u/DemonKittens

Background I think is needed for context. My FIL is my husbands stepfather, my MIL is his mother. I’m my husbands second wife and there’s a large age gap between us, I’m younger than his two younger siblings (he’s the oldest of 3), and am the newest to the family (we’ve been together 9 years). I was welcomed into his entire extended family with open arms, there’s no animosity at all (maybe a bit of jealously from one but a story for another day).

Anyway, we visited for Mother’s Day and FIL is doing terrible. Compounding on his general grumpy demeanor he can’t eat at the table without crumbs raining down on his lap, MIL was literally sweeping his pants clean the whole time. Nothing he says is coherent, we could only understand about every third word out of his mouth, we just nod and say “mmhmm” to placate him. Once MIL got him sat down in his mechanical recliner chair thing he went on a diatribe for the 50th time about how he should have married his Vietnamese girlfriend because she would have let him ride the tractor he can’t get onto because he already fell off trying to but wants to buy a $4k attachment to clear the field they’ve never in 20 years used.

If you’ve made it this far I just want to ask for your advice. Every other relative on his side of the family lives states away and makes to excuses to not visit because FIL is insufferable. We live an hour away and visit every few months, but dread it. We would visit much more often if he wasn’t there, my MIL is a saint and we’ve asked her to move closer to us but “it’s FILs house, he built it and we can’t leave”. I don’t know what to do, I’m new, I see this stuff firsthand, I don’t think I’m in a position to stand up to the family, any advice is welcome

We’re heading over in a few hours hours to visit, my MIL is a saint (my husbands mother), but my FIL (my husbands step father) is a miserable old man. He suffered a stroke a few years ago and bitches constantly about not being able to do things he used to do, he used to be a handyman. I bitches about my MIL constantly and calls her “the warden”, because she keeps him from hobbling with his walker into his workshop. She can’t leave him alone anymore because he wanders without supervision and has fallen and broken his hip while unsupervised twice, and fell and tore a gash in his face a few months ago. He’s insufferable, and rambles on about how he never should have married MIL and wished he married his girlfriend in Vietnam. MIL is in tears almost every time we visit and I want her so bad to put him in a home. Thanks for reading my rant, wish me luck

My stepdaughter brought over the new dog she got with her to visit us. We have many cats, some of who hid and some of who were curious and approached. She had a death grip on its collar the whole hour as it lunged for the cats with hackles raised and tail in the air. She said the dog just wanted to play, I was concerned with how aggressive it was acting. I whispered to my husband many times to ask her to leave because it was stressing out our shyer cats. My husband tried to do the Caesar Milan stuff to correct the dog, meanwhile his daughter is all about treats and a happy voice. The dog eventually went to bite one of our chillest cats and I stood up and sternly said “ok, that’s enough”. It sent my stepdaughter into tears from what my husband said because I followed the cat into the other room to make sure it didn’t actually get bitten and she and the dog were gone when I came back. My husband says I’m an asshole and should have just ignored it. I probably tainted my relationship with my stepdaughter but I don’t want my cats to get bit. AITAH?

We have a female neighbor early 20s on our floor. A male neighbor about the same age moved in a few months ago across the yard. She was flirting with him, I explicitly told him not to hook up with her. He did anyway. Then left her for someone else, she spent weeks bitching to my husband about it as if he was a certified therapist, he’s not. Now when we have gatherings in the communal space, bbq and board games and chilling by the fire pit etc, she texts that we’re being too loud and will call in a noise complaint and contact the landlord. It’s ONLY when that guy is there with us, we have many other neighbors who join us routinely and have for years, we get groups of 12+ hanging out , she used to as well before the break up. She only threatens when he joins us, any other time we’re all good, it’s infuriating. I warned the guy. Sorry for the rant just needed to vent into the void