u/Confused-asf-1234

My (18f) parents are both addicts, they were physically abusive towards each other until I was taken away from them at 3yo. My mother went to prison, not sure about my dad.

My great grandmother adopted me, I had 2 other siblings who were adopted by a different family, and another brother that died. I was saved, he wasn’t.

Growing up was fine until I was about 6 or 7yo, when my grandma and her husband moved in with me and my great grandma (I call her mammy).

My grandma and her husband fight and argue almost 24/7, and if he isn’t here she’ll either yell at my mammy or me. I didn’t start reacting to her verbal abuse until I was about 10yo. It got so much worse after that. It could be the smallest thing, but I’m being treated like a criminal as a child.

In middle school, things got a lot worse especially as I was discovering who I was as a person. I remember I was about 11yo when my grandma was verbally attacking me, I struck her. Right in the face, and I just kept going. I couldn’t stop. She managed to get me on the ground, and called the cops but they didn’t do anything.

After all that, physical alterations weren’t uncommon between us. I always started it though, she would never listen to me or stop so I just started hitting her. I just wanted it all to stop, I know it’s wrong now but I had no idea what to do. I couldn’t get away from her.

I haven’t done anything physically violent in about 2 years, medication has helped but so has self control. I just walk away, might punch a wall or two but as long as I’m not hurting anyone it’s okay.

When I was 14 I went to Alaska to visit my grand aunt (grandmas sister) and she explained their rough childhood to me. She also told me it isn’t my fault that I’d become violent, she said no one ever protected me so I had to resort the worse thing possible.

I haven’t seen her since then but I honestly want to go back, the middle of nowhere was so nice. She’s strict but she understands, I think she could help me.

I (18f) dropped out of school when I was around 16yo due to anxiety, I know exactly what causes my anxiety about school though just don’t know how to fix it. I want to get my GED at a community college but I need someone from the school district to sign a paper confirming I’m not enrolled in school and I even have too much anxiety to do that, and all I have to do is call them. My anxiety stems from embarrassment and shame, I care too much about what people think.

I have a lot of social anxiety, it got better when I started working though. A lot better, but I lost my job a year ago and basically reverted back to how I was before.

I have so much anxiety, I hate being seen by anyone. My entire existence is embarrassing to me, it really sucks. I was supposed to go hang out with my boyfriend and a bunch of friends, I was excited to go I wanted to go but I didn’t. Then I just cried all day because I wanted to have fun too but I keep doing this to myself.

I haven’t been on anxiety medication in years but I’m picking up a script tomorrow that my psychiatrist recommended, I’m really hoping that it helps. She said that it should help quiet all the overwhelming thoughts I have. I’m excited!! I hope it helps

I’ve(18f) only ever had one other best friend but it was really one sided, it was obvious that I wasn’t her best friend nor did she really care about me that much. It really hurt me, we eventually stopped being friends at some point.

I started hanging out with one of my coworkers(also 18f) about a year ago, and even when we both quit we still continued to talk and hang out. We don’t see each other that much but I definitely consider her my best friend, we have the best conversations and we have so much in common.

The other day we hung out for the first time in awhile, we talked about how it sucks that we can’t see each other that much. Then she was saying that I’m like the only person she’ll go out of her way to hang out with and actually enjoy it, which is the same for me pretty much. I know it’s not a big confirmation but it definitely means something right? Idk, I just haven’t had a close friend for awhile so it feels good to know she actually cares and wants to see me. I’m probably making this too big of a deal lol

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now (in August).

At first we would have sex a lot, multiple times a week, and then it slowed due to life and became about once or twice a week. Now, we will go a month maybe even more.

He hasn’t said anything about it, I even asked him to make sure and he said it was okay. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way.

I want to want to have sex with him, but I just can’t. I try sitting there thinking of sexual things to get me going but it doesn’t work. Plus, I’m always the one that makes the move so he absolutely isn’t going to. I already told him that this bothers me but his response every time is “what if you don’t want to” okay??? What if HE doesn’t want to? Yet I still try? Idk, his response kind of bothered me.

