28 [M4F] Searching for Connection
Sige na, hindi ko na lolokohin ang sarili ko. Hindi ko na lolokohin ang sarili ko na kesyo okay naman mag-isa or mas convenient ang single or mas tahimik ang buhay kapag walang nangungulit na partner. Hindi ko na rin bobolahin ang mga friends ko na kino comment-an ko na lang ng 'I am happy for you two' or 'sana maging masaya kayo' sa mga feel good posts nila with their plus ones. I've been a ghost for 28 years already, never did I pursue someone or commit to any serious relationship, I guess...its time to face my own ghost, look him in the eye and admit to myself than I am yearning for connection. Wala akong maipagmamalaki to be honest, I mean wala akong long term na plano sa buhay, I just live in the moment and let my future self handle my future problems. Sahod ko ay sapat lang para sa bills, hindi ako matangkad, face card ko ay, alam mo yun? yung hindi nagi-stand out? yung itsura na madaling makalimutan, most of the time ay mukha akong dumb looking na person. Naglalaro ako ng valo at ML pero kadalasan talo, nagbi-bike din ako pero yung mga malapit lang, jogging and walking paminsan, marunong akong magluto (pag wala na akong choice) and recently ay nahilig ako mag hiking. I play very basic guitar and keyboard. I am an agnostic...I know..I know...alam ko na iniisip mo pero its fine, I respect your opinion. I chose to highlight yung mga un-attractive or yung mga less appealing traits ko. I don't know if that's smart but I would be happy if someone out there saw my 'less appealing and un-attractive traits' to be actually....interesting. That way malalaman ko na hindi lang looks and aura ang habol nya. I am planting this seedling here.. If it sprouts, let's grow the seedling together. If not, well, at least we tried.