u/ConnectPlatform8419

i need honest advice.

I’m a senior in high school 17F (boarding school) and he’s a freshman in college. 19M We’ve been long distance, and I just found out I’ll probably be long distance again in college too.

Our relationship was really strong emotionally. We talked all the time, fell asleep on FaceTime, and when we were together it felt easy and natural. He always told me I was his favorite person and talked about a future with me. I showed up fully for him—loyal, supportive, never disrespectful, genuinely gave everything I had.

The issue was distance. It stressed him out more than it did me.

He broke up with me saying it was too hard and he needed to put himself first. It felt sudden, but also like something he had been struggling with internally. I didn’t fight it in the moment—I respected it, even though it hurt a lot.

I sent him a long message after the breakup basically saying I was really hurt and confused, but also reflecting on how much I loved him and how meaningful our relationship was to me. I told him I gave everything I had and felt like he was walking away from something genuinely good, even though I was trying to respect his decision. In the end, I said I couldn’t keep fighting for someone who chose to leave, so I was letting him go, even though I still loved him and wanted the best for him.

At first, he responded kind of coldly (“it worked”), which made it feel very final.

Then a few days later, he came back with a completely different energy. He said he regrets it, that losing me wasn’t worth it, and that he never actually processed the breakup. He still has all our pictures, hasn’t told his family, and said he couldn’t fully let go.

We called, and he told me he’s “100% all in” now. He said our last visit affected him a lot—more than before—because we spent the most time together, and when he went back to distance it hit him harder than expected. He admitted he was kind of treating long distance like a “vacation,” and when reality hit again, he panicked and shut down.

He also said the breakup wasn’t fully thought through—it was more of a conversation that escalated, and I did give an ultimatum in the moment, so everything happened quickly.

Now he says he wants to try again and do it right.

Here’s my issue:

I still love him

But the actual situation hasn’t changed (we’re still long distance, and will be for a while)

He already left once when it got hard

I gave everything to this relationship, and I don’t know if I can handle going through that again

I don’t think he’s a bad person—I think he got overwhelmed and made a decision out of fear. But I also don’t know if this is real change or just him reacting to losing me.

So:Is this worth trying again, or is this the kind of situation where history will just repeat itself?

I’m not the best at explaining everything,

i need honest advice.

I’m a senior in high school 17F (boarding school) and he’s a freshman in college. 19M We’ve been long distance, and I just found out I’ll probably be long distance again in college too.

Our relationship was really strong emotionally. We talked all the time, fell asleep on FaceTime, and when we were together it felt easy and natural. He always told me I was his favorite person and talked about a future with me. I showed up fully for him—loyal, supportive, never disrespectful, genuinely gave everything I had.

The issue was distance. It stressed him out more than it did me.

He broke up with me saying it was too hard and he needed to put himself first. It felt sudden, but also like something he had been struggling with internally. I didn’t fight it in the moment—I respected it, even though it hurt a lot.

I sent him a long message after the breakup basically saying I was really hurt and confused, but also reflecting on how much I loved him and how meaningful our relationship was to me. I told him I gave everything I had and felt like he was walking away from something genuinely good, even though I was trying to respect his decision. In the end, I said I couldn’t keep fighting for someone who chose to leave, so I was letting him go, even though I still loved him and wanted the best for him.

At first, he responded kind of coldly (“it worked”), which made it feel very final.

Then a few days later, he came back with a completely different energy. He said he regrets it, that losing me wasn’t worth it, and that he never actually processed the breakup. He still has all our pictures, hasn’t told his family, and said he couldn’t fully let go.

We called, and he told me he’s “100% all in” now. He said our last visit affected him a lot—more than before—because we spent the most time together, and when he went back to distance it hit him harder than expected. He admitted he was kind of treating long distance like a “vacation,” and when reality hit again, he panicked and shut down.

He also said the breakup wasn’t fully thought through—it was more of a conversation that escalated, and I did give an ultimatum in the moment, so everything happened quickly.

Now he says he wants to try again and do it right.

Here’s my issue:

I still love him

But the actual situation hasn’t changed (we’re still long distance, and will be for a while)

He already left once when it got hard

I gave everything to this relationship, and I don’t know if I can handle going through that again

I don’t think he’s a bad person—I think he got overwhelmed and made a decision out of fear. But I also don’t know if this is real change or just him reacting to losing me.

So:Is this worth trying again, or is this the kind of situation where history will just repeat itself?

I’m not the best at explaining everything, so feel free to ask questions if needed.

i need honest advice.

