As Salamu Aleykum,
I'd like to start by informing you that this is probably going to be a long one.
I'm living in London UK, I grew up in a household that had the Quran present but never read it, one that believed in a creator but that most things about religions itself were "man-made".
I always had a connection to my creator and felt as though something was missing in my life at all times, even when I had the newest cars and money in my pocket that didn't fit so I carried it in pouches.
I got married a few years ago, and during the pregnancy of my first child I looked more into Islam and started watching many videos on hours to end about the Quran and the signs of the final days. It was made clear to me by Allah SWT and I reverted before my child was born.
Alhamdulillah I read Shahadah in my child's ear when they were born and named them Islamically. Now to the part where everything took a turn. The more I read the more I realised that we as a people and family were living life wrong and not to the standards that Allah has ordained us to. Even upon realising this I kept my religion to myself in a way that everyone knew I started practicing but I never enforced anything on anyone as it was clear that many of them were in love with Dunya.
My partners actions started to bother me, the open clothing, the make up only when going out, the drinking and free mixing with people who I didn't know. It was her cousin's wedding and she wanted to go abroad to be present (her cousin's brother - also her cousin - was her ex at a point in her life for 2 years). I knew he would be there but didn't want to hold her back from her cousin's wedding. So off she went.
When she came back I found out that they went to an after party after the wedding and alcohol was present. She argues that uncles and relatives were at the table too and this makes it ok. Needless to say the betrayal made me flip out and arguments happened. After this I found out that they also went sight seeing with 2 other relatives the next day.
I brought this up to my parents who were thankfully on my side and told me I was within my rights to find this as betrayal. When I spoke to her mother (single and very happy by the looks of her found freedom) she told me that I was over reacting and that I shouldn't be so controlling and that I was manipulating her daughter and controlling her life.
Her mother started to lie about me and say I was talking to women in the business I owned when I have to greet people who enter the establishment. The stress of the arguments this caused started to fail my business and within a year I fell bankrupt and working manual labour jobs.
Time passed and second child was born, things got worse and name calling was casual behaviour. I used to work 12 hours 6 days a week and when I came home not a hi or how was your day. I would try to give her Dawah in a way to say that we were made for one another, we have kids and we should behave like parents. I carried on with my gestures like flowers, cooking for her, or running errands.
All this started to weigh me down and the fact that sexual relations we're used as a method of control over me and withheld made me feel like I was losing my marriage.
I spoke to my mother and father who told me keep trying not to break your home. So I did, I was thrown out of the house over 40 times (actual number). When I finally saw it for what it was she told me she wants a divorce, so I granted her wish.
At the last family meeting to finalise things her mother and her insisted that I was "too religious". I guess praying, fasting and not wanting my wife to go out in skin tight leggings was a deal breaker.
They spread roumours about me, and how I was abusive and manipulative. They even spoke bad about my parents. I dont believe in talking bad about my kids mother to others so they were only able to hear her side of the story. Needless to say the judgemental looks and the fake smiles at events are a dead give-away.
This is something I just wanted to share with you guys, when I took my Shahadah I told Allah, no matter how you test me I will say Alhamdulillah. And so I did, some days were hard but as the fog cleared I always knew where my priority lay. I would love to put my kids to bed and sleep in the same room as them, but Alhamdulillah finding Islam was granted to me. No matter its cost.
No question here I guess, just a story of a revert who lost 99% of family and relatives for practicing.
Thank you for reading,
As Salamu Aleykum.