u/Crescentbrush

Before "Frozen 2," I didn't have too strong feelings on Elsa and Anna's parents since they had the classic Disney deaths and didn't haunt the narrative (well, not overtly). But after the sequel was released and re-watching the first film, I do have a bit of thoughts, which may or may not contradict with the fanbase's opinion.

With the release of "Kpop Demon Hunters" and the discussion of Celine and Rumi, I'm often comparing them to Agnarr and Elsa. Granted, they never got to have a raw conversation when Elsa unlocked her powers like Celine and Rumi did, and I doubt it would be as open as theirs was (I think Disney would just have Agnarr apologize for mishandling Elsa without Elsa turning villainous or giving into despair). That said, I don't dislike Agnarr. I actually find him quite misunderstood. Just looking at the first film, we see that magic is something viewed with suspicion and in the "less civilized" areas, with the family having to go a distance to cure Anna. Along with this, Agnarr is royalty; whatever your view on monarchy is, they have a concept of "image is everything," thus explaining why Agnarr's default response to Elsa's situation was to simply be composed and neutral. We don't get to see him rule so we can't compare exactly, but it obviously seems to be something that he truly believes. He loves Elsa, but he doesn't know how to address her situation. And let's be real: no one would know how to handle their kid having powerful abilities that are both manual and automatic, depending on emotions. I used to think that Agnarr and Iduna were actually educating both Anna and Elsa as monarchs in case Elsa proved too volatile, but after some time, I realize how casual and silly Anna is, largely because she grew up. She was stuck in her childhood with limited staff and exposure to the outside world. She remembered a time when Elsa and her had fun. But Agnarr and Iduna probably let her live innocently and with less strict parenting due to her having to be isolated through no fault of her own (well, it wasn't Elsa's fault either, but you get the idea). Meanwhile, Elsa got the strictness, the formality, the true royal treatment while Anna was raised like she was down the line of succession rather than the spare, similar to Hans. In the first film, Agnarr takes the lead, the focus, while Iduna is more in support without saying too much or voicing her own ideas. Looking back on it, it would've been interesting if they did the dead mom thing and let Agnarr live, focusing on a father-daughter dynamic and seeing how he treated his daughters differently. Plus it works out better with the sequel in mind...

In the sequel, Iduna takes the focus. Agnarr still talks and explains the Northuldra/Arendelle interaction and conflict a bit, but the influence is all Iduna now, even giving her the opening song. Her and Agnarr's friendship and romance was largely scaled down (I still remember the trailers with them and everyone hoping Iduna was Elsa's love interest), only being mentioned in short, brief moments, the story of which we never get the full image of in the final film. But when Elsa goes to follow the voice, the voice turns out to be Iduna's; IDUNA is the one to support and encourage Elsa and her powers, a stark contrast to Agnarr's parenting style and her role in the first film. We never even get to hear it explained why she didn't support Elsa during her younger years when she was still alive. And it's even more bittersweet when you see her mom, previously a background character, take up such an important role of helping Elsa embrace her true self, but Agnarr doesn't appear to talk to Elsa in Ahtohallan, leaving behind the reputation of him essentially telling her to repress herself (however well-intentioned he may have been) while Iduna tells her the opposite. It's weird to me how the film offers closure for only one of the parents. Again, I think it could've been stronger if Iduna was the only one who died so we could still get her "Show Yourself" moment while Agnarr was still alive to deal with the consequences of his parenting and move forward.

Overall, I feel like the treatment of parents in "Frozen," while probably on the stronger side of parents who are dead in Disney films, are on the weaker side of modern Disney family members in general. I understand that the first film was made to be one-and-done, but the sequel felt uneven with how it expanded on Iduna but still left Agnarr in his same stance--and thus get the brunt of the criticism from fans.

(Also sad side note: I think Anna and Kristoff are the first romantic Disney couple since Milo and Kida to have neither of their parents survive by the end of their film.)

