u/Confident-Media-3290

Hello,

I have been NC with my mother over 9 months. I blocked her number and the only time I heard from her was through a message which she sent to my husband in January: “I thought she (me) would reach out to me on Christmas at least”. I had anxiety attack about it and was feeling lightheaded for like a week.

Then my grandma called last week that I had to resolve this “drama” between us (I told her I am an adult making her own decisions) and even this situation is making me feel anxious since then. I have trouble falling asleep, I feel this anxious tremble in my chest.

My mother is living close to me, know where I live, and since the day I went NC I have been terrified that she will come to my house and confront me. I am terrified of her ringing my bell, terrified of her coming to my work, terrified of her contacting me in general..

I am in therapy for year and a half. I started with panic attacks at first but we slowly realised that the core of the problem is my mother and her behaviour during my childhood.

Is it normal to feel like this? Why do I feel like this? What can I do to prevent this feeling?

Thanks you for any advice or comment✨

Hello,

I have been NC with my mother over 9 months. I blocked her number and the only time I heard from her was through a message which she sent to my husband in January: “I thought she (me) would reach out to me on Christmas at least”. I had anxiety attack about it and was feeling lightheaded for like a week.

Then my grandma called last week that I had to resolve this “drama” between us and even this situation is making me feel anxious since then. I have trouble falling asleep, I feel this anxious tremble in my chest.

My mother is living close to me, know where I live, and since the day I went NC I have been terrified that she will come to my house and confront me. I am terrified of her ringing my bell, terrified of her coming to my work, terrified of her contacting me in general..

I am in therapy for year and a half. I started with panic attacks at first but we slowly realised that the core of the problem is my mother and her behaviour during my childhood.

Is it normal to feel like this? Why do I feel like this? What can I do to prevent this feeling?

Thanks you for any advice or comment✨

I am in no contact with my mother for over 6 months. I told her that if she would start to heal her traumas and improve her mental health I would gladly help, until that time however I have no interest to be in contact with her.

She did nothing for herself until now and in her life I am the villain (and she is telling that to other people as well).

Right now I got a call from my grandma (her mother) telling me I have to resolve this big conflict we have with each other and I have to speak to her again. That she is the only mother I would ever have, blabla. I told her firmly no, that I am an adult who is making her own decision and I don’t want to just throw the years of abuse over my head and forget about it. After my words my grandmother said: “oh, well I will remember that! I will remember that you won’t forgive, what a human you are..” And then she hung up on me.

.. am i really the villain? Why people blaming things on me? Why do I feel like this?