typically my OCD is loudest with my health symptoms. However, in happy moments of my life, I tend to feel a heightened sense of doom and that I should be cautious and hyper vigilant that something bad will happen. It was my bachelorette weekend, and on my way home, I got pulled over for the 2nd time ever. I did not handle it well as I was really anxious...legs shaking uncontrollably, feeling immense shame, etc. Anyway, I got a pretty hefty speeding ticket. I felt so much guilt that I drove home and didn't go to my original destination. Ever since I've been overworking my brain figuring out the best way to pay the speeding ticket, as it is not in my state's online portal yet. I keep thinking of everything that could go wrong, feeling like a total criminal, meanwhile everyone around me tells me to relax. Can anyone relate?
u/Dependent_Season_669
So I've been dealing with health OCD for as long as I can remember, but got diagnosed last year. I also have gotten increasingly worse at relaxing over the last few years. I often feel lazy and shitty when I do something for pleasure and not productivity. Not necessarily work productivity, but things like doing the dishes, folding laundry, working on wedding planning, etc. If I choose NOT to do those things, I feel immense guilt. However even when I am doing those things, I feel fear for something I cannot identify. I know OCD is causing that overarching fear of "something", but it's hard for me to manage it. I also feel a lot of shame and guilt even when I first wake up (so it's hard to identify the cause or trigger then) more so on weekends than on days I am working. I am in therapy, but we're mainly focusing on not doing my health related compulsions like body scanning and checking. Any advice would be appreciated!
I wake up most mornings feeling shameful and guilty. I also feel those emotions when I'm not "as productive" as I "should" be (OCD talking). However sometimes I just feel shameful and weird without any type of intrusive thoughts. Any advice on that?