You don't know me, and I don't know you, but I hope you're having a good day! I don't post here often, but I thought it'd be a nice diffusion of any tension I have gained throughout the week to share some anecdotes from my life, and maybe help you as well. All summarized for both your convenience--and mine so I don't get carpal tunnel as fast as possible.

1. I'll start with an AITA. I was hanging out with my friend Beck at the mall. Beck is MLM like me, and he was seeing someone, Steve. While we're walking around and talking, he's also texting his guy Steve. I'm not a fan of Steve since he came across as too flirty for me, both to myself and others, as well as being a guy with a history of being friends with his exes and ex-FWBs. But I didn't really have to deal with him that often, so I didn't spend much thought on him. Steve texts Beck saying that he's out running errands, and that he could come over to hang out. Beck tells me this, but what he didn't tell me was that he told Steve to bring a friend over with him. On my two meetings with Beck,he mentioned setting me up with one of his friends, but I mentioned that I'm not interested since it'd probably been someone he was romantically and/or sexually involved with in the past and didn't feel comfortable with this. But lo and behold, Steve shows up with his friend, Dave. I didn't know Dave, so I was just positive and friendly when they arrived, but Beck and Steve quickly branched off from us. Dave started off cool with me at first, but he started to get a little too close, sitting next to me at the food court, leaning in close when talking, putting his hands on me. Dave wasn't unattractive, but I'm a romance first, sex later-type of guy, and I needed to know a guy before making it engaging in romance. Needless to say, he was coming on too strong, and I told him that I was uncomfortable. He seemed to interpret this as me being nervous in a crowd, so when I went to the bathroom, he followed me (I guess that's the thing that sucks about trying to avoid someone of the same sex). It made me even more anxious that I couldn't find or get a hold of Beck, especially since he was the one who had drove us to the mall, and I was freaking out at the idea that he'd left with Steve, since that'd mean I was stuck there and Dave wouldn't leave even if I dodged him for a bit. Thankfully, I was able to track down Beck, but he completely dismissed my concerns. He said I was being rude and wishy-washy since I mentioned on more on one occasion about wanting to date more. He told me that I was just paranoid after being assaulted prior, and even said this to Dave and Steve, exposing my wariness to Dave in the process. I was mortified, and I slapped him in the face (I had my head on straight not to punch him), and I pushed Dave and Steve out of the way. Afterwards, Beck called and asked me to drop him off at the dentist since his car was in the shop. I said sure, and I apologized to him, though I admittedly hoped for one from him. When he didn't, I asked him why he said what he said, and he said that I'm "not open with people" and I was repressed for not wanting to have sex with a guy who shows me interest and I found attractive. Plus he mentioned that it was nothing to be ashamed of that I was SA and that I shouldn't be mad at him for mentioning it to his boyfriend and a guy I "needed to give a chance." I felt even more frustrated, but he cut me off to go into the office, and I decided to leave him there. He called me a couple times, and eventually I felt guilty enough to answer, but I made up a lie that something had came up, and I'm pretty sure he got the message. We haven't spoken in a year. Did I overreact about this?
2. This is one I can laugh about now, but I still cringe a little bit. When I was on vacation with my family (as an adult), I remember seeing this guy in the lobby. I'd see him occasionally around the hotel, and I was working up the courage to talk to him. I'm not DL, but I am private about my sexuality unless it comes up naturally. Not only did I want to make sure he was gay, but I didn't want to flirt or ask him out with a bunch of people around and be in my business--especially not my family; too embarrassing. But I kept psyching myself out. At this point, I'd only dated a couple of times and only one was serious, which was a serious bummer. The guy sat with a girl, and while I was about to get bummed out, I heard the girl say "the last guy you were into" and then that was pretty much all I needed to hear. I was only 19, but it still hurt to be alone. So I spent some time researching, as well as trying to calculate when my family would be out of the way to avoid embarrassment. I considered wearing something rainbow themed--but there's a constant battle of "that automatically means you're gay" and "people can just like multiple colors" to the point where I wasn't sure if it would do any