We're going on an extended family holiday and will be her birthday while abroad.
Separated for just over two weeks. What kind of card to I get her? One which says wife or just a basic Happy Birthday card?
Hi,
Together for 10 years, married for 5 and have a 3 year old together.
She ended it just over two weeks ago. She thought I was falling back into the old version of myself from a few months back prior to my counseling.
Despite this being the hardest two weeks of my life, I have remained calm and polite. No anger, no hatred no arguments. The old version of me what have handled this totally different and one good thing is that I can see how far i've come personally on my journey.
Communication seems to be better between us now then it has been for years. That's what I find so difficult as we're still living together.
Small glimmers of hope, but I put this down to false hope. She knows we would have to sell the house, but she bought new furniture for her bedroom today. As we'd have to downsize and we have a lot of stuff, that seemed odd.
Asking if I wouldn't mind having our daughter in December so she could go to the Christmas markets as she knows i'm off on that day, but only if that's ok with me. - Seems a bit early to plan then when we don't know where we'll be living etc.
Getting a tattoo and starting it with 'I didn't do it out of spite'. I said how nice it was and asked a few questions. She said six years ago when she mentioned getting a tattoo we didn't talk for 2 days. All I could say was sorry, that was the old version of myself. Made me feel like she was fishing for a reaction.
We have a large family holiday in 2 weeks time for a week. Will see how things are when we get back, if there is any actual hope of reconciliation- if not will be time to have the chat about selling the house and moving forward. That's going to be tough - How do you start to prepare yourself for that?
Really struggling tonight.
10 years together, married for 5. We have a 3 year old daughter.
She ended the relation 2 weeks tomorrow. Said we can't be the best versions of ourselves together. I accepted her decision, not that I agree with it.
Still living together and civil for our daughter.
I came off Facebook just before this happened. Popped on a few days ago to check something and then deactivated again. Did the same tonight, it loaded to my profile and I see it just says 'Married since 2021' - No name. Looked at hers and it's blank now.
Hit me so hard. Something so trivial, so petty. Why would this be at the top of someones list of things to do. Left the house and went for a 3 hour walk. It's currently 0336 and i'm doing the nursery run in the morning.
Close friends and family knew we separated, but why do something like that on social media. I accept the decision even more now, don't even want to be in the same house as her.
Hi everyone,
I'm 42M and she's 36F. We have a 3 year old daughter. Together for 10 years, married for 5.
We had a difficult patch during the middle of February. I took everything onboard and started counselling and am on medication. We also spoke about marriage counselling. I feel like a new person, the person i've always wanted to be. Over the month things improved between us. She put on her wedding rings again and intimacy returned. I brought up marriage counselling again and she said she doesn't think we need it now, as we're communicating.
However over the following weeks she seemed to get distant. Like I was putting in all the effort and not getting any in return.
Her sister messaged her and suggested she brings up marriage counselling again. She did and I agreed to it. I said i;ve always been for it. Apparently she told her sister she wants to do it and not lose us.
Less then 48 hours she says its over for good and took her wedding rings back off. She doesn't want counselling or marriage counselling.
I'm just still getting my head around how things changed so quickly.
Hi everyone. I've tried to keep this as short as possible whilst trying to keep the important parts in!
I’m M (42) and my wife is F (36). We have a 3-year-old daughter together.
I’ve had issues with anxiety/depression in the past and have used private services for medication. I always turned down therapy, which I now regret. One of my main triggers has been large gatherings.
For my daughter’s 3rd birthday, my wife organised a party with around 29 family and friends. I really struggled with it. After the party, once our daughter was in bed, we argued.
I ended up staying in a hotel for 4 nights. During that time I was still doing nursery runs and bringing our daughter back home. My wife told me some hard truths, which were difficult to hear but I accepted them.
That was February 2026. I contacted my GP and started therapy because I knew I couldn’t carry on as I was.
Therapy has honestly worked wonders. I feel like a completely different person, and others have noticed too — especially her family.
In March 2026 we went on a family break. We got close again, even intimate, and she put her wedding rings back on. We had discussed marriage counselling before, but on the way home she said she didn’t think we needed it anymore as we were talking again.
Once we got back, things slowly drifted. I felt like I’d changed, but there was no real affection from her side. About a week ago I probably took a step back.
Five days ago her sister mentioned marriage counselling again. My wife said she was open to it and didn’t want to lose the relationship. She asked me, and I said I’d always been open to it.
Then three days ago everything changed.
We went to a shop together, split up briefly to grab a few things, and I said I’d meet her at the car. When we got home she seemed upset. I asked what was wrong and she said that moment in the shop “summed us up”.
She said she’s had enough, can’t do it anymore, and that it’s over. She took her wedding rings off.
Later that evening she said no one is listening to her, she doesn’t want counselling or marriage counselling, and she just wants to be happy — and that isn’t with me.
She also said she loves me, but is not in love with me.
