u/ButterscotchFickle24

25M here, my girlfriend is 27F and we’ve been living together for the past 4 years in China. We both came here during university, and after I graduated I chose to stay because of her. I managed to get a really good sales job, built a stable life here, and honestly life in China has been good for us overall.

Recently, she told me she’ll be going back to my home country after she graduates in July because her parents are getting older and she feels she needs to be closer to them. I understand her reason completely and I respect her responsibility toward her family, but I can’t ignore how it makes me feel.

I’ve been feeling quite lonely and uncertain because, in my mind, I always imagined us building a long-term life together. I was hoping this would naturally turn into a shared future and something stable, maybe even starting a family one day. Now I’m starting to fear that a long-distance relationship might not be the best path for us, even though I do see signs that she is committed to us and generally respectful, aside from the normal small arguments any couple has.

Whenever I’ve brought it up, she’s told me she’s leaving it in God’s hands. There was even a moment in her past where things worked out in a surprising way for her like when she got a master’s scholarship after simply giving a speech at graduation,so she really believes things tend to align for her spiritually.

I don’t want to feel selfish about this. I know her parents are important and I don’t want to be the reason she feels held back from them. At the same time, I can’t help feeling a bit down because I genuinely wanted to build a happy, shared life with her, and this change feels like it’s pulling that possibility into uncertainty.

I’m just trying to process everything. I feel stuck between wanting to support her decision and feeling afraid of what this distance might do to us.

TL:DR 25M & 27F, together for 4 years in China after meeting in uni. I stayed here after graduating for her and built a stable life, but she’ll be moving back home after graduation in July to be closer to her aging parents. I understand her reasons, but I’m feeling uncertain and a bit down about us possibly going long distance and not having a clear plan for the future.

25M here, my girlfriend is 27F and we’ve been living together for the past 4 years in China. We both came here during university, and after I graduated I chose to stay because of her. I managed to get a really good sales job, built a stable life here, and honestly life in China has been good for us overall.

Recently, she told me she’ll be going back to my home country after she graduates in July because her parents are getting older and she feels she needs to be closer to them. I understand her reason completely and I respect her responsibility toward her family, but I can’t ignore how it makes me feel.

I’ve been feeling quite lonely and uncertain because, in my mind, I always imagined us building a long-term life together. I was hoping this would naturally turn into a shared future and something stable, maybe even starting a family one day. Now I’m starting to fear that a long-distance relationship might not be the best path for us, even though I do see signs that she is committed to us and generally respectful, aside from the normal small arguments any couple has.

Whenever I’ve brought it up, she’s told me she’s leaving it in God’s hands. There was even a moment in her past where things worked out in a surprising way for her like when she got a master’s scholarship after simply giving a speech at graduation,so she really believes things tend to align for her spiritually.

I don’t want to feel selfish about this. I know her parents are important and I don’t want to be the reason she feels held back from them. At the same time, I can’t help feeling a bit down because I genuinely wanted to build a happy, shared life with her, and this change feels like it’s pulling that possibility into uncertainty.

I’m just trying to process everything. I feel stuck between wanting to support her decision and feeling afraid of what this distance might do to us.