good. So I thought maybe I should wear something eye-catching, but I couldn't be too obvious without my family catching on, and I didn't wanna hear any griping. So I eventually just said "screw it" and thought "hey, maybe I'll see him in the breakfast area tomorrow." But as it happens, that was the day that he wasn't there. I was starting to get nervous since our vacation time was winding down, and maybe he'd even left. Or maybe I wouldn't recognize him; every day I saw him, he wore the same red jacket, and it was possible that he simply stopped wearing it, or it got dirty or something. I'm an overthinker by nature, as you can see, so I was stressed about missing my chance. I recall a similar experience with a guy at the jewelry store and never really making my move. I generally rely on other guys to make the first move (both then and now), but I was always told about being motivated and going for what I wanted. So I was patient, and two days before I was supposed to leave, I saw him again. He walked past me, and I had to do a double take. I hadn't been paying attention, but I realized him just as he crossed me, but I could only check out the back of his head. That, along with his side profile, was all that I'd gotten to see of his face, and something felt off. Realizing I didn't want the chance to slip by, I walked in the same direction as him, and I heard him talking a bit with a friend. He sounded like a fem gay man. Hmm, not really my type, but I didn't wanna write him off too quickly. As they walked out the hotel doors, I kinda realized I couldn't really follow them, both legally and practically, since they probably drove. But for whatever reason, he turned around and started walking back to the hotel. My first thought: "Maybe this is fate! Maybe we're meant to go out." But I can tell you...it wasn't fate, because for the first time I saw him from the front...and he was a girl. Gotta say, I'm glad I didn't waste all my vacation time, but I did feel kind of embarrassed. It also wasn't lost on me that I was experiencing a lot of straight guys did: chasing after a girl. Live and learn, I guess.
3. One day when I was hanging out with a friend because my power had went out, we had an experience. He was of ambiguous sexuality (I have a mixed group of friends, sexually-speaking), but he was so vague about compliments and jokes that I just wrote him off of any relationship besides friendship. I was fine with that since I didn't seek out friends for sex or romance, and I didn't wanna blur the lines anyway, but I was also lamenting on how hard it is to have intimate male friendships, lol. Both the straight guys and gay guys have it hard in that regard. Anyway, ambiguous friend (let's call him Tony) is a night owl, and I had a long day since it was a Friday, so I went to bed. It's important to note that by this point I hadn't dated for a few weeks and hadn't had sex in about a months and a half, so I was going through a dry spell. I had somewhat of a wet dream, though I can't remember what it was about, only that it did NOT end in wetness. When I opened my eyes, it was pitch black, and I couldn't see anything other than the vague light outside the room coming from my friend's office/man cave/gameroom. I got up to poke my head out just to see if he was still up since I was feeling hungry, and I caught him having some "up" time. He was obviously trying to keep it down, but the murmuring and moans made a really great ASMR affect that scratched my brain just the right way. I didn't wanna be a creep and watch him, but I was still half asleep, horny, and my ears were still working. Since I had stayed there for a couple days, I had made a couple trips back to my place for essentials and luxuries, including a toy. I didn't really use toys often since I can get off just with my front, but I was kinda itching for something inside me. I inserted the toy inside me while listening to his moans, laying in bed just in case I didn't hear him finish and he came into the room to go to bed. But you're not always at your smartest when you're half horny, half tired, and the moment I finished, I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning, I quickly cleaned up and found he cooked breakfast. It seemed normal and mundane, until he said, "So, you had a fun time last night." I played dumb, until he revealed I'd left my toy (which had been muffled when he was gaming) on, and he thought it was my phone, lifting up my covers to find the toy still in me and my boxers on the floor. I was mortified, but he was a good sport about it, saying every guy needs to get off, and each one has their own way of doing it. I appreciated his understanding instead of feeling uncomfortable--which is why I NEVER told him what got me off in the first place.

I know this isn't really the subreddit to use like a personal journal, but it was a thought I had. I may delete this later.