She also said that two people asked her if it wasn’t for the house and our daughter would she would have left years ago and she said yes.
She told me she still resents me for some things I said in the past. I was horrified when she first told me those things a few months ago, and all I could do was apologise.
Before she left for work that night, she did come to me, held my hand, and said she was sorry.
I’ve went to stay in a hotel for a few days while she was working and our daughter is with her mum.
I fully accept and appreciate her decision, even though I don't agree with it, however that's not my choice.
We've got an extended family holiday abroad at the end of May. All her family still think I should go and want me there.
So back home today. Wasn't as bad as I expected. I thought I would break down being back in the house and seeing her, but the total opposite.
All was civil, I popped out for an hour to have a counselling call.
After we put our daughter to bed, she instigated a conversation. She said she was sorry and that this was sad. That she had checked out and that we couldn't be the best versions of ourselves together.
She mentioned the shopping trip on Friday. She said I walked behind her going to the shop, didn't shop with her and that I ignored her when she looked and smiled at me at the till. She said she knew then that this was it.
I explained that I was walking behind as I was checking my app to see why the Dr had called me in the car. I said you was looking at the shampoos and I went to grab the few bits I needed. I found you, said if you wanted a look around I would meet you at the car. This was so I could call the Dr back. I also said I was looking around whilst waiting at the till, however I honestly never saw you. If I had an my queue was shorted I would have signaled you to come over. If I saw you and you smiled, I certainly would have smiled back. She didn't believe me, but I promised her 100% this was the case.
Family trip in a few weeks for our daughter is going ahead. Large family holiday still going ahead. We agreed to cancel a holiday in September.
She was very emotional during all this. I had to go and get her some tissues. I was calm and collected and said I understand why she has done this. I did tell her I wanted the relationship to work, but understand why she has made this decision. I didn't want her to think I didn't care because I was calm and not emotional.
It was hard to see her struggling.
Just taking things one day at a time and would appreciate any advice!
tl;dr I’ve struggled with anxiety for years which put pressure on the relationship, but after things came to a head in Feb 2026 I started therapy and have made big changes. We had a brief period in March where things felt good again, but in reality she’d already started to check out emotionally. Despite both of us being open to counselling, she’s now ended things, saying she loves me but isn’t in love with me anymore and doesn’t see a future together. A small moment in a shop became the tipping point for her, even though it was a misunderstanding from my side. I’m trying to stay calm, respect her decision, and focus on being there for our daughter while taking things one day at a time.
Hi everyone. I've tried to keep this as short as possible whilst trying to keep the important parts in!
I’m M (42) and my wife is F (36). We have a 3-year-old daughter together.
I’ve had issues with anxiety/depression in the past and have used private services for medication. I always turned down therapy, which I now regret. One of my main triggers has been large gatherings.
For my daughter’s 3rd birthday, my wife organised a party with around 29 family and friends. I really struggled with it. After the party, once our daughter was in bed, we argued.
I ended up staying in a hotel for 4 nights. During that time I was still doing nursery runs and bringing our daughter back home. My wife told me some hard truths, which were difficult to hear but I accepted them.
That was February 2026. I contacted my GP and started therapy because I knew I couldn’t carry on as I was.
Therapy has honestly worked wonders. I feel like a completely different person, and others have noticed too — especially her family.
In March 2026 we went on a family break. We got close again, even intimate, and she put her wedding rings back on. We had discussed marriage counselling before, but on the way home she said she didn’t think we needed it anymore as we were talking again.
Once we got back, things slowly drifted. I felt like I’d changed, but there was no real affection from her side. About a week ago I probably took a step back.
Five days ago her sister mentioned marriage counselling again. My wife said she was open to it and didn’t want to lose the relationship. She asked me, and I said I’d always been open to it.
Then three days ago everything changed.
We went to a shop together, split up briefly to grab a few things, and I said I’d meet her at the car. When we got home she seemed upset. I asked what was wrong and she said that moment in the shop “summed us up”.
She said she’s had enough, can’t do it anymore, and that it’s over. She took her wedding rings off.
Later that evening she said no one is listening to her, she doesn’t want counselling or marriage counselling, and she just wants to be happy — and that isn’t with me.
She also said she loves me, but is not in love with me.
She also said that two people asked her if it wasn’t for the house and our daughter would she would have left years ago and she said yes.
She told me she still resents me for some things I said in the past. I was horrified when she first told me those things a few months ago, and all I could do was apologise.
Before she left for work that night, she did come to me, held my hand, and said she was sorry.
I’ve gone to stay in a hotel for a few days while she’s working and our daughter is with her mum. I’m going back home tomorrow when my daughter returns.
I fully accept and appreciate her decision, even though I don't agree with it, however that's not my choice.
We've got an extended family holiday abroad at the end of May. All her family still think I should go and want me there.
From what I’ve read, living together while separated feels like a bit of a minefield — and that’s where I’m heading now.
Just taking things one day at a time and would appreciate any advice!