u/CuriousRat39

I tried everything to get out of this hell of a disorder. Taking antidepressants, being treated for ADHD, therapy, yoga, sports, sleeping 8 hours a day, journaling, socialising, working out.

I have the best grades in my class, have an awesome job, the body I yearned for years, friends, family, a routine, enough money to live comfortably.

There was a time where I had none. It was very hard, but I got very disciplined and got over it all just to make myself finally happy. I worked so hard but it‘s all for nothing. Why can‘t I just be happy? Why does everything still feel senseless? My dreams come true, my goals are reached and there are many more to reach. But why does it all feel so pointless? Why do I find myself crying for no reason every night? I don‘t understand. My life is supposed to be perfect. Does anyone feel the same?

I tried everything to get out of this hell of a disorder. Taking antidepressants, being treated for ADHD, therapy, yoga, sports, , sleeping 8 hours a day, journaling, socialising, working out.

I have the best grades in my class, have an awesome job, the body I yearned for years, friends, family, a routine, enough money to live comfortably.

There was a time where I had none. It was very hard, but I got over it all just to make myself finally happy. I worked so hard but it‘s all for nothing. Why can‘t I just be happy? Why does everything still feel senseless? My dreams come true, my goals are reached and there are many more to reach. But why does it all feel so pointless? Why do I find myself crying for no reason every night? I don‘t understand. My life is supposed to be perfect. I just want to get out of this shithole.

I‘m 19m and started Vyanse a few months after being diagnosed with ADHD for a long time. I started with Methylphenidate which was awful on my system, then changed to Vyanse and it took a lot of adjustments to find the right dosing. But now I‘ve found it, and it feels like heaven. Like a drug that actually makes me function. I‘m aware that this is common and is the „honeymoon“ effect, however it still makes me feel like that and makes me feel like my life is actually worth living.

But I have crippling anxiety about getting addicted or dependent on the drug. I developed SSRI dependency syndrome which makes me dependent on SSRIs even though I don‘t have depression anymore. I‘m afraid the same thing will happen with Vyanse.

That‘s why I‘ve been taking breaks, 1-3 days every week and I take a lower dose on the days I don‘t have to stay productive.

But those days are hell. I recall my old days being exactly like that, whereas my mother says I‘m worse now. I can‘t get out of bed, sleep more than 14 hours, and even if I‘m up, I cannot find energy to do anything other than scrolling on my phone. My mind is full of fog and I can‘t function if I‘m awake for more than 4 hours at a time.

Maybe it‘s more extreme now, but I used to be similar before as I‘ve been diagnosed with hypersomnia but doctors couldn’t find the cause. I‘d sleep 12-13 hours a day and stay sleepy the whole day.

I don‘t want to experience that again. But I don‘t want to get addicted to Vyanse either. But, why did yall decide to quit vyanse? What was the wake up call? I‘m trying to find out if my wake up call is there already. Thank you.

Do not and I repeat DO NOT start gaming before you study.

Gaming is NOT a relaxing hobby. It demands energy and focus. You won‘t feel more eager to learn if you „play just for 1 hour“. You will drain all your mental energy and won‘t be able to learn anything at all. Just throw that day in the bin already.

When you wake up, your dopamine resets. Make a plan everyday of how much you have to learn or how many materials. No time, but real materials. You have to start doing them immediately after your morning routine. If you can‘t hold a morning routine, then do them immediately after waking up.

You may take breaks, naps, anything, but NO GAMING during breaks. If it‘s really hard, you may even doomscroll. But you may NOT start gaming until you‘re done with your material for the day. You will eventually stop doomscrolling so that you can start gaming sooner. That‘s the reason why I said plan materials instead of time.

And when you‘re done, you may finally start gaming. It doesn’t matter if you‘re done at 2pm or 11pm. It doesn‘t matter if you woke up at 6am or 1pm. What matters is that, you used that wake-up dopamine to learn, and can now reward yourself guilt-free afterwards. Since you used that energy to study, you‘ll even notice that you want to game less and get some sleep. Tomorrow, you wake up, you repeat.

I started doing this a few months ago and it has been working perfectly. I used to procrastinate until the deadline, have major anxiety or just not learn at all.

Now I have no anxiety or guilt at all, since I know that my reward is granted, and my grades haven‘t been better. It also makes learning way less depressing, since you‘re looking forward to your game, almost like when you bought a new game as a kid and can‘t wait to go home to play it.

Oh and also, set your goals small if you can‘t start. 15 minutes of studying is still better than no studying. And 15 minutes of everyday studying for 2 weeks is better than 10 hours of studying sleep deprived in 1 day.

The important thing is that, you feel that reward and condition your brain to work for it. If my advice wouldn’t work because you can‘t force yourself to study all your materials before gaming, then choose the smallest one. One that takes 15 minutes. Then game and reward your brain. As your brain gets used to the pattern, it gets way easier, and soon you‘ll be able to study hours longer, and more efficiently.

Ich habe mich an der WHU beworben, nachdem ich erfahren habe, dass BAföG-Empfänger von den Studiengebühren (9.100 € pro Semester) befreit werden können. Heute habe ich meine Zusage erhalten.

Vor der Bewerbung habe ich mich intensiv mit der Uni beschäftigt. Die Rankings sind sehr gut, und unter den Alumni sind Gründer einiger der deutschen Unicorns wie Zalando, Flixbus uzw.

Was mir Sorgen macht: Ich komme aus einem einkommensschwachen Umfeld und würde mein gesamtes Studium über BAföG und Nebenjobs finanzieren. Viele Studierende dort stammen dagegen vermutlich aus wohlhabenderen Familien, haben bereits Kontakte und können leichter Risiken eingehen, z. B. bei Start-ups. Auch wenn mein Studium und meine Karriere für mich im Vordergrund stehen, frage ich mich, ob ich mich dort fehl am Platz fühlen könnte.

Meine Alternativen wären Universität Heidelberg, Universität Mannheim und Universität Münster, wobei ich realistisch gesehen wahrscheinlich nur in Münster einen Platz bekomme, da die NCs der anderen sehr hoch sind.

Ich habe versucht, mir ein möglichst umfassendes Bild von außen zu machen, aber die Meinungen sind sehr gemischt. Erfahrungsberichte von BSc-Studierenden habe ich nicht gefunden. Die Google Reviews sagen, dort seien viele „Nepo-Kids“, die es nicht an staatliche Unis geschafft haben und beschreiben die Studierenden als arrogant oder unsympathisch. MBA-Studierende äußern sich oft positiv, gehen aber eher auf die Lehre ein als auf das Umfeld. Auffällig ist auch, dass es auf Social Media keine unabhängige Einblicke gibt, sondern fast nur Inhalte von der Uni selbst.

Mich würde interessieren, wie realistisch meine Bedenken sind und ob jemand aus eigener Erfahrung berichten kann. Auch gern per DM, falls ihr nicht öffentlich schreiben wollt. Danke!