I’m a senior in high school 17F (boarding school) and he’s a freshman in college. 19M We’ve been long distance, and I just found out I’ll probably be long distance again in college too.

Our relationship was really strong emotionally. We talked all the time, fell asleep on FaceTime, and when we were together it felt easy and natural. He always told me I was his favorite person and talked about a future with me. I showed up fully for him—loyal, supportive, never disrespectful, genuinely gave everything I had.

The issue was distance. It stressed him out more than it did me.

He broke up with me saying it was too hard and he needed to put himself first. It felt sudden, but also like something he had been struggling with internally. I didn’t fight it in the moment—I respected it, even though it hurt a lot.

I sent him a long message after the breakup basically saying I was really hurt and confused, but also reflecting on how much I loved him and how meaningful our relationship was to me. I told him I gave everything I had and felt like he was walking away from something genuinely good, even though I was trying to respect his decision. In the end, I said I couldn’t keep fighting for someone who chose to leave, so I was letting him go, even though I still loved him and wanted the best for him.

At first, he responded kind of coldly (“it worked”), which made it feel very final.

Then a few days later, he came back with a completely different energy. He said he regrets it, that losing me wasn’t worth it, and that he never actually processed the breakup. He still has all our pictures, hasn’t told his family, and said he couldn’t fully let go.

We called, and he told me he’s “100% all in” now. He said our last visit affected him a lot—more than before—because we spent the most time together, and when he went back to distance it hit him harder than expected. He admitted he was kind of treating long distance like a “vacation,” and when reality hit again, he panicked and shut down.

He also said the breakup wasn’t fully thought through—it was more of a conversation that escalated, and I did give an ultimatum in the moment, so everything happened quickly.

Now he says he wants to try again and do it right.

Here’s my issue:

I still love him

But the actual situation hasn’t changed (we’re still long distance, and will be for a while)

He already left once when it got hard

I gave everything to this relationship, and I don’t know if I can handle going through that again

I don’t think he’s a bad person—I think he got overwhelmed and made a decision out of fear. But I also don’t know if this is real change or just him reacting to losing me.

So:Is this worth trying again, or is this the kind of situation where history will just repeat itself?

I’m not the best at explaining everything, so feel free to ask questions if needed.

i need honest advice.

I’m a senior in high school 17F (boarding school) and he’s a freshman in college. 19M We’ve been long distance, and I just found out I’ll probably be long distance again in college too.

Our relationship was really strong emotionally. We talked all the time, fell asleep on FaceTime, and when we were together it felt easy and natural. He always told me I was his favorite person and talked about a future with me. I showed up fully for him—loyal, supportive, never disrespectful, genuinely gave everything I had.

The issue was distance. It stressed him out more than it did me.

He broke up with me saying it was too hard and he needed to put himself first. It felt sudden, but also like something he had been struggling with internally. I didn’t fight it in the moment—I respected it, even though it hurt a lot.

I sent him a long message after the breakup basically saying I was really hurt and confused, but also reflecting on how much I loved him and how meaningful our relationship was to me. I told him I gave everything I had and felt like he was walking away from something genuinely good, even though I was trying to respect his decision. In the end, I said I couldn’t keep fighting for someone who chose to leave, so I was letting him go, even though I still loved him and wanted the best for him.

At first, he responded kind of coldly (“it worked”), which made it feel very final.

Then a few days later, he came back with a completely different energy. He said he regrets it, that losing me wasn’t worth it, and that he never actually processed the breakup. He still has all our pictures, hasn’t told his family, and said he couldn’t fully let go.

We called, and he told me he’s “100% all in” now. He said our last visit affected him a lot—more than before—because we spent the most time together, and when he went back to distance it hit him harder than expected. He admitted he was kind of treating long distance like a “vacation,” and when reality hit again, he panicked and shut down.

He also said the breakup wasn’t fully thought through—it was more of a conversation that escalated, and I did give an ultimatum in the moment, so everything happened quickly.

Now he says he wants to try again and do it right.

Here’s my issue:

I still love him

But the actual situation hasn’t changed (we’re still long distance, and will be for a while)

He already left once when it got hard

I gave everything to this relationship, and I don’t know if I can handle going through that again

I don’t think he’s a bad person—I think he got overwhelmed and made a decision out of fear. But I also don’t know if this is real change or just him reacting to losing me.

So:Is this worth trying again, or is this the kind of situation where history will just repeat itself?

I’m not the best at explaining everything, so feel free to ask questions if needed.