u/Consistent_Newt_4243

I(17F) had a fight with my mom last week(42F) and she has been giving me the silent treatment for some time. It got so bad I cried my eyes out in front of my sibling about how nobody wants to talk to me in the family (then they started crying lmao) and they had to call my dad to tell him to do something. So basically, I was at fault in the fight, I accept it, there was a delivery package at the door and when my mom asked who it was, I told her 5 times calmly, but I shouted on the 6th time. Idk why she literally took it for so many things it was not, I shouted a bit louder than I should have because I had air pods in, and I apologised for it, but she took it as me getting irritated whenever she says something to me, so she won't talk to me now so I won't get irritated. The thing is, I don't like being shouted at 24-7 for anything I do or don't do, which is why sometimes I get irritated. She said that we live our own lives separately now since I have grown up and don't need her, and that's exactly what's happening, I feel like I just exist in the house. Then my dad first scolded me for raising my voice(valid) and then tried to talk to mom but idk how the convo went as I didn't hear it. Ever since she responds when I say something, but in a very cold way, never initiates talk. I have trouble waking up early in the morning even after several alarms, so I have always asked my mom to wake me up, but she isn't doing that either (ik she isn't obliged to, but she has been kind enough to do that), she doesn't even look at me. If I say anything she tries to keep the response short, like an ok of just hm and goes back to whatever she was doing. Yesterday I went out with friends and wanted to show her some pictures, but then she would look when I looked at her, nodded slightly, and as soon as I turn away, she was back to her phone...Earlier she would ask me questions on what did you guys do and stuff. And the thing is, I miss the constant nagging, because that is all she said to me and it's eating me alive. I was sick in the morning and took some medicine, she saw that but didn't even turn to look at me or ask me what happened. Atp I could die in front of her and she wouldn't care. All the while she is the same with my siblings, and that hurts me. I have already apologized to her 3 days in a row, what more can I do? I want her to talk to me and I hate this...She has literally stopped caring for me

I(17F) had a fight with my mom yesterday. Basically she asked me who was at the door and after calmly telling her 5 times that it was amazon delivery I kind of shouted the 6th time. She got SO mad after this. She again started with the rant about how ungrateful I was, how giving me freedom has caused this. After a 15min lecture, I went to my room and she has been giving the silent treatment now. I tried to apoloogise in the evening, but she said somethings that hurt me really bad, but I know better that saying anything would make things exponentially worse, like anything I say is talking back and I can't ever tell my side of the story it's so frustrating. I was wrong for raising my voice, I was and I apologised, not just yesterday but today as well, but after apologising she woulld just say that "You don't need me anymore, you are all grown up now and I don't know anything. I am the one at fault here and I am improving myself. If I don't talk to you aand don't say anything to you, you will not get irritated" I GET IRRITATED BECAUSE SHE NAGS ME FOR ANYTHING I DO, like anything I do is so wrong that I don't deserve to live. She wants me to be mature and help her with stuff and take responsibility, but not mature enough to for my own opinion and be independent and defend myself and this is so frustrating. She says that she will not say anything to me and says that I live my own life and she lives her own. She said it's good I will be going away for college soon anyways, so I won't have to deal with her(she said this not me). She can be hurt at the littlest things, but I can't be hurt at anything she says?

This is killing me inside bruh, I feel like a ghost in my own house. I want things to go back to normal. Usually this would last till I said sorry but this time I have apologised 3 times at different times and multiple times, but she just lectures me and goes back to giving me the silent treatment.I have been enduring this ever since I was a kid, but what kills me inside is seeing that my sibling(both younger) have never experienced this, they have done worse things, thing I couldn't have imagined saying as a child, and it's flicked away because they are younger. When they say something bad and I try to scold them she says that I am so harsh with them and it turns into another lecture to me being that what will people think if I do this in public, which is why I don't scold them in public, so wth? Whenever I try to bring this up she says why am I try to compare myself to them they are younger and gets defensive...like I was young as well...way younger than they are when it started for me....and then this turns into a lecture again. Idk what to do anymore tbh

