My (25F) husband (27M) got married several months ago. We got married pretty quickly after he proposed, about 2 months after. I want to preface this by saying he really has always been the perfect partner, he has always been incredibly attentive, kind, and loving towards me. He consistently does what he can for my comfort and happiness, and has always made me feel like I’m the only girl that exists to him. So when I found these texts it was a massive shock. I found out that he was messaging a former fwb of his a month before he proposed to me. The messages were VERY sexual between them both (brought up previous encounters, images involved, etc etc), and there was no mention of having a girlfriend or anything of the sort. They messaged twice more after that, once a month before our wedding and again about a month after. Both of those times weren’t sexual, but she reached out asking to meet up (not for sex) and he said he moved and was no longer in town (he moved to the city where I go to grad school which is several states away from where he used to live). Needless to say I’m really in shock. Like I said before he really has always been the best partner and so I never saw something like this coming. When I confronted him about it he was extremely remorseful and seemed really ashamed. I don’t think he had much of an explanation beyond “I’m so stupid I really don’t know what was going through my head” followed by a bunch of tears and how much he loves me and how I’m everything to him etc etc. since everything has happened he has gone above and beyond to try to regain my trust and also rebuild that spark and comfort between us. He has said multiple times that he’ll do whatever he has to and that he’s so grateful I didn’t leave him, and regardless of how long it takes to rebuild that trust he’s willing to put the work in. I know he’s trying his best, and I know he truly loves me and I love him. It’s just so hard to not feel hurt or reminded every day of what he did. I find myself thinking about it while we’re laying in bed, or even when he tries to initiate intimacy. I just keep replaying the messages over and over, and now I feel skeptical, on edge, and honestly quite a bit insecure as well. Im not sure if I’m overreacting. Or if I’m just not being patient enough. This happened a month ago so I’m not sure if I’m holding onto it for longer than I should or if it’s going to need more time.
Advice request: Does anyone have any suggestions for letting go of what happened so that I can move on and not be so impacted by this?
TLDR; husband emotionally cheated before we got married and I’m trying to work past it.