u/CauliflowerCorrect10

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So, I'm just coming to the realisation at 34 years of age that I think my parents enabled me to be groomed.

When I was 13, I started dating a 17 year old boy. My parents knew about this and encouraged it. I lost my virginity to him at 13 (mum took me to the doctors before it happened to put me on the contraceptive pill). I stayed with him for four years, tried multiple times to leave him but he always said that he would kill himself or would begin to stalk my house. My parents knew all this and once, my mom even said that if he does kill himself, it'll be my fault. When I left him for good, she cried about how much she would miss him (he'd become 'part of the family').

On the rare occasions I'd manage to leave him for a couple of weeks, if I dated someone my own age, my mom would mock me and say I was 'babysitting' my new boyfriend. She used to let him into the house when he came by, even when we had split up. Even when I was home. This guy stood in the alley beside the house so he could look into my bedroom window and she used to let him in. The stalking that he exhibited was terrifying and I started to fear he would do me serious harm. Again, mom didn't actively try to stop this. Tried encouraging me to get back with him.

I know this was a long time ago, but I'm just now realising what this was. And honestly, its left me really shaken. That my parents allowed this. I still speak to them and have a relationship with them but I can't shake this. Am I overreacting here? I still blame myself for being with this guy, having sex with this guy when i was 13, for not leaving sooner regardless of the threats. It makes me feel weak in all honesty, which I know isn't right.

reddit.com
u/CauliflowerCorrect10 — 10 days ago

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So, I'm just coming to the realisation at 34 years of age that I think my parents enabled me to be groomed.

When I was 13, I started dating a 17 year old boy. My parents knew about this and encouraged it. I lost my virginity to him at 13 (mum took me to the doctors before it happened to put me on the contraceptive pill). I stayed with him for four years, tried multiple times to leave him but he always said that he would kill himself or would begin to stalk my house. My parents knew all this and once, my mom even said that if he does kill himself, it'll be my fault. When I left him for good, she cried about how much she would miss him (he'd become 'part of the family').

On the rare occasions I'd manage to leave him for a couple of weeks, if I dated someone my own age, my mom would mock me and say I was 'babysitting' my new boyfriend. She used to let him into the house when he came by, even when we had split up. Even when I was home. This guy stood in the alley beside the house so he could look into my bedroom window and she used to let him in. The stalking that he exhibited was terrifying and I started to fear he would do me serious harm. Again, mom didn't actively try to stop this. Tried encouraging me to get back with him.

I know this was a long time ago, but I'm just now realising what this was. And honestly, its left me really shaken. That my parents allowed this. I still speak to them and have a relationship with them but I can't shake this. Am I overreacting here? I still blame myself for being with this guy, having sex with this guy, for not leaving sooner regardless of the threats. It makes me feel weak in all honesty, which I know isn't right.

reddit.com
u/CauliflowerCorrect10 — 10 days ago

So, I'm just coming to the realisation at 34 years of age that I think my parents enabled me to be groomed.

When I was 13, I started dating a 17 year old boy. My parents knew about this and encouraged it. I lost my virginity to him at 13 (mum took me to the doctors before it happened to put me on the contraceptive pill). I stayed with him for four years, tried multiple times to leave him but he always said that he would kill himself or would begin to stalk my house. My parents knew all this and once, my mom even said that if he does kill himself, it'll be my fault. When I left him for good, she cried about how much she would miss him (he'd become 'part of the family').

On the rare occasions I'd manage to leave him for a couple of weeks, if I dated someone my own age, my mom would mock me and say I was 'babysitting' my new boyfriend. She used to let him into the house when he came by, even when we had split up. Even when I was home. This guy stood in the alley beside the house so he could look into my bedroom window and she used to let him in. The stalking that he exhibited was terrifying and I started to fear he would do me serious harm. Again, mom didn't actively try to stop this. Tried encouraging me to get back with him.

I know this was a long time ago, but I'm just now realising what this was. And honestly, its left me really shaken. That my parents allowed this. I still speak to them and have a relationship with them but I can't shake this. Am I overreacting here? I still sort of blame myself for being with this guy. For having sex with him when I was so young. For not leaving sooner

reddit.com
u/CauliflowerCorrect10 — 10 days ago