u/BunchCrafty5267

I come from a middle class family. My parents gave me the primary education that they couldn't even afford. They sent me to a school where all my classmates had rich parents and they never struggled with money. They used to go party and have fun every weekend. They used to invite me too, but I always denied because I knew my parents wouldn't agree to pay for that. I'm very grateful that they put me in such a prestigious school but I often felt inferior in comparison to my classmates.

After 12th, even though all my friends studied just as much as me, they got into big big colleges through management quota and I joined a tier three engineering which is not even in my city. Even now, in college, all my friends are financially more well off. Same story continues. I can't go out on weekends. I keep watching reels on how teenagers should travel a lot in their college life as it will be their best memory but unfortunately I've never been on a trip with my friends. I didn't even go for the 10th grade school trip to goa. I've missed out on a lot due to financial issues.

I have been experiencing severe hairfall since 11th grade and a lot of people suggested me to go visit a doctor for the same. But I can't afford to spend much on it so I'll have to deal with my embarrassing, nearly bald scalp until I find a job. Besides, I also need therapy as I have a lot of underlying issues because of which I'm extremely under confident and have a very low self esteem. But again, I can't afford it.

Nowadays, I frequently fight with my parents blaming them indirectly for not being rich. I tell them how all my friends have rich parents and only im the one suffering. I feel awful for doing so but at the heat of the moment it just comes out from my mouth.

I'm so ungrateful. I know. But they have always been very stingy and accuse me of being a spendthrift and make me feel guilty when i spend on the most basic stuff. That's when I lose control and blame them.

Please tell me who is wrong and who is right. How do I change my behavior and be more grateful and mature.

I have a few friends, but I’ve never felt like I have a genuine connection with any of them.

I care deeply about them, support them, and want the best for them but I don’t feel that same level of care coming back. They’re nice to me, but it feels surface-level, and I don’t fully trust them.

Over time, most of my friendships seem to drift away, even though I haven’t been rude or done anything intentionally wrong. It makes me wonder if I’m the problem—maybe I come across as boring or too distant.

Lately, this has been affecting me more than usual. I’ve become more irritable, and even small things from them annoy me.

How do I deal with this?

Is it better to stop expecting deeper connections, or is there something I should change about how I approach friendships?

I have a few friends, but I’ve never felt like I have a genuine connection with any of them.

I care deeply about them, support them, and want the best for them but I don’t feel that same level of care coming back. They’re nice to me, but it feels surface-level, and I don’t fully trust them.

Over time, most of my friendships seem to drift away, even though I haven’t been rude or done anything intentionally wrong. It makes me wonder if I’m the problem—maybe I come across as boring or too distant.

Lately, this has been affecting me more than usual. I’ve become more irritable, and even small things from them annoy me.

How do I deal with this?

Is it better to stop expecting deeper connections, or is there something I should change about how I approach friendships?

I have a few friends, but I’ve never felt like I have a genuine connection with any of them.

I care deeply about them, support them, and want the best for them but I don’t feel that same level of care coming back. They’re nice to me, but it feels surface-level, and I don’t fully trust them.

Over time, most of my friendships seem to drift away, even though I haven’t been rude or done anything intentionally wrong. It makes me wonder if I’m the problem—maybe I come across as boring or too distant.

Lately, this has been affecting me more than usual. I’ve become more irritable, and even small things from them annoy me.

How do I deal with this?

Is it better to stop expecting deeper connections, or is there something I should change about how I approach friendships?