u/DepartmentWrong91

This is half vent half I wanna hear your takes. I’m a Virgo sun sag moon cancer rising Leo Venus. He’s cap sun and Venus, Gemini moon Aries rising. I’ll try to keep it to the point sorry in advance lol

-long distance, he’s 2 years younger and lives in a city that I go to often for work

-he was very bold but respectful in his pursuit of me. Let me know outright he wanted me as soon as he saw me BUT we never discussed a future, relationship or those things it was kind of all just based on attraction and vibes in hindsight which I regret

-1 really nice date, a bit of fooling around, kind of “playing house“ in a way very affectionate lots of kissing cuddles and we agreed on our next date. But then due to work I didn’t come back for 3 months

-We kept in touch for the first 2 months of that. - I loved his directness and consistency I however was very intimidated and struggled a lot to match him and keep the momentum. he said I’m hard to read. In hindsight he was so bold and I was honestly cowardly, never fully opening up or being 100% myself but I’ve been single af for so long I feel like I’ve lost my dating and connection skillls.

-During the 2 months apart my communication got shitty. I went from being super busy and social to being depressed, pretty broke, at home all the time and I stopped being consistent. This is when I should’ve been self aware to cut it off cause I was just not doing well but I wanted to see things through; At first he seemed unphased but eventually I could tell he wasn’t impressed, slower to reply, less enthusiastic etc

- one day we have a longish FaceTime. We discuss a lot, work, life etc but never anything about US. It ends normally he texts me goodnight❤️ with a heart that night like usual, then boom never hear from him again.

If he wasn’t feeling the inconsistency then okay fair but why drag it out. Did I bore him? Did he meet someone else (I was leaning towards that which is totally ok but at least send a text), was I never gonna be taken serious anyways? I’d do a lot differently if I could, cause really we never built a strong enough connection to survive the distance anyways. But damn can’t even muster a “this isn’t working for me” or something ?? I can’t be THAT bad. Confusing sure but never vindictive

let me start off- I HATE TO SOUND LIKE A PICK ME LOSERR but this is getting out of hand and I’d love your feedback and experiences so I can get back to my grounded self. I was super content being single and really just enjoying being young hot stable and in my 20s and this has been a big ego bruise for me.

Ladies how are we moving on from failed romantic situations that were our own fault? I have only been in toxic relationship/situationships so I’ve never really had to sit and look at myself in this way before. I’m usually having to forgive myself for looking past red flags or staying too long. But in this case I let my own insecurities and doubt cause me to act way too nonchalant and play it cool with someone who was always very open and consistent with me. I thought we were making progress but then he just stopped replying to me. Maybe I misread the whole thing and he didn’t like me that much, maybe he got tired of waiting for me to open up like he was, but it’s been like 3 almost 4 months now and I am still stuck on the situation. im 26 he’s 24 and it was a long distance talking/dating phase that lasted like 3 months (i work in his city which isn’t too far from mine).

I feel like a psychopath and a LOSAA. Why can’t I be like a shitty man who has no hang up’s and moves on to someone new?? I’ve been in the gym like crazy, working, travelling, ticking off my bucket list and still I cannot stop blaming myself for pushing away the first really good guy I’ve met in a long time. I get a lot of attention but it’s all vapid and I find myself comparing everyone to him and none of them do compare. I’m sure a large part has to do with my ego being bruised and my own abandonment issues and just genuine guilt but my God when does this end? I definitely have learned the lesson which is not to take a patient and sincere man for granted, and to put my pride aside if I want the type of love I claim to, but I just feel like I’m stuck replaying everything I did wrong.

Ladies how are we moving on from situations that were our own fault? I have only been in toxic relationship/situationships so I’ve never really had to sit and look at myself in this way before. I’m usually having to forgive myself for looking past red flags or staying too long. But in this case I let my own insecurities and doubt cause me to act way too nonchalant and play it cool with someone who was always very open and consistent with me. I thought we were making progress but then he just stopped replying to me. Maybe I misread the whole thing and he didn’t like me that much, maybe he got tired of waiting for me to open up like he was, but it’s been MONTHSSS and I am still stuck on the situation.

I feel like a psychopath. Why can’t I be like a shitty man who has no hang up’s and moves on to someone new?? I’ve been in the gym like crazy, working, travelling and still I cannot stop blaming myself for pushing away the first really good guy I’ve met in a long time. I’m sure a large part has to do with my ego being bruised and my own abandonment issues and just genuine guilt but my God when does this end?