I feel unwanted. He doesn’t take me on dates or anything unless I plan it or ask. I also told him that this bothers me multiple times but he hasn’t done anything. I always have to pick where we go, plan the date, the time, everything. We also spend almost every day together to the point he feels more like a best friend to me than a boyfriend. He has spent weeks at my house, I almost feel suffocated by him.

I miss how we were before, I want to have sex with him but I just don’t feel it. I *want* to feel it. I feel myself getting sexually frustrated with him, but I don’t take it out on him.

TW for a lot of things.

I (18f) have been around alcoholism and drug use my entire life, I always told myself I wouldn’t be like my family but here I am. An absolute failure.

I just wanna mention that the alcohol use has gotten better for me, even though I’m drinking as I type this out. I always end up venting when I drink, so it’s not like it’s fun for me.

I quit my job right before summer last year, I started drinking every few days and just bed rotting. It caused me to gain 50 pounds, on one hand it’s a good thing because I was a solid 90 pounds but on the other the way I did it is really bad.

Every time I drink it’s because I’m “bored” even though if I even see a bottle of alcohol I’ll start craving it. I would drink a pint to 750ml a day, I tried talking about this before but everyone told me I was being dramatic because their family member drinks blah blah blah. Okay? How do you think they started????

I can’t control myself, I try so hard. I’m stealing my grandparents alcohol, and they’re mad and yet they’ll buy me some the next day like??? wtf. I haven’t been asking the last few weeks and trying to control myself, it’s been better but it’s so hard when I’m alone at night. All I wanna do is drink. I don’t even know why because I always end up crying my eyes out, I’m literally crying right now typing this out. I fucking hate this, I hate myself for what I’ve become.

I ruined my entire life and this is how I cope with it, this or weed. At least with weed I’m basically normal. I hate this I hate myself I just want to be normal like everyone else, why did this happen to me? What did I do to make God hate me so much??? I tried to kill myself when I was 14 after being raped, I survived and yeah if I hadn’t survived I wouldn’t have experience the good things but the bad outweighs the good. I’m still hanging on and I will forever do so, but sometimes I just wish I could be in a coma. God please save me from this hell

Me (18f) and my boyfriend (18m) have been together for almost 3 years (in August) but every single time after sex I notice blood, sometimes its just spotting and other times it looks like I literally started my period.

It doesn’t hurt when we have sex, it can in doggy but then I just let him know and we’re back to being good lol.

I do notice that the outside of my vagina hurts afterwards though, kind of like a burning sensation. I usually have to get a damp warm towel to hold down there to help with the pain. At first I thought maybe I wasn’t getting wet enough and it was causing friction so we tried lube but that didn’t fix the problem. Maybe he’s just a little too big girth wise??

I’m(18f) sorry for the kinda cringy title, but I don’t miss my mom I miss my mommy.

My mom has been using meth for my entire life, I have very few memories of her sober. I never got to have the mom everyone else had, and that makes me so sad and angry.

There’s been so many times where I just need to be held by her and loved, but she’s not here. She’s off high somewhere and I live with my grandma. My grandma has never been a good emotional outlet for me either.

I just wanna be small and clueless again in my mom’s arms. She’s been trying to get clean recently, she’s tried that so many times though that now I have no hope but I still try to be there for her sometimes. She was never there for me though, but as much as I want to scream at her I also understand that life has been cruel towards her and addiction is a disease. Idk.

Ive been grieving her for so long even though shes still alive.

I (18f) was assaulted when I was 13, afterwards I ended up missing my period but I honestly thought it was because I had lost so much weight. Naive, I know.

Then one night, I thought my period had started because there was blood. I always had very painful cramps, so bad I’d scream and cry. This was something different though, it hurt so bad and I thought maybe I was constipated because I kept feeling the need to push.

