And it gives me the same satisfaction when I see her bites and scratches on my arms as when I cut myself. She's just playing, but shes a kitten and has very sharp teeth. Ive been clean for 5 months but i dont know how to feel about it. She likes playing rough with me but im scared its fueling my SH addiction. Does this make sense? Any advice?
TW: Blood in photo
I (18F) gave birth in Oct 2025. My OBGYN gave me bad vibes from the first appointment where one of the first things she said to me was "so next appointment we'll set your induction date" claiming she likes to induce all her patients instead of letting them go into labor naturally. She was very insistent on me not saying no to an episiotomy since "it makes it much easier and faster" but I held my ground and said absolutely no episiotomy.
My due date was Nov 3 and on October 23rd when I went to my last appointment she said "She's measuring a little bit smaller than the average baby so we're gonna induce you today. Go home and grab your hospital bag and come back to give birth!" I told them I didn't want an epidural and I would do it naturally, but of course my whole labor they wouldn't stop pushing it "oh you'll feel so much better if you just get an epidural! Are you sure? It's so great!" They eventually pressured my mom into pressuring me to get an epidural. I gave birth with minimal tearing, only like 3 labial stitches.
Fast forward to December 1st at my Postpartum follow up visit, I was led to the room by a nurse who told me to undress from the waist down and wait for the Dr to come do my Postpartum exam. I did so and waited under the paper sheet for the Dr. When she came in she said "ugh Mondays.", and sat down all exhausted-like. I was like "haha yeah" and sat there awkwardly wearing just a shirt. She then goes " I don't really wanna do the exam today so we'll just skip that part. How's the baby? How is everything?" I told her everything was good, and all of my stitches had fallen out by now and one was kind of sore whenever I sat on it and was tender. She says it was most likely because I work from home at a desk and sit down all day. I have this app called "MyChart" where I can see all the clinical notes my doctor takes. I cant take screenshots but ill copy and paste what she put in her notes about this visit.
"Heart: warm, well-perfused
Lungs: normal respiratory effort
Abdomen: soft, nt, nd
Extremities: no edema, no calf tenderness"
Which basically means she lied about examining me.
2 days later I'm in agonizing pain, I can't sit down, I have to walk like a penguin, and my right labia is swollen to the size of a golf ball. I go back in to the Dr's and she goes "oh wow that's really infected" she then goes "ok [nurse] bring me some needles and syringes and lidocaine, we're gonna have to drain this." So I'm laying on the little doctor bed table thing, she stabs the abcess, and I literally screamed. She stopped and i asked if she has any kind of numbing cream she can put on because mind you IT HURT TOO BAD TOO EVEN SIT DOWN and she just stabbed it. She said no and tried again to which I screamed "FUCK STOP IT RIGHT NOW" and sat up sobbing because it hurt so damn bad. She then goes "ok well if you can't handle it in office we're gonna have to go to the OR" and I was like "yes please you should've done that in the first place, it hurts too bad to touch my legs together, how the hell could I sit through needles being stabbed into it." (I didn't say all that but like DAMN LADY)
I ended up getting surgery where they removed a 3x2 cm abcess. After the surgery, it stung so bad every time I peed, I could barely sit down, and my fiancee had to re-pack gauze into the 3 cm open wound they left on my labia 2 times every day for 2 weeks. I then looked back at my MyChart and this is what she wrote.
"At her postpartum visit on Monday (12/01) reported incisions were healing well. This morning, she called clinic due to increased pain and swelling on right labial. On physical exam, there is a 3x2 cm right labial abscess. Patient was unable to tolerate I&D in the office. Due to size and pain, recommended proceeding with I&D in the OR."
I absolutely did tell her about the sore spot on my labia and tenderness while sitting down on Monday when she decided not to do the Postpartum exam!
It was the worst experience I've ever had at a doctor and i needed to rant. AIO?
Hi all, im an 18 year old FTM and I gave birth on October 24th, 2025. I made the difficult decision to place my beautiful daughter with 2 amazing adoptive parents, and although I wouldn't change my decision if I had to re-do it a million times, it definitely has had an effect on my mental state. My OBGYN told me before I gave birth that I have a high chance of PD, and ive just been feeling so awful for the past like 5 months. I cant stop thinking about her. Any advice on how to cope? Im in therapy but my therapist is very dismissive and im currently working on finding a new one. Thanks everyone :)