Brother turned 18 and started becoming disrespectful
Problem/Goal: Little brother turned 18 last year lang and is growing to become more and more rude and disrespectful each day. Hindi ko alam anong gagawin ko as a big sister, kung puberty ba 'yan or peer influence. Lumaki kaming close and hindi spoiled, hindi rin pala-social media.
Context: He started having a close barkada that inspired him to go to the gym and study well – we've met them, and mukha naman na good influence sila, especially since I've heard their conversations (through calls) when I eavesdropped in the past, where they'd remind each other to be moral and respectful. Then ayun, naging 18 lang siya, nilabag na niya 'yung rule namin na curfew ng 10 PM ng walang pasabi—everyone is home/asleep before that hour kasi and we keep the gate locked for safety reasons, and hindi namin siya nabigyan ng susi kasi nga 'di niya kami nasabihan. He started making a ruckus outside by banging the gate (making noise/screaming) and even broke the lock, which counterintuitively locked both us in and him outside (lmao 😭). Ayan tuloy, pati kapitbahay pinagalitan siya. Nakakahiya. All he said was, "18 na ako. I can do what I want."
As time passes by, he also started to scream at my grandma kapag pinapagalitan siya kasi medyo tamad sa house – occasionally, he feels too lazy to shower kaya namamaho talaga siya, even his friends pointed it out. I feel sad that he's turning out to be an unhygienic gym rat. Burara sa gamit ta's laging nagdadabog dahil nagmamadali siya. Kapag kinausap naman, he'd apologize and try to make up for it. Open naman kami sa isa't-isa and admitted siya na may insecurity siya, feeling niya raw lahat ng ginagawa niya mali. Laging gentle approach ko sa kaniya.
A few weeks ago, nagluto ako ng handmade dumplings for dinner. I spent hours on something na dapat para sa buong family hanggang kinabukasan. Next morning, I found out na hindi nakakain 'yung iba kasi inubos pala ni lil' bro lahat 🙃 I still find it crazy na kinain niya LAHAT, all FIFTEEN (15) leftover pieces! First time ko siyang masigawan nun. Alam niya na nagtitipid kami especially with the bills. Sabi niya kinain daw niya kasi mapapanis lang daw, pero when I asked bakit hindi niya nilagay sa ref, biglang sabi na nag-stress eat raw siya. I was so pissed na I heard him cry kasi usually gentle nga approach ko, ngayon ko lang siya hindi pinansin sa galit at sa inis ko. Siya rin pinakamalakas kumain sa'min kasi nagbo-body build siya and need daw niya ng more protein.
A few days ago rin, napanis lahat ng ingredients para sa small business niya kasi tinamad siya gumawa 🫠 We didn't nag him for what happened kasi we know naman na it'll just make it worse – ilang beses na rin namin siya binigyan ng warning before. Kanina, he made a clumsy mistake when baking, causing him to shout while mom was beside him, kaya napagsabihan. Ayun, sagot ng sagot, saying hurtful words towards my mom na hindi naman aggressive sa kaniya. I hate that I feel like alam niyang tumatanda na sina mama and are getting weaker, so he feels like pwede na siya mag-ganiyan. Hays.
Hindi na rin kami masyadong naguusap since he disrespected me. Ako rin kasi nasisigawan na niya. I still help him with cleaning up and take over some chores when I know na overstimulated siya.
TL;DR little brother just turned 18 and started to act like a dickhead with newly-found bad manners and attitudes 😕 I love my brother, but now he's growing up to be someone I feel embarrassed to be related to.
Previous Attempts: As mentioned, we've properly talked about it, both gently and harshly. Nag him or not, he still has an attitude. We tried to make him face his own consequences, pero naging burara naman ke't saan siya maupo at pabaya sa sarili. Puberty lang ba 'yan? Should I just let things flow on its own?