(Sorry tmi) but nothing was coming out so my grandma gave me some laxatives and I just went and laid in bed. The cramping was starting to calm down and then I felt something plop in my underwear. I thought it was just gonna be a huge blood clot, but it was something else. It was fleshy, round like some kind of sack. I know it wasn’t a decidual cast, it looked nothing like that. I mean, I could be wrong but I really don’t think so. I’d like to be wrong

Idk, it’s weird. I don’t think too much about it, if anything I’m glad. It just feels weird, I didn’t start acknowledging that it was a miscarriage until I was like 16. I don’t really know how I feel about it.

I’ve never really spoken to anyone about it, I’ve told my boyfriend and my grandma was there when it happened but other than them no one knows. I mean, it’s not something I’d love to share but sometimes I want to vent about it so I’m doing it here.

It was my boyfriends idea to plan a group hang out with this girl with both know and her boyfriend who he’s friends with. We’re supposed to go to a park so my bf can play basketball with him, and then this park that has mini golf, racing, paint ball, etc and then an arcade to play laser tag.

At first I tried to convince myself that I was excited and wanted to go, but now it’s 6am the day of and I can’t bare the thought of going.

I haven’t slept all night because of it, so now it’s gonna be even harder to go on barely any sleep. I swear it’s like I do this to myself to have a reason not to go. If I don’t go, my boyfriend is gonna be so disappointed. I hate this so much, why do I do this to myself

So, I (18f) had this coworker (mid 30s?) that seemed really nice at first. Overly friendly, gave me a hug my first day.

As things progressed me and my other female coworkers started to notice just how friendly he was being, he would say inappropriate things under the guise of jokes or friendliness. Also hug many of us, which doesn’t seem all that weird but it made us uncomfortable. I can’t remember everything that went down but he did eventually get fired.

The problem is, he has shown up twice now. It’s also Walmart, so that makes it even more difficult. I was training someone when he came up to me trying to have a conversation, I was polite because I was in front of customers. He eventually was standing behind me, almost towering over me and gave me a hug. He told the person I was training that they shouldn’t work here because the managers accuse you of stealing. When he left I clarified to them that he was fired for harassment and to not listen to anything he says.

Once customers were gone me and the other girls had to hide in our return room up at the front of the store. There was 3 of us in there, he somehow noticed us through the small window on the door and began talking to the managers who were basically standing guard in front of the door.

They will not ban him, they have not explained it well. They basically just said, “we can’t”. What? He’s literally scaring us so bad we have to HIDE… wtf.

Idk how Walmart typically deals with things like this, but would it be crazy if I quit over this? I don’t want to quit, I actually enjoy my job but I don’t want to be scared to come to work every day.

First I’ll just explain why I’m going. Me and my boyfriend are friends with her sister and boyfriend and we’re all planning on hanging out as a group on Sunday. She decided to invite her boyfriend’s long distance friend as a surprise but he has to stay at her house the night before since it would take too long to drive here on Sunday to make it on time. So she decided to also invite us to stay the night so it won’t be awkward.

I did have the option to say no, but I want to go and hang out. It’s not like shes the only one who lives there, but I’m just nervous.

Things didn’t end well between us, so it’ll be awkward to see her again. I have a lot of anxiety in general but I need to get over it, I don’t like her having this power over me if that makes sense.

There’s so many things I want to do, and I even plan to do things but I just get idk tired. As soon as the opportunity arises or I actually think about doing it, I suddenly feel unmotivated and uninterested.

I’ve been wanting to pick up reading again, I always loved reading books but I haven’t in a really long time. I have an entire list of books I want to read, but I haven’t gone to the library even though I keep saying I will.

I’ve been wanting to get into crochet, I even tried it once but then gave up.

Makeup, dressing up, going to a restaurant, gaming, crafting, etc. anything. It even applies to basic hygiene.