So I(17F) is going through this rght now with my mother. It was over be raising my voice slighly cuz my mom asked who was at the door and I had already said 5 times it was delivery and kind of shouted the 6th time. She then went on to state how ungrateful I am, and everything that I am not, she then made connections of this action to giving me too much freedom, which is why I am becoming like this and so many things she said were not even closely related to this. Now ever since she hasn't talked to me today. Anything she had to ask would be through my sibling. I said sorry so many times, but she said somethings that were so hurtful that I almost cried. Like it was my fault I admit it I should have raised my voice, but is it really worth doing all this? Is she even angry onthis or is she angry at anything I have ever done? After saying all that she has went back to giving me the silent treatment. This has happened to me even as a kid. But I am so jealous of my siblings cuz this has never happened to them. Mom never scolds them, she even tells me not to scold them and talk to them. Well where was this when I was a kid?? Why does the oldest child always have to end up this way? Why do we have to take on all the rage?

Whenever this happens I just apologize because I know that there is literally nothing else that can make it stop, this time this is not working either.

I(17F) had a realisation today, no matter what I do, I am never gonna be enough for them. I just finished school, and am done with both of my major exams,so I wanted to take slow. I had been studying like crazy and while I have some exams next month, wanted to have some fun with friends in this month. So first I went out with my friend a day after we were done with our exams, we had planned for it to be from 3pm-6pm, but since we both ran a bit late, I ended up staying till 7. My mom was SO mad at me for this, she said stuff like "Do you not have any work, is this all you wanna do?" and "You are just wasting ur time" and so much more mean stuff that I don't remember. Mind you this was a DAY after my major exam, and my next exam was a month away. Fast forward to yesterday, I went out with another friend(this is 10 days later) and hung out with her, the plan was for 3pm to 6pm, but we both ran late so it went on till 7pm. She lashed out on me, in front of my friend on the phone btw saying stuff like "I told you to come home by 6, but u never listen to me". But I was late because of her, as I was leaving she told be to do the laundry, fold EVERYONE's clothes(I do mine but idk why she wanted me to do everyones), iron some clothes. I did try to say in the most polite tone possible, because I knew she would blow up on me, that I would be late if I did this, and she started saying how ungrateful I am, and how I don't help around the house for anything. So I did all that and ended up delaying the plan(thank god my friend hadn't left for the place yet). So that was that. Today I woke at 6, helped my siblings get ready for school and then walked them to their bus(this was at around 7:15), then went to the gym and came back at around 9. Then I rested for a bit and had a bath, then got my breakfast and sat down to eat. This is when my mom decides to come and scold me for everything I did wrong today, as little as dropping something on the floor, everything. This ruined my breakfast, then in the end she says "You don't wanna study anymore, I woke u up as 6 today and it's 10 and u still haven't gotten to studying yet. You just go out with friends now and have stopped working all together". I cried after she left. Trust me it was 10 times harsher than what I wrote here, I just choose to forget it cuz otherwise I will be mad at her and as soon as I show any sign of being mad, she will start saying stuff like "Don't you dare be mad at me, the more freedom I give you the more you start acting spoilt". I literally went out with 2 friends, that too at a 10 day interval. I study the entire day, like after my breakfast to lunch, then have my lunch and rest for 30 mins and then again till mid night(I don't have dinner)...like what more should I do? I used to not have friends till middle school. I made friends in high school and it still took an year for me to go out with them, I went out with them like 4 times in the past year, and my mom would become extremely angry after each one of the hang outs for some or the other reason. I get nagged constantly, like once an hour, for something I did hours before, which wasn't even a big deal. I am just soo tired of listening to blah blah blah all day it's literally eating me inside. I try to zone out during the nagging sessions, but then she starts screaming even louder and starts saying mean stuff which which genuinely hurts me. It's like she wants to hurt me. Like am I a spoilt brat or is this really too much?

