I struggled with body dysmorphia and restricted eating since I hit puberty, but it got really bad my freshman summer when I would eat 1000 calories a day ( 5'8") during marching band when I was outside in the July heat for 8 hours. I had a tendency to go over 1000 calories and each time I did I would get really stressed out and purge all of the food when my parents weren't around. My parents started suspecting me so I began to keep a large water bottle under my bed and would throw up in it then empty the contents, to avoid suspicion. Im not proud of this is the slightest but I can't change it and I feel like in this story I should be transparent with my actions.
My parents were packing for a camping trip when my mom went to grab a pillow for me, it feel under my bed and she found the water bottle that reeked of vomit and they immediately knew what I had been doing and that I had lied to them. I was in the middle of marching band when I got a text with a photo of the water bottle that had a caption like " we know everything, you're so fucked". My dad stormed onto the field and went up into the tower to yell at my director saying he was taking me and then marched back down onto the field where he started screaming and cursing at me in front of everyone.
My parents forced me to go home and wash the bottle and smell it before throwing it away. My father smashed my Chromebook while I was gone and before they dragged me away from the stadium they took everything out of my room besides my bed and shoved it in a spare room. We went on the camping trip and I spent 8 hours in a car crying, while my parents just got more and more irritated at me and my emotions. My father said I was just like my drug addict aunt and that everything I felt was an attempt to manipulate them.
Over the next year I had to win back everything they had taken from my room. They put the items into categories and I would only earn them back if I behaved appropriately. Every electronic was its on category, stuffed animals, wall decor, etc. I remember I was really struggling with my self confidence at the time and I asked if I could borrow my old makeup for a day and my mother exploded at me. Additionally alot of the things we're shoved into the room in such a way that alot of pi3c3s of furniture broke, I remember specifically my mother put q bottle of resin under a weight and it exploded, but the room was locked for months so we didnt find it until much later, she lost her shit at me and I got really mad because she was blaming me for spilling the resin bottle when I wasn't even allowed to breathe anymore, even currently im not allowed to have resin in the house.
Im not sure how to feel about this whole ordeal. If im being honest I resent my parents, I was a kid whose body was constantly scrutinized and it felt that I was never allowed to mess up or else the consequences were always extreme ( this one i do admit wasn't a minor slip up). I felt like I couldn't come to them about this and the entire purging became a cycle when I didnt mean for it to. I feel bad for lying to them and I acknowledge my actions were selfish, but the punishment felt unusually cruel considering they never even actually tried to help me with my ED and I already had issues socializing and my father's stunt at the football stadium led to a lot of gossip about me and shit talking that led to me to quit the club the following year ( since then ive found better friends tho ). Overall im not sure if I am the a-hole or if my parents are.