u/DayAccomplished2651

My (F21) fiancé (M21) has ongoing substance use issues and we live with his family who support me too, I’m unsure what to do next. Help?

I have been with my partner for 5 years. We have lived together that entire time. We are engaged and have already paid for our wedding venue (scheduled in a little over a year.) I love him and his family to death but I'm trying to form some sort of plan in case things don't work out.

My partner has ADHD that he has not made any plans to treat. I also have it, but I am medicated and have been since I was diagnosed because it negatively impacts my functioning. His father has very severe ADHD and is against taking medication for it, he also is a functioning alcoholic. My partner is an addict as well and can't function without smoking weed or drinking daily. This has had a very negative impact on our relationship in the past few years.

6 or so months ago there was an incident where he drank a 750ml bottle of whiskey after getting off of work in his car, and then proceeded to pick up his little brother from a friend's house and drove home. He was so sick I was scared he was going to die from alcohol poisoning and had to call his parents to help me take him to the hospital. I broke up with him and he told me he was done drinking.

I needed to pay off some debt and focus on school so we moved back in with his parents in January. I love his parents so so much and I have become part of their family. They are my only support system and they see me as their kid. They let both of us know from the very start that regardless of our relationship they are my parents and my relationship to them will remain the same.

Right now I am at a standstill. He is still drinking despite it causing me a ton of stress, and spends all his time off smoking weed with friends and playing video games to the point where he forgets we were supposed to spend time together. I am starting to think about the future and have tried to have conversations with him about continuing school, trying to live in some different states in the future, and building up our savings and he continually gets so stressed when these topics come up that he shuts down and the conversation ends there.

I have found outpatient centers for him and sent him information on these. He says he's open to it but I can't get everything set up for him. I got him set up with an individual therapist to help with his substance use and he has been seeing this therapist regularly for awhile but it's not helping. We are now scheduled to start couples therapy starting tomorrow and my therapist is in contact with the couples therapist to give him more background on the situation.

We love each other a ton but I've told him that I can't live like this and I do not want to get married if we don't solve these issues. I will also say that it is not only him. I nag him constantly and am very often upset about the substance use that I end up angry and unwilling to spend time together. We both need to figure out better approaches to communicating and empathizing with each other. He is an incredibly kind person and I know he is struggling, but I want to stay true to myself as well. My therapist thinks that we are good for each other in many ways, and is urging me to give couples therapy a chance before walking away from the relationship.

I guess I just don't know what to do if things don't end up working out. I need a plan. I can't afford to move out of his family home as I'm in debt, my car just got totaled so his parents are helping me cosign a loan for a car and I'm using the settlement money for a down payment, I'm enrolled in school, and I don't have the savings for it. I don't have any friends that I'm able to stay with. I don't have any other family in the state either. I don't want to leave his family and they would be devastated if I left. I hope things get better but I have absolutely no plan B and need help coming up with one so that I can stick to my boundaries if needed. His mom told me if things don't work out she wants me to stay in school and not to derail my life over this relationship. They also offered me my own bedroom. I'm hoping this will work but I don't know. I would appreciate any advice or words of understanding if you have experienced something similar.

TLDR: I love my partner and his family, who are also my only support system, but his addiction and lack of follow through are making me question our future. We’re trying therapy, and I could stay with them if we split, but I still feel stuck and unsure what to do.

reddit.com
u/DayAccomplished2651 — 7 days ago

I’ve been with my partner for 5 years and we’ve lived together that whole time. When we first got together, we both watched porn and I didn’t really mind it. During a period where I was dealing with some mental health stuff, I gained a lot of weight, and he was liking/viewing videos of girls who looked very different from me. Sometimes he would do it in front of me or revisit specific girls’ pages a lot. It made me feel awful about myself and I stopped wanting to have sex. It felt like a betrayal because it wasn’t just random porn, it felt more targeted and interactive.

About a year later he told me porn made him uncomfortable and he wanted to stop watching it completely, and he also didn’t want me watching it. For the past 3 years we’ve both agreed not to.

I’ve had a hard time getting back in touch with my sexuality during that time. Recently I went on his phone (with permission) and it was open to a secret Twitter account where he was following a bunch of OF girls. That really hurt, especially because he was the one who set those boundaries and I’ve been respecting them. He said it’s because I don’t send nudes and he doesn’t have “material,” but I don’t send anything because I struggle to feel sexual or sexy when I’m alone.

Recently I started reading romance/erotica as kind of a workaround, and it honestly helped my libido a lot and even improved our sex life. When I told him, it turned into an argument. He sees it the same as porn and doesn’t like it.

I’m wondering if it’s time to have a conversation and set new boundaries around porn/sexual content. I feel like it helps me get in touch with my sexuality, and I don’t really mind him engaging with it as long as it doesn’t interfere with our sex life, he’s not paying for it or interacting with creators, and I’m not seeing stuff that makes me compare myself. How do I start that conversation in a positive way, and what are some healthy boundaries to set?

TL;DR: My partner and I agreed to stop watching porn 3 years ago, but I recently found a secret account where he follows OF creators. I feel hurt and hypocritical since I’ve respected his boundary. At the same time, reading erotica has helped my libido and improved our sex life, but he sees it as the same as porn and doesn’t approve. How do I approach a conversation about redefining boundaries around sexual content in a way that feels fair to both of us?

reddit.com
u/DayAccomplished2651 — 10 days ago

I am particularly interested in flushed blush and rosy lip shades/liners that will give a similar effect to hers. I am looking for an under eye brightener as well. The second photo is a zoomed in picture of my skin/lip and under eye colors in natural lighting because I know that will effect how colors layer on top of my skin.

u/DayAccomplished2651 — 10 days ago