She is not like this with my younger siblings. When I try to scold my younger siblings for something CLEARLY wrong, then she goes "Why can't you speak nicely to them, they will understand when they grow up" and is SOO SWEET to them. My dad lives in a different country so he doesn't see all of this. She has literally conviced him that I don't study and that I am just rude, for which he has been kinda hinting at me to study properly(he never scolds me, he just kind of say that "I think you haven't been studying as hard lately", and the only source that could come from is my mom telling him that).

How did yall deal with your mom? I am honestly so tired of dealing with this from the moment I wake up to when I sleep. I usually just apologise because there is nothing I can do, cause there is no way she would ever apologise

(Btw I am not a native english speaker, so I converse with my mom in another language, so the stuff she says can't be literally translated, I wrote something similar. Just know that it is genuinely 10 times worse in out native language)

I(17F) had a realisation today, no matter what I do, I am never gonna be enough for them. I just finished school, and am done with both of my major exams,so I wanted to take slow. I had been studying like crazy and while I have some exams next month, wanted to have some fun with friends in this month. So first I went out with my friend a day after we were done with our exams, we had planned for it to be from 3pm-6pm, but since we both ran a bit late, I ended up staying till 7. My mom was SO mad at me for this, she said stuff like "Do you not have any work, is this all you wanna do?" and "You are just wasting ur time" and so much more mean stuff that I don't remember. Mind you this was a DAY after my major exam, and my next exam was a month away. Fast forward to yesterday, I went out with another friend(this is 10 days later) and hung out with her, the plan was for 3pm to 6pm, but we both ran late so it went on till 7pm. She lashed out on me, in front of my friend on the phone btw saying stuff like "I told you to come home by 6, but u never listen to me". But I was late because of her, as I was leaving she told be to do the laundry, fold EVERYONE's clothes(I do mine but idk why she wanted me to do everyones), iron some clothes. I did try to say in the most polite tone possible, because I knew she would blow up on me, that I would be late if I did this, and she started saying how ungrateful I am, and how I don't help around the house for anything. So I did all that and ended up delaying the plan(thank god my friend hadn't left for the place yet). So that was that. Today I woke at 6, helped my siblings get ready for school and then walked them to their bus(this was at around 7:15), then went to the gym and came back at around 9. Then I rested for a bit and had a bath, then got my breakfast and sat down to eat. This is when my mom decides to come and scold me for everything I did wrong today, as little as dropping something on the floor, everything. This ruined my breakfast, then in the end she says "You don't wanna study anymore, I woke u up as 6 today and it's 10 and u still haven't gotten to studying yet. You just go out with friends now and have stopped working all together". I cried after she left. Trust me it was 10 times harsher than what I wrote here, I just choose to forget it cuz otherwise I will be mad at her and as soon as I show any sign of being mad, she will start saying stuff like "Don't you dare be mad at me, the more freedom I give you the more you start acting spoilt". I literally went out with 2 friends, that too at a 10 day interval. I study the entire day, like after my breakfast to lunch, then have my lunch and rest for 30 mins and then again till mid night(I don't have dinner)...like what more should I do? I used to not have friends till middle school. I made friends in high school and it still took an year for me to go out with them, I went out with them like 4 times in the past year, and my mom would become extremely angry after each one of the hang outs for some or the other reason. I get nagged constantly, like once an hour, for something I did hours before, which wasn't even a big deal. I am just soo tired of listening to blah blah blah all day it's literally eating me inside. I try to zone out during the nagging sessions, but then she starts screaming even louder and starts saying mean stuff which which genuinely hurts me. It's like she wants to hurt me. Like am I a spoilt brat or is this really too much?

(Btw I am not a native english speaker, so I converse with my mom in another language, so the stuff she says can't be literally translated, I wrote something similar. Just know that it is genuinely 10 